Love Lessons
by McIzzieFan
Summary: Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Emily and Katie just wants to get revenge on Effy. Set around the start of series 4, Naomily and Jatie, ups, downs and all the complications that come with falling in love.
1. Out There A Lonely Girl Could Drown

**So i was getting bored without Perfect Life, so here's my new fiction, at the request of a friend it's set in college, around the time of the start of series 4. Reviews are lovely, especially with this being quite a new idea, the feedback would be appreciated.**

JJ just couldn't stop staring, couldn't stop watching her. Emily, Emily, Emily... Emily's hair, it's redder than it was before. Emily's face, she's smiling more than she was before. Emily's breasts... Well, they're the same as they were before, and he would know, because he's seen them, and they're lovely. Emily's hand, intertwined with another, one that belongs to the tall blonde standing next to her. He knows he shouldn't feel jealous, because she isn't his and she never was. He knows he shouldn't have feelings for her, because she made it clear from the start that it was just sex. He knows he shouldn't think about her, because she's gay and his friend, but all the same he just can't stop.

"Stop perving on my sister weirdo." Katie's voice cuts through the silence, jolting JJ from his daydream, he looks up at what should be a carbon copy of the one he's lusting after, but she isn't. Her hair has changed too, it's darker, they don't look so much like twins anymore, the same eyes, but otherwise very different.

"I... I'm not, i'm not doing anything." JJ blushes, surprised when the older twin sits herself down next to him. Watching her, he tried to work out her expression, it was sort of pained, and he knew it couldn't be because she'd caught him lusting over Emily. Following her eyeline he suddenly spotted the source of Katie's sudden distress, Effy.

JJ noticed Emily turn to check that Katie is okay, he always noticed Emily. JJ also noticed the way that Katie has suddenly closed the gap between them, shuffling on her chair so that she's as close to JJ as possible, she looks scared, and he can tell she hates being scared of Effy.

"Shit... Fucking bitch." Katie mutters, it's an unconscious action, moving closer to JJ. She just needs to feel safe, and this makes her wonder exactly how she's going to get through a whole day of school.

It was the first time Katie had seen Effy since the woods. There was a letter, it arrived in the holidays, Effy apologised, Katie hadn't responded. She couldn't find forgiveness in herself, nothing could make up for what Effy had done. Katie was still jumping at shadows, there was no way a letter could fix anything.

"Katie are you alright?" JJ asked, not really knowing what to do. Any physical contact would feel like he was breaking the boundaries of their nonexistent friendship, JJ couldn't help wishing that Katie had chosen to sit next to someone else that morning.

"Fucking hell, just make me laugh or something. I don't want her to think she's got any kind of power over me." Katie hissed, jabbing JJ in the side, Katie couldn't help wishing that she'd chosen to sit next to someone else that morning.

"Erm... Why did the chicken cross the road?" JJ started, scratching his ear nervously. Recoiling as he felt Katie's foot connect with his shin. "Ow! Why did you do that?!" JJ squealed.

"Because you're fucking useless!" Katie growled, before breaking out into a loud burst of fake laughter, Christ if he wasn't going to make her laugh she'd just have to do it herself, Katie thought to herself, just as Effy began to approach.

"Hi Katie." Effy muttered, raising an eyebrow at Katie's clearly fake guffawing, before feeling a hand on her shoulder pulling her back. It felt threatening, the kind of move Katie should have been making right about now, but instead Katie was cowering. Rather than feel empowered by this, Effy felt like shit, and turned to face whoever wanted to punish her.

"Get the fuck away from her. I mean it Effy." Emily growled, surprising practically the entirety of their form group, quiet little Emily Fitch looked fierce, even Naomi looked a little surprised at her girlfriend.

"I've apologised Emily. What more do you want, blood?" Effy asked, her voice low, noticing how Emily's normally warm eyes, looked so cold staring into hers. Effy tried to pull back, pull away from the angry redhead but Emily wouldn't let go.

"I will do, if you ever touch my sister again. No-one wants you here Effy." Emily spat, giving a brief supportive smile in Katie's direction, before Naomi dragged her away.

"I'm sorry." Effy muttered, closing her eyes, her heart racing as she wondered exactly what she was going to do. Spotting Panda in the corner of the classroom, she noticed her best friend patting the seat next to her, beckoning her to sit down. At least someone had been able to forgive her.

**

"What the hell was that? Ems you went fucking crazy back there." Naomi hissed, pulling her girlfriend into the toilets, she glared at some year twelves who quickly scurried out. Muttering something offensive in their direction as they left, Naomi rolled her eyes moving back to Emily who was still balling her fists.

"Katie needs looking after, she's a mess and Effy's just strolling around like nothing's happened." Emily explained, still angry, she kicked at the cubicle door. Relaxing only when Naomi pulled her in close, kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

"Let Katie fight her own battles Ems, we can keep an eye on her, but she needs to work out all this Effy stuff for herself. You going around threatening her isn't going to help." Naomi soothed, breathing in the smell of Emily's hair. A familiar ripple of lust running over her, it had almost been a week since they'd been able to spend any time together privately.

Emily nodded quietly, turning her head up to meet Naomi's gaze. Quickly finding her girlfriends lips, the gentle kiss soon turned passionate. The two tussled in a battle of tongues, completely forgetting their current location as hands began running through hair, desperation to press their bodies as closely together as possible. Naomi dropped her hands from Emily's face, down to the sinks where she gripped on tightly just to steady herself.

"Oh fucking hell, not at school Emily!" Katie interrupted, clamping her hand tightly over her own eyes, as Emily and Naomi tried to prise themselves apart. Giggling, they tried to smooth their hair and straighten their clothes. Katie wasn't too bothered though, she hadn't been all summer really, not that she let Emily or Naomi know that. After all the resistance she'd quickly realised that Emily was far more fun to be with when she was happy, and Naomi made her happy.

"Sorry Katiekins." Naomi laughed, walking out the bathroom to leave the sisters to talk to each other in private, winking at Katie as she passed, it was still hilarious to wind Katie up.

"Think she knows her buttons are undone?" Katie grinned the second Naomi was out of earshot, laughing at the image she had of Naomi storming down the corridor with her tits practically on show.

"Oh god, should I go and tell her?" Emily panicked, darting towards the door, feeling herself pulled back by Katie, who stopped her from leaving. Emily reluctantly decided to leave it, leaning back against the sinks.

"She'll figure it out soon enough, anyway I want to thank you." Katie smiled, taking hold of her sisters hand. A strange moment, one that never would have occurred a year ago, and yet here they were, completely different people.

"It was nothing Katie." Emily dismissed, squeezing Katie's hand in hers. "You'll be alright you know K, I promise. Effy won't ever hurt you again, I won't let her."

"You'll be too busy with your girlfriend, to notice when the bitch comes running at me with a rock again." Katie sighed, because despite everything, she couldn't help but be a little bit jealous of Naomi taking Emily away from her. Katie found it strange, being without her favourite accessory.

"We look out for each other, girlfriend or not. I will always be here." Emily promised, enveloping her sister in a tight hug, breaking apart only when the sound of the bell demanded they head back to registration.

**

It came to lunchtime, and Katie didn't know what to do with herself. She certainly didn't fancy being a third wheel, whilst Emily and Naomi ate each others faces for a solid hour, not even stopping for food. Pandora had chosen her side, she'd chosen Effy, so she wasn't an offer for companionship either. There was Freddie, probably sat on the field smoking a spliff, but he was a twat and it would be far too awkward so that left him out of the running for potential lunch date as well. That left Cook and JJ, wandering to the canteen, she quickly spotted them, building what could only be described as a small castle out of fish fingers.

"Alright Kit Kat?" Cook beamed, knocking over a tower, much to JJ's distress, who quickly set about rebuilding it.

"Are you playing with your food?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh, things really had got bad if she was stuck with these two for friendship.

"We're constructing some medieval thing, JJ's explaining history to me." Cook explained, taking a bite out of one of the fish fingers, which earned Cook yet another dirty look from JJ.

"Right... Using fish fingers?" Katie sighed, pulling a diet coke out of her own bag, setting it down on the table in front of her, as she waited for an explanation.

"Cook has a very short attention span, if he can eat it, then it helps him stay interested. Different learning techniques, work for different people." JJ smiled, furrowing his forehead as he tried to plan out how he was going to achieve the final wall. "I think we're going to need more fish fingers"

"I'll go and sweet talk the dinner lady into giving us more. Be back in a sec JJ." Cook grinned, leaping up from the table like an excitable schoolboy, Katie couldn't help but be amused.

"So you're teaching Cook history?" Katie smiled, drinking from her can, watching Cook flirt with an overweight dinner lady who was more than happy to load Cook's plate with breadcrumb covered sticks of fish.

"He's very behind in all of his subjects, I don't want him to fail." JJ smiled, consulting his textbook to make sure that the castle was factually correct. Katie couldn't help but laugh at JJ's complete dedication to attention to detail.

"So you're doing all this for him, what are you getting in return?" Katie asked, reaching out to adjust a wall, because she did listen in History, occasionally.

"Nothing. It's called being a good friend Katie. Plus, there's nothing that I want." JJ lied, blushing as he watched Emily walk into the canteen with Naomi, there was something that he wanted and that was Emily.

"Shit you've got it bad. You do know she's a tits and fanny kind of girl don't you J?" Katie teased, rolling her eyes at JJ's lovesick expression, watching as Naomi gripped onto Emily's hand, watching how it made JJ shake his head, looking as if he was suffering.

"She's mentioned it." JJ sighed, because he felt a little stupid, saying all this in front of Katie, admitting that he was lusting after a lesbian who he didn't even have the slightest chance with.

"Christ you need to move on, find someone new, there's plenty of girls around J. You just need to find one that doesn't love minge as much as you do." Katie laughed, grinning as she realised that she'd cheered JJ up as well.

"I'm useless with girls, I don't know what to say, what to do." JJ stuttered, the only advice he had available to him was from Cook, and he wasn't completely sure that Cook was the right person for the job.

Katie mulled it over, thinking for a minute, before an idea began to formulate.

"What you need is lessons, in love, from an expert. How about I teach you JJ, I'll train you to pull a girl." Katie suggested, raising an eyebrow as she watched the look of shock register on JJ's face.

"Why... Why would you do that? What do you get out of it?" JJ stuttered, suspiciously eyeing Katie.

"You help me bring down that bitch Stonem, she'll never suspect you as being anything but innocent little JJ. She won't know what hit her." Katie hissed, grinning as she felt more pieces of her plan click together in her head, all she needed was JJ and they'd be able to do this. "What do you say J?"

JJ sat, looking slightly astonished, trying to find the words to reply. Trying to find a reply in the first place, what was he supposed to say? This was all so confusing. Opening his mouth, he started to find his answer...

"Fish fingers!" Cook shouted, slamming the tray down on the table, making both Katie and JJ jump, their conversation interrupted, for now.


	2. We All Need Someone To Stay By Our Side

**Thanks for the reviews, big hugs. Keep em coming!**

"So when did you work it out?" Emily asked with a teasing smile, collapsing back onto Naomi's bed, letting her bag fall to the floor, as she kicked off her shoes. Making herself feel right at home, because in a way this room had become home to Emily, the whole house really, felt so welcoming especially in comparison to her own.

"When fucking Doug came up to me, and told me that my fashion statements weren't appreciated in college!" Naomi growled, throwing her jacket at Emily, as Emily burst into laughter at the thought.

"What did you say?" Emily managed to ask, though her laughter which was shaking her entire body, her face screwed up in a way that Naomi thought was so adorable.

"What could I say? I could hardly tell him that the reason my shirt was open, was because my horny girlfriend had been unbuttoning it in the toilets! I just apologised and did it back up!" Naomi sighed, the corners of her mouth twitching, Emily's laughter was infectious, and soon Naomi was joining in. Diving on the bed to silence Emily with a kiss. "I can't believe you didn't tell me... Bitch!"

Emily gasped, her jaw dropping in mock shock, as she narrowed her eyes, pretending to be upset, she refused to meet Naomi's lips. Her head jolting from side to side as she avoided Naomi who seemed set on her target.

"Fine... If you feel like that, I'll go!" Emily huffed, pulling herself out from Naomi's grip. It unwittingly brought up all sorts of memories, from when Emily walked away before, it made Naomi's heart race even though she knew Emily was only joking.

"Oy! You're not going anywhere." Naomi cried, diving on top of Emily, who was still refusing to meet Naomi's eyes. Naomi felt safer with Emily pinned to the bed, knew she couldn't leave her if Naomi stayed in control.

"You're going to have to make it up to me" Emily muttered, grudgingly breaking into a smile, she couldn't help it when Naomi was practically straddling her.

"Hows this?" Naomi asked leaning down to kiss her, gently taking Emily's lips and caressing them with her own. Pulling away reluctantly, looking for a reaction from Emily. Naomi let her hand work its way up and down Emily's arm, lightly grazing it with her fingertips, an action she knew would drive Emily insane.

"A little better" Emily gasped, the softest of touches sending her desire into overdrive, a whole week without being together really had taken its toll on both of them, and just the simplest of actions with the caressing, was enough to almost send Emily over the edge,

"How about this?" Naomi asked, removing her top, flinging it to the floor, staring down at Emily with a smug grin.

"I'd say Doug wouldn't approve" Emily teased, her voice husky with desire, as Naomi ran her hands up and down Emily's body.

"Twat... I love you." Naomi laughed, realising she would never live down the Doug moment, but she could certainly forget about it as Emily finally began to respond to her kisses.

**

"Please explain to me exactly how this is going to work?" JJ asked, over the phone, to Katie. JJ sat, cross legged on his floor waiting for a response, unaware that Katie was sat at home in exactly the same position.

"Pick a girl, I'll make sure you get her. Be realistic though J, no fucking supermodels." Katie sighed, filing her nails because she had nothing better to do, these nights that Emily spent at Naomi's (always with an excuse, that she was at Panda's or some other friends, because Jenna would go insane if she knew the truth) left Katie feeling pretty lonely.

"Oh well, I'm not sure really Katie. Why don't you choose someone for me?" JJ stuttered shyly, he couldn't quite imagine choosing a girl to set his sights on, he much preferred just being told what to do.

"Oh Christ, do you have to be so fucking indecisive?" Katie groaned, shuffling over to her chest of drawers, searching for their year picture, finally locating it she scanned the rows looking for a potential girl. "There's not a great selection here J... Hang on, who's she? She's like blonde, tall and kind of pretty."

"I can't see the photo remember Katie, we're talking on the phone." JJ reminded her, trying to think of who Katie could be talking about.

"Fuck off smartarse, get your year picture out." Katie snapped, really wishing she'd chosen someone else to help her, because quite frankly a rock would be of more use to her than bloody JJ.

JJ scratched his head, hunting around his room trying to find it, he was pretty sure he'd thrown in somewhere in the midst of a rage incident, and sure enough he found it slightly screwed up, under his desk.

"Two rows down, a couple of seats along from Cook." Katie explained, her finger resting on the girls face, as she tried her hardest to work out who this girl was.

"She's pretty... She's in my maths class." JJ beamed, glad that Katie had picked someone he could actually see himself talking to.

"So she's a geek." Katie laughed, the girl didn't look like a geek but it took all sorts she supposed. Moving her attention back to filing her nails.

"Taking maths doesn't make you a geek." JJ huffed, feeling quite defensive about his favourite subject.

"Course not." Katie replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes before continuing. "Anyway J, she's our girl, we need to meet up tomorrow and talk tactics. Can I come to yours?"

"Sure." JJ squeaked, not quite sure how his mother would react to him having yet another Fitch round, there was also something rather terrifying about spending time with Katie. Plus there was the little issue of JJ's part of the bargain, he decided to broach it. "So what about Effy? What do I have to do?"

"Be nice to her." Katie replied simply, wishing she didn't have all the rage bubbling inside of her, burning her and making her want revenge so badly.

"Nice?" JJ asked slightly confused, there had to be more to it than just being nice.

"For now, just be nice. She needs a friend, so be one." Katie insisted, knowing the only way to break Effy Stonem was to lead her into a false sense of security first. Katie's plan was vicious, but no more vicious than caving a head in with a rock, and then fucking your victims boyfriend.

JJ nodded, before reminding himself that he was on the phone, and muttered a strangled yes instead. He wished he wasn't so desperate for Katie's help, but he needed something, anything to get thoughts of Emily out of his head.

_JJ loves Emily, Emily likes JJ, Emily loves Naomi... Forever._

**

It was the safest place in the world, Emily thought, right here in Naomi's arms. Her heart was racing, because truely she couldn't understand how she got this lucky, how all her dreams came true, that Naomi loved her back.

"You okay Ems?" Naomi asked, placing a chaste kiss on Emily's neck. It was a strange tradition, the pair of them always searching for reassurance from each other, despite their bodies making it perfectly clear that they were both more than happy with the physical side of their relationship, it still felt nice to check.

"Always." Emily replied, burying herself into Naomi, getting as close to her as possible, relishing this moment, because it would be another week or so, before Emily could fob her mother off with excuses of staying round friends houses.

"I wish we could just stop time, I wish I could have this every night." Naomi sighed, hating that their relationship was still this big secret, because of Emily's ridiculous parents. The tentative step Emily had made at emerging from the closet had been halted by her parents, they'd chucked her back in there and nailed the fucking door shut.

"It's just another year Nai, one more year of being patient and then we can have everything." Emily promised, kissing Naomi's hand. She could feel Naomi pull away, she could feel the atmosphere of the room changing almost immediately.

"You asked me to be brave Ems, and I did. Now its your turn, I don't want to hide who I am or what we are. Your parents will just have to deal with it." Naomi stressed, pulling herself up she leaned on her elbow, her eyes focused on Emily.

"It's not that simple." Emily insisted, turning on her side, burying her head into the pillow because looking at Naomi was killing her. She wanted to be brave, she didn't want to hide, but she didn't want to lose her family either.

"I know your mums a scary bitch, I've met her remember? But she'll never be able to get used to it if you don't tell her, or try talking to your dad? Maybe he'll be better at understanding, and then he can talk to your mum for you." Naomi suggested, pulling herself close to Emily, because she missed the warmth of being near to her.

"I'm scared, I'm scared she'll keep me from you, I can't do it Nai, I can't be apart from you." Emily began to cry, Naomi's grip tightening in response, almost feeling guilty for pressing the subject so hard, even though she knew it needed to be done.

"We're in a mess..." Naomi sighed, kissing Emily's cheek. "But they'll never keep us apart."


	3. They Wont Let Me Turn Around

**You might have noticed i've changed the description, and also the primary coupling. This was supposed to be a Jatie story with a Naomily side story, however i'm three chapter in and this is quite clearly a Naomily story with a Jatie side, so thought i'd adjust it! Bit of a long chapter. Thanks for the reviews guys, they mean a lot!**

Katie was almost glad she had the distraction of her meeting with JJ. He'd greeted her with a warm smile, and taken her to his room, a room that was so perfectly JJ, Katie thought with a smile.

"I've been talking to people, her name's Jodi, she's in your maths class, she's also in English apparently though I've never bloody seen her before. She used to go out with that Tom guy, who was in the year above, but you're hotter than him so this should work." Katie explained, laid out on JJ's bed.

JJ couldn't help but be reminded of her twin sister in exactly the same position. It made his stomach flutter, he hated it, he hated feeling out of control.

"Right." JJ blushed, because frankly that was the most he could verbalise at the moment, it was a little overwhelming, picking a girl to seduce or whatever Katie had planned.

"Well, I was thinking we get her to come to Freddie's party, I'll invite her, she'll love it, some cool girl like me befriending her. Then at the party you talk to her okay?" Katie smiled, quite enjoying planning this all out, it distracted her from things in her own life.

"You're going to Freddie's party? But what about..." JJ stuttered, not sure whether he could safely mention the 'E' word.

"J, I'm going to fucking destroy her, but she can't see it coming. In fact if she thinks all is forgiven then I reckon this will be a lot more fun." Katie laughed wickedly, noticing however that JJ wasn't smiling, it made her feel slightly ashamed, she tried to ignore it, why the fuck should she care what JJ thinks of her?

"Don't you think you're letting yourself get too worked up about this? Do you even have a plan Katie?" JJ asked, a slight fear in his voice, as he noticed the glare that Katie was giving him.

"Shut up! I need this, and you need me, or are you going to spend your time drooling over my dyke sister?" Katie snapped, immediately regretting how harsh her words sounded, and for calling Emily a name she had vowed not to use, in her quest to be a supportive sister,

"Why do you always have to be so cruel to people Katie?" JJ asked, leaning back against his wall, which had changed a lot, tracking the multitude of changes to relationship in the gang.

"People screw you over J. You need to get in there first and hurt them instead." Katie replied emotionlessly, her hand unconsciously rising to meet the raised scar that ran along her hairline.

"Not everyone wants to screw you over Katie." JJ smiled, lifting Katie's legs so he could sit down on the bed placing them back down so they rested on him. Katie was surprised by the action, but didn't move, they were oddly comfortable in each others company, an odd friendship developing in the silence. "Tell me some more about Jodi..." JJ smiled at Katie.

**

"You even look beautiful when you're cleaning your teeth, you know that right?" Naomi smiled, wrapping her arms round Emily from behind. Nuzzling into Emily's neck, pulling away only when Emily had to spit.

"It's because I'm minty fresh!" Emily winked, causing Naomi to giggle at just how cute her girlfriend could be, pulling her close, Naomi leaned in to kiss her.

"Hmm maybe I should try some of that." Naomi muttered, as she kissed Emily, a deep and longing kiss, the perfect way to start the day. "Very minty fresh."

Emily nodded, laughing at Naomi's expression, before taking her hand and leading her back to the bedroom. Mornings with Naomi were definitely the best.

**

Katie was laid out on her bed lazily, having arrived home, she'd had a good time with JJ. He'd made her laugh, kept her mind off Effy. She'd spent most of the time instructing him on things to say or not to say in front of a girl. He'd tried out some cheesy chat up lines, the pair of them having a giggling fit at some of the worst ones. It had almost been sad to go home.

"Katie will you please get yourself ready, and Emily better be awake and getting ready as well! I want to leave this house promptly at ten! No arguments!" Jenna called up the stairs, interrupting Katie from her thoughts. She was insisting on visiting some relative, intent on bringing both her daughters with her, unaware that one of them was currently in the bed of another girl.

Katie panicked, trying to think on the spot of an excuse for where Emily was. She had meant to tell her mother the day before that Emily was at a study/sleepover session. But somehow neither of her parents had realised that Emily was missing, so Katie had just let it be. Now she needed to find a way to stall her mother, give Emily a chance to get home.

"She stayed at Panda's last night mum, remember? They're working on that English project together." Katie called back, hoping her mother would let it drop, especially considering the emphasis Katie had put on the educational aspect of where Emily supposedly was.

"What! But you're both supposed to be coming with me! I've promised Miriam!" Jenna snapped, stomping up the stairs, Katie prepared herself for the inevitable onslaught. Sighing, she tapped out a quick message to Emily, urging her to hurry up and get home.

"Sorry mum, she really wants to get a good mark on it though. I can go with you to Miriam's." Katie assured, even though she detested going to her great aunt's house with a passion.

"No. I promised her you'd both be coming, it's fine we can drive to Pandora's house and pick Emily up on the way." Jenna decided, sauntering off to get herself ready, leaving a horrified looking Katie to desperately sort out the disaster that was waiting to happen.

"Emily you complete and utter twat, if you can remove yourself from Naomi's minge for all of five minutes, then I'd really appreciate it if you could answer your fucking phone! Mum is going to Panda's to pick you up, but you won't be there! You need to be there Ems, get there now!!" Katie hissed down the phone

**

"Do you think we'll ever get bored of this?" Emily sighed, wrapping Naomi's arms around her, the pair of them laid together, heartbeats gradually returning to a normal rate.

"Emily, you have the sex drive of a 15 year old boy. Do you ever envision yourself getting bored of sex?" Naomi laughed, kissing Emily's forehead affectionately. "You're not getting bored of... I mean..." Naomi suddenly stuttered, panicking that maybe this was Emily's subtle way of suggesting that everything was far from alright in the bedroom department.

"Oh god... No shit, I didn't mean that. Fuck Naomi you're incredible, you've got to know that right?" Emily quickly added, turning and kissing Naomi fully, confirming that she was more than satisfied.

"Well, you make enough noise to suggest so." Naomi laughed, feeling reassured as Emily went in for a second kiss, this time bringing her tongue to meet Naomi's, the kiss turning more passionate, before they calmed themselves in some kind of attempt to show self restraint.

"I just meant this. This feeling, this perfectness... I don't want you to get bored of me Naomi." Emily explained, putting particular emphasis on the 'me' part of the sentence. Emily looked scared for a second, looking at Naomi with such a want, such a need.

"Emily what is up at the moment? I thought we'd got past all this doubt shit?" Naomi questioned, placing tiny, fluttering kisses all over Emily. Pulling herself even closer to Emily, there wasn't even the slightest space between them, they'd merged as one, their hearts beating perfectly in sync.

"Sometimes I think I love you too much." Emily whispered, a slight fear in her voice as she clutched Naomi's hand, as if to steady herself.

"Not as much as I love you." Naomi insisted, silencing Emily with a firm kiss. Her mind in overdrive as she tried to decipher Emily's strange behaviour.

**

"Fucking fuck. Just fuck, you stupid... Answer your fucking phone!" Katie yelled into her phone, leaving Emily her tenth message. It was getting a little too late now, soon Katie was going to have to get in the car with her mother, and then what? They go to Panda's and Emily won't be there, this was far too impossible.

"Katie come on! Hurry up will you, we need to get Emily." Jenna yelled, Katie trudged down the stairs. Still searching her brain for a plan, but finding nothing at all. It was weird, this overwhelming desire to protect her sister, but she was desperate to do so.

"Mum, Emily's not actually at Panda's anymore... See she stayed there last night but now she's gone to another friends house." Katie rushed, realising just how crap the excuse sounded, but desperate times were calling for desperate measures.

"Which friend? I can go and pick her up from wherever she is." Jenna insisted, hurrying her things together, pausing slightly as a chilling thought ran over her. She looked at Katie, watching her daughter carefully.

"I don't know where this friend lives." Katie insisted, squirming under her mothers glare.

"She's with that girl." Jenna stated simply, clenching a fist. Knowing that Katie couldn't lie under pressure, her face gave it away almost immediately.

"Mum please leave it, Ems is happy, please leave it." Katie insisted, tugging on her mothers arm. "Come on mum, you and me can go to Miriam's, then we can talk about this with Emily later. Please mum."

"We're going to pick Emily up." Jenna spat through gritted teeth.

**

Naomi and Emily were in decent attire for once, normally they'd lay unclothed for hours, but almost as if they'd had some kind of premonition about what was about to happen, they'd put t-shirts on.

The booming knock on the door sent a chill down Emily's spine, jumping up and out of Naomi's arms, she moved over to the window, peering out to see Katie looking up at her regretfully. She motioned for Emily to check her phone, Emily grabbed it from the corner of the floor it had been flung to last night. Jaw dropping at the missed calls and numerous messages. Naomi got up, looking out the window to see what was going on, cursing when she spotted Jenna and Katie at the front door, her own mother stood talking to them.

"Mum will deal with her Ems, it'll be fine I promise. Why don't you pop a few more clothes on, we don't want to give her anything else to kick off about." Naomi soothed, trying to bring some kind of control to the situation, gently rubbing Emily's back as the door to Naomi's bedroom flew open.

"Get your hands off my daughter now! I thought I warned you to stay away from her!" Jenna spat, viciously pulling Emily towards her. Katie shot an apologetic look to Emily, but Emily knew it wasn't her sisters fault. Naomi stood awkwardly, wishing her t-shirt was longer, she pulled it down self-consciously.

"Can we just talk about this please. There's no need for all this anger and aggression, clearly Emily was wrong for not letting you now where she was staying, but really the girls aren't doing anything wrong." Gina piped up, trying to provide some kind of voice of reason.

Jenna let her eyes roam around Naomi's bedroom, the sight of her daughters clothes and underwear strewn across the floor, served to enrage her even further. The framed picture of Naomi and Emily together, Naomi placing a kiss of Emily's cheek, that sat on Naomi's bedside table, drove Jenna so completely insane. She turned and walked towards the door.

"This isn't right, this will never be right. Emily you have five minutes to get dressed and get in the car." Jenna grunted, making her way out of the house.

"Well hang on a minute, Mrs. Fitch maybe we can speak about this, our daughters are in a relationship..." Gina called after her, before Jenna stopped in her tracks, cutting Gina dead.

"My daughter will be having nothing to do with your daughter. You might think it's okay, your child taking advantage of another, but I certainly do not. Emily isn't gay, she's simply been brainwashed by this.... Hippie commune!" Jenna snapped, marching out the front door, sitting in the car waiting for her daughters to join her.

"Shit Emily, I'm sorry." Katie apologised, even though there was nothing she could have done, she couldn't help but feel guilty. Naomi and Emily looked devastated, Emily looked completely deflated, like there wasn't even the tiniest bit of fight in her.

"What the fuck Katie? Why didn't you stop her?" Naomi yelled, trying to take Emily's hand, a chill shooting down her spine as Emily moved her hand away.

"I tried to call you! I tried to call Emily and she didn't fucking answer, this isn't my fault Naomi!" Katie shouted back, moving towards Naomi, the two started squaring up, all the tension of the situation getting too much for them.

"Will you two stop it, I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to get dressed." Emily suddenly croaked, her voice emotionlessly cold. Her body rigidly collecting her clothes from Naomi's floor, moving off towards the bathroom.

"Emily, you're not seriously going with her?" Naomi asked, shocked that Emily would even consider giving in, she couldn't leave, that would mean that Jenna had won.

"Emily don't, I'll get mum to leave, stay here with Nai." Katie insisted, backing Naomi up, the two shared a grateful smile, despite almost ripping each others heads off minutes previous.

"I'm going to get dressed." Emily repeated, in the same cold tone from before. Katie suspected Emily was simply shutting down to stop herself from breaking down, she wanted to hug her sister, but Emily walked away leaving Naomi and Katie alone.

"What the fuck are we going to do?" Naomi asked Katie, Katie wrapping her arm awkwardly round Naomi.

"I'll fix this, I promise." Katie insisted, the photo from earlier, catching Katie's eye. Her sister looked so happy, so carefree, and Naomi looked so completely in love with her. Katie wasn't exactly a romantic, but there was no way she was going to let this fall apart.

It wasn't long before Emily was ready, grabbing her bag and heading for the door. Naomi following like a lost puppy, Katie trailing behind, as the three girls made their way down the stairs. Gina stood in the kitchen, watching the scene playing out in front of her, knowing that Naomi would need a hug the second Emily left the house.

"Remember I love you, whatever happens." Emily suddenly turned and insisted, letting her bag drop, she placed her hands on Naomi's shoulders, her previously emotionless voice cracking to reveal just how upset she really was.

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" Naomi asked, trying to control her own tears, grabbing Emily, bringing their foreheads together.

"Tell me you love me." Emily begged in a quiet voice, her grip on Naomi tightening. Katie standing back, almost feeling like she would start crying herself at what was happening.

"If I do you'll leave." Naomi muttered, shaking her head. Positioning herself in front of the front door, to block Emily from leaving.

"I'm leaving anyway." Emily managed a weak smile, her eyes begging Naomi just to give her what she was asking for.

"Don't give up, not without a fucking fight Emily, you're better than this. We're better than this." Naomi snapped, feeling rage building up inside her, directing at Emily but wishing she could go outside and point it all at Jenna.

"Tell me you love me." Emily repeated, her voice more than begging now. She needed this so much.

"You know I do." Naomi sniffed, a tear falling down her cheek, Naomi tried to pretend she wasn't crying but it was pointless hiding anything from Emily, she simply knew her far too well.

"So say it." Emily demanded, her hands stroking Naomi's cheeks, her touch driving Naomi insane.

"You're my everything. I love you." Naomi promised, kissing Emily hungrily, a kiss that was so utterly desperate, there was an intensity that had never been present before. Emily's tongue tracing the inside of Naomi's mouth, as if making a mental record of every single detail. A memory.


	4. The Carelessness Of Running Away

"I can't stop you seeing her at school, but you'll hopefully respect the fact that I want you absolutely nowhere near that girl, and avoid her at all costs. I can't really have you moving schools, I won't let her mess up your education, like she has the rest of your life. But my girl I promise, you have broken my trust, your life outside of school is regimented by me!" Jenna explained, they were in the car, Emily and Katie sat in the back, Katie gently squeezing her sisters hand.

"What exactly is she being punished for here?" Katie snapped, despite Emily's eyes pleading for her to drop it. Katie was feeling fiercely protective over her sister.

"You know." Jenna replied simply, continuing to drive, telling herself that everything was going to be alright now. This 'problem' was going to go away, it was what a good mother would do, wasn't it?

"I know. I'm just not sure I understand! When was I ever punished for seeing someone? You didn't lock me up when I was seeing Danny, or Freddie. Why is Emily different?" Katie challenged, surprising even Emily with the defense she was putting up.

"If Emily wants to see a nice boy like Daniel or Frederick then that's fine." Jenna sighed, disappointed in the lack of support she was receiving from Katie, when Katie had tried to convince her that Emily was lying about this thing with Naomi, Jenna had assumed that her daughter was just as opposed as she was. Something had changed, over the summer, Katie and Emily had grown closer, under any other circumstance Jenna would have been delighted, but she didn't want them bonding over something that wasn't real.

"Why is it fine? Emily's gay, she's not going to be getting with a guy." Katie answered back, her mothers ignorance really beginning to irritate her, it made her feel guilty that at one time she sounded just like this.

"Emily is NOT gay, none of my children are gay." Jenna insisted, banging the steering wheel as she did so, as if to emphasise her point.

"James is always hanging around with that Gordon McPherson kid, maybe he's gay." Katie muttered, cracking a smile as she did so. Emily couldn't help but snigger, it was the first time she'd smiled since leaving Naomi's.

"Katie don't cause trouble." Jenna scolded, looking up into the rearview mirror, shooting Katie a look of distaste, before looking uncomfortably at Emily, her tearstained cheeks and lost expression. Jenna almost felt bad, almost.

"I'm fucking not. All i'm saying is that Emily and Naomi, they're good for each other, they love each other." Katie defended, her words really surprising Emily now, she was so strong and determined, everything Emily wished she could be right now.

"This subject is being dropped, here and now. Katie I would have expected better from you, Emily's naive she can't help that she was sucked in by that girl, but you I expected you to at least have attempted to protect your sister. Now will you two get your acts together, we'll be at Miriam's soon." Jenna instructed, with a finality that told them this conversation was over, now they were expected to go and play happy families, pretend that everything was fine.

"Fuck this." Katie muttered to Emily. Fighting the desire to start a full on argument with her mother.

"Play nice Katie." Emily smiled weakly, leaning into her twin, relishing the warmth and support, but at the same time wishing that it was Naomi there.

"Not a chance." Katie grinned wickedly, intent on making this trip as awkward as possible, she was determined to show her mother up at every available opportunity.

**

JJ sat watching her, not in a creepy way, just in a 'i'm too shy to actually go and talk to her' kind of way. She was sat on a park bench, strange coincidence that he's chosen to go there for a walk, reading a book that she looked utterly engrossed in. He knew he was supposed to wait for the party to go and introduce himself, but this seemed like quite a good opportunity, without all the alcohol and craziness that a party provided.

"Hello" he muttered gently, with a small wave, that distracted her from her book, long enough to register who was standing in front of her.

"Oh... Hi, it's JJ right?" Jodi smiled, she had a warm smile that immediately put JJ at ease, she picked up a bookmark, placing it in between the pages to hold her place, dedicating her full attention to JJ.

"Yes, and you're Jodi. You're in my maths class." JJ explained, rubbing his hands together nervously, before realising that looked a little creepy, and instead holding them at his sides.

"Yes, and English." Jodi nodded, biting her bottom lip, she was fairly certain that JJ was flirting with her, and she kind of liked it, she liked the cute nervousness.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" JJ asked in a sudden surge of confidence, wishing that Katie had told him exactly what he was supposed to say, once he'd got himself into a situation such as this.

"Of course not." Jodi replied, patting the space next to her on the bench, smiling as JJ sat down next to her.

**

"Ooh I can never tell which of you girls is which, such pretty girls." The twins great aunt Miriam smiled, pouring tea for them, distributing biscuits as she moved around the three Fitch women.

"Yeah we like to play it to our advantage, helps us swap sexual partners, never get bored if you've got them on a constant loop." Katie replied, hardly missing a beat, which made Emily almost choke on her tea, and Jenna begin to hyperventilate on the spot.

"Sorry dear, i'm a little deaf what was that?" Miriam asked, moving closer to Katie, completely unaware of what Katie had said, despite the look of horror on Jenna's face.

"Oh I just said that i'm Katie, Auntie Miriam." Katie smiled sweetly, chewing on her biscuit, whilst Jenna sent her a fierce glare.

"Delightful dear, so that makes you Emily... Now Emily, would you like a finger or two?" Miriam asked, innocently referring to the box of Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers she held her hands.

"Emily's a bit greedy Miriam, I heard she likes three..." Katie trailed, shooting a wicked glance at her mother, who dropped her cup of tea in shock.

"Really Jenna! Your two lovely girls can behave but you can't, I'll have to get a cloth to clean that up." Miriam scolded, waddling off into the kitchen, leaving Emily and Katie to simply smile innocently at their mother.

**

The fun that Katie and Emily had at Miriam's, probably on reflection, wasn't worth it. Jenna had been beyond fuming, and if she wasn't certain about Emily's complete social ban before this, she was now. The night had been difficult, and the two sisters had sat up most of it talking, Katie coming up with numerous schemes, whilst Emily sat desperately trying to ignore her phone which had been buzzing constantly with calls and texts, all from the person she just couldn't face.

The next morning, Emily had woken up feeling utterly deflated, the texts had stopped around four in the morning, Naomi finally giving in to sleep. Emily sighed and trudged downstairs, only for her mother to instruct her that she was to stay in the house the entire day, and that she would be at work, but James would be around and he would phone her the second Emily even attempted to leave.

Emily flicked through daytime television, finding it impossible to settle on anything that didn't remind her of Naomi, who'd have been throwing insults at whatever stupid show it was, criticising it or simply laughing at how ridiculous it was. Eventually Emily had turned the television off, instead succumbing to tiredness, right there on the sofa. Not even waking when the doorbell rang.

**

Katie was almost glad that Emily had awoken, letting JJ in quietly, Katie sneaked him upstairs. Emily would ask too many questions, she wouldn't understand. Katie watched JJ staring at Emily, sleeping on the sofa and felt her insides clench, a feeling she didn't quite understand and passed as quickly as it came about. The minute they were safely in the comfort of Katie and Emily's room, JJ had explained about his meeting with Jodi. Causing Katie to decide to move onto a later stage in her lessons of love.

"Katie I've had sex." JJ sighed, at the suggestion of Katie's sex education lessons, slightly nervous what they would involve. He didn't really think he needed much help in THAT department anyway, it was the actual talking to girls that baffled him.

"You've had sex with a lesbian, that's not going to teach you anything... She was hardly into it was she? Probably thinking of Naomi the whole time." Katie dismissed, rolling her eyes at the hurt look that registered on JJ's face the second she said it. Fuck it was like kicking a puppy, Katie thought shaking her head.

"Thanks for that." JJ grunted, examining the two different sides to this bedroom, that called out the two personalities of the twins. Katie's wild, untidy and glamourous. Emily's refined, beautiful and well... Gay.

"Reality J, it's important yeah?" Katie sighed, arranging herself in her top so that her tits looked fabulous, smugly satisfied as she noticed she's grabbed JJ's attention.

"Right." JJ coughed, slightly embarrassed that he couldn't take his eyes off Katie. Not when she was doing that.

"So lay back." Katie instructed, as nonchalantly as if she was doctor instructing her patient, JJ half expected her to pull out the latex gloves.

"We're not going to..." JJ stuttered, bloody hell what was it with these Fitch girls and educational pity sex? Trying to mentally decide whether or not it would be a good idea, slightly relieved, when Katie's expression showed, that sleeping with him was not a part of the plan.

"Oh god no! Of course we're not! This is educational not pornographical!" Katie rushed, blushing red at the thought, laughing at the embarrassed look that passed between them.

"Pornographical isn't a word... It's pornographic." JJ corrected, trying to make the situation slightly less awkward, as he kicked off his shoes and sat down on the bed.

"Shut up JJ. Now lay back... This is like... A simulation. Right so I don't know how confident she is in the bedroom, she might not have a clue, in which case you'll have to take control. But then again the quiet ones can sometimes be a little wild, so she might like to get on top." Katie explained, sitting herself on JJ's lap, a leg either side as she straddled him.

"Crikey." JJ choked, suddenly aware of the pressure on his lap, he was suddenly trying very hard to think of the least sexy thoughts he could.

"Don't you dare get a hard on." Katie warned, glaring at JJ.

"I'll try not to." JJ murmured, blinking as he tried to regain his composure, and steady his nerves.

"Good... Ok, well give me your hands... Yep right there." Katie smiled, guiding JJ's hands to her cleavage, relishing just how uncomfortable she was making him feel at this moment. Shuddering slightly at the feeling of human contact, it had been a long time...

"Katie those are your breasts." JJ pointed out, his voice cracking, as he rested his hands nervously on Katie's chest.

"I know that, now concentrate... Can you like squeeze them or something, don't just fucking hold them." Katie demanded, rolling her eyes at JJ's obvious inexperience, no wonder her sister was a lesbian if this was her only sexual experience with a guy.

"This all feels a bit weird." JJ admitted, still hovering nervously, as if doing anything would be crossing a boundary.

"You want to get her in the mood right?? Now do it!" Katie snapped, giving JJ such a fierce stare that he felt instantly compelled to do exactly what she said.

"Okay, okay... Hows that?" JJ asked, groping tentatively, responding to Katie's movements.

"Yeah that's not bad actually, so she's getting turned on and there will probably be kissing, we can leave that out though." Katie explained, because kissing JJ would be just a little too weird, too intimate, probably nice... Shit! Where did that thought come from, Katie asked herself, shaking her head and getting back to the situation in hand.

"So breast fondling is an acceptable part of our friendship, but kissings a step too far?" JJ asked, slightly bemused by Katie and her educational lessons. Though admittedly he was learning at thing or two.

"Pretty much... Anyway back to this. You're kissing, groping, yeah and then she'll start getting turned on." Katie smiled, ignoring the fact that she was the one getting a little turned on.

"What if she doesn't?" JJ asked suddenly, interrupting Katie's chain of thought with his weird pragmatism.

"Oh fucking hell J, have a bit of faith in yourself. If you're all tense and scared she'll feel it to, enjoy yourself and she will." Katie sighed, these lessons were definitely essential, there was no way he was going to get a girl like this.

"Right... So now what?" JJ asked, stopping his hands moving on Katie's breasts, as he tried to work out how to logically get from one stage to another.

"Now she'll be all FUCK ME GEEK!" Katie suddenly called, playfully rocking on top of JJ as she burst into giggles, JJ joining in until a sniggering stopped them in their tracks.

"Woah shit Gordon look! Fucking!" James's voice suddenly interrupted, scaring JJ so much that he threw Katie back with a force that sent her flying off the bed and into a heap on the floor.

"Worm!" Katie yelled, pulling herself up and darting towards the bedroom door where her little brother and his best friend were laughing. Giving James a death stare, Katie slammed the bedroom door shut before turning back to a guilty looking JJ.

"Sorry Katie." JJ blushed, noticing Katie's slight limp, from where she'd fallen on her leg.

"You're actually useless, you know that right?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes and rubbing her leg, soothing where she'd fallen.

"Well, I wasn't expecting any interruptions." JJ stuttered in his defense, sure that he could still hear Katie's little brother, sniggering behind the door.

"Always expect the unexpected JJ, now where were we...?" Katie winked, moving back over to a terrified looking JJ.

**

Emily couldn't quite work out what had woken her up, it was possibly the loud banging upstairs from the bedroom door being slammed, or the argument that Katie appeared to be having with James. Or it could be the knock at the front door... Shit someone was knocking at the front door, Emily registered, pulling herself and opening it, stepping back slightly when she saw the familiar blonde standing before her. Beautiful as always, she took her breath away.

"What are you doing here? Naomi you can't be here." Emily rushed, she wished she had said something else though, something that didn't seem like a rejection, something that wasn't hurting Naomi.

"Your mums at work right?" Naomi challenged, grabbing hold of Emily's hand, her eyes meeting Emily's, pleading her to just let her stay.

"Yes but... That's not the point, you can't be anywhere near this house, or me." Emily replied, her voice choking on the emotion of the situation, but trying to remain strong and determined, family complications were making this too hard.

"If that your way of breaking up with me?" Naomi snapped aggressively, watching as Emily mulled over the statement, the hesitation made Naomi rip her hand back, she couldn't believe after everything they had gone through the past year that now, when it was so perfect, Emily was going to let go.

"Please don't get angry at me." Emily begged, her big brown eyes melting Naomi's heart and hostility, she hated the power Emily had over her.

"Fuck Emily, if you want out then don't be a fucking coward about it. Or are just pulling away enough so that you think I'll do it? Because I won't Ems, i'll never give up on us." Naomi shouted, furious at the position Emily was trying to put her in.

"Shit will you just come inside, fucking neighbours will tell mum." Emily sighed, grabbing hold of Naomi's hands and dragging her inside. The two girls now opposite each other in the hallway, too close to not be distracting.

"Give me an explanation" Naomi demanded, moving a step closer towards Emily, before feeling herself pushed backwards, as Emily grabbed hold of her and began furiously kissing her. Nipping at Naomi's bottom lip, she unleashed all the bottled up rage that should have been directed at her mother, on Naomi who pulled back.

"That's not an explanation" Naomi shook her head, bring her fingers up to her swollen lips, trying to fight the desire to just take Emily and hold her in her arms, because right now she just looked so fucking precious.

"Can you tell me what I can do? Seriously, my mum has me under lock and key!" Emily snapped, trying to fight the tears that were building, stinging her eyes.

"Leave." Naomi replied simply, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Oh right, go live on the street next to that fucking tramp that camps out near college shall I? Ask to share his cardboard box?" Emily muttered sarcastically, glaring at Naomi for simplifying something that just couldn't be simplified, because it was fucked up.

"Move in with me." Naomi suddenly blurted out, an idea that she'd been thinking over all night, and only now had gotten the confidence to voice. It was the perfect solution, they could be together, away from Emily's family.

"Don't be stupid Naomi." Emily dismissed, not even taking the suggestion seriously, they'd only been together a few months, they were still in school, and Naomi was wanting them to live together.

"I'm not! My mother let 15 strangers live in our house, you really think she wouldn't have you, who she loves, there? We don't even have to share a room, if that helps?" Naomi explained, nervously trying to convince Emily that this was right for them.

"You're asking me to walk away from my family?" Emily asked, a little astonished that this was even a possibility.

"I thought I was your family?" Naomi challenged, chewing on her bottom lip in a way she knew would drive Emily insane. Here she was, heart on her sleeve and there was Emily, not even giving this a chance.

"Naomi... How can I do this?" Emily asked timidly, scared she grabbed hold of Naomi, holding on to the comforting presence of the taller girl, who supported her.

"Easy, you move out, you show them that you're serious. That you can't be manipulated, that you are who you are and nothing they say or do can change that. You're gay Emily, you have a girlfriend, you have a box of porn, we can't watch a single television programme without you spotting some girl that makes you wet your knickers!" Naomi smiled, trying to lighten the mood with a joke, tightening her grip on Emily to show she was serious.

"Fuck off." Emily giggled, letting herself nuzzle into Naomi's neck, a place she felt so safe, so comfortable. A place she didn't want to ever leave.

"Emily i'm serious, what are you going to do? Stay here and hope to God you straighten out?" Naomi sighed, kissing the top of Emily's head, a gentle action, an action that showed just how in love these two were, which only served to make this moment even more painful.

"I don't know, I don't know what i'm going to do, try to get them used to the idea, slowly." Emily muttered, hovering on the word 'slowly', because slowly to Naomi meant not thrusting a girlfriend in their faces.

"Where do I figure in all of this?" Naomi asked, slightly terrified at the answer. Silenced by Emily kissing her again, just as rough as before, Emily's hands groping at Naomi's t-shirt, cupping a breast with fierce determination, moving to kiss Naomi's neck, marking the skin as if to brand her as her own.

"I love you." Emily groaned against Naomi's neck, hands trailing her back, gripping on tightly.

"But you can't do this?" Naomi whispered, pulling her head back to catch Emily's response. The gently shake from Emily's head saying it all, as Naomi pulled herself away, ripping her body from Emily's she walked out the door... She'd barely got down the road before the sobs started to wrack her body, punishing her for letting herself fall in love in the first place.


	5. I Still Do Feel So Horribly Lonely

**Sorry it's been a couple of days, this story is a lot harder to write than my last one, I tend to go over things a lot more and think more about it. That might be a good thing, or a bad thing, i'll let you guys decide. As always thanks for the reviews, they are absolute love. Or even if you're just reading, thank you. This is one of my favourite chapters Naomi=Love.**

It should have been awkward, but it wasn't, because for some unknown reason JJ and Katie had forged a friendship. Katie's lessons were strange, unorthodox, slightly graphic, inappropriate... Fun, and as they laid out on Katie's bed, top to tail, telling stories, it only felt like their bond was getting stronger. Katie liked that he listened, JJ liked that she laughed at his jokes, it was a friendship that had emerged from nowhere, but neither could see them turning back now.

The gentle banter was only interrupted by a tentative knock on the door, lifting her head Katie spotted her brother peaking through the door, for the second time that day, and almost began to hurl a collection of abuse in his direction. Katie only paused when she examined the look on James's face, his cheeky grin had been replaced with something far more serious. Softening her glare, she indicated for James to enter the room, waiting for some kind of explanation.

"Somethings wrong with Emily." James muttered, bowing his head, which only served to confuse Katie further. "She's crying, she won't stop crying." His look of concern breaking Katie's heart, because for James to actually be worried about one of them, it must be bad.

"I'll go and check on her." Katie assured, ruffling her little brothers hair, an affectionate act to let him know that everything was alright. Even if she had now become attuned, to the tortured sobs emerging from the living room, that got louder the further down the stairs Katie got.

"K...Katie?" Emily managed, through ragged breaths, curled up in a ball on the floor. Katie was a little taken aback at the sight, not knowing what to do, other than to kneel down next to her sister and take her in her arms.

"Hey, it's ok, I'm here Emsy, I'm here, what's wrong?" Katie soothed, brushing the younger twins hair from her face, where it had stuck with her tears. Katie tightened her grip, as Emily's sobs worsened.

"I let her go." Was all Emily could manage to force out, not needing to say anything more, Katie suddenly understood

**

When her mum called her downstairs, told her that someone was at the door for her, Effy was slightly confused. It wasn't as she was Miss Popular at the moment, sighing she made her way to the front door. Strangely, she wasn't shocked to see Naomi standing there, if anything it was the only person she expected. What did shock her, however, was when Naomi practically collapsed into her arms. Effy blinked, surprised by the physical contact, but held on tightly, eventually leading Naomi inside and up to her room.

"Vodka?" Effy offered, chucking a bottle onto the bed, which Naomi greedily accepted, chugging it down with such ease you'd think it was water. "Shit calm down Nai, what's wrong? You and Emily had an argument?" It was literally the only thing Effy could think would be able to penetrate Naomi's rock solid armor, fucking love fucks you up.

"It's over." Naomi forced out, the words burning the back of her throat, or was that the vodka? She was sure if there was a distinction, she decided to drink some more, just to experiment.

"Fuck off is it, you've had a crappy row and tomorrow she'll phone you up and everything will be fine again." Effy sighed, grabbing the bottle from Naomi, drinking it down. Relishing the company, but wishing it was under better circumstances. She collapsed onto the bed next to Naomi, shifting the other girl over so they could both lay comfortably.

"I asked her to move in with me... Shit i'm a fucking idiot." Naomi muttered, mentally kicking herself, at how exposed she'd become, and how it had so epically failed. Be brave, Emily really needed to take her own advice.

"Fuck. Never thought of you as a commitment type." Effy smiled, that sort of knowing smile that made Naomi want to punch her. Passing the vodka back over to Naomi, she really needed it more that her at that moment, Effy thought.

"I'm not a commitment type, i'm a fucking loner that doesn't let anyone in. Then she comes along, she changes everything, my entire life, she make me into this... This person, and then she fucking gives up, says it's too hard, says her parents will never accept it so that's it. Game over." Naomi snapped, furiously downing the bottle, it was practically empty now, even Effy had to raise an eyebrow at that.

"Their mum is one crazy bitch, she came after me... After the incident." Effy muttered the last part, because despite everything, she was ashamed at what she'd done. It was the thing that kept her awake at night, despite all the other mistakes in her life, this was the one that scarred her.

"What when you beat the crap out of Katie and left her to die." Naomi added, biting her lip as she watched Effy flinch, perhaps this wasn't a topic they could joke about.

"Yeah thats the one." Effy smiled. She couldn't help it when she was around Naomi, they were just so uncomplicated, so alike that there was no room for bullshit.

"I silently applauded you." Naomi admitted, laughing slightly, before feeling guilty at the comment. Thinking all the time of what Emily would say if she could see her now.

"Thought you and Katiekins were besties now?" Effy asked, shoving Naomi, before going to search for cigarettes, drawing one out of the pack, lighting it and passing it to Naomi, before reaching for her own.

"Tolerated her for Ems, guess I don't have to now." Naomi sighed, she did kind of like Katie, but it wouldn't feel right now. Nothing felt right now, everything had changed, Emily had changed everything with her decision.

"Is that why we're on speaking terms again?" Effy asked, wondering why she was Naomi's first port of call, before remembering that really, there was no one else.

"I thought all our texts showed that I had no issues with you." Naomi smiled, acknowledging their secret friendship that had existed throughout everything, the texts that acted as a mutual support. The texts that neither could admit to, because they were supposed to be on different sides of the line.

"Ignoring me in public though." Effy reminded her, a slight indication of the hurt she felt when Naomi wouldn't even meet her eye, she didn't blame her, it was involuntary pain, human emotion rearing its ugly head.

"You tried to kill my girlfriends twin sister." Naomi reminded her, though dropping her hand over Effy's, a kind of apology, even though Effy didn't really deserve one.

"Ex girlfriend." Effy smirked, because being bastards to each other was fun.

"Thanks for the reminder." Naomi groaned, too drunk to get more upset about it, she was at the stage where she'd probably fall over if she stood up. Instead settling for laying her head down, trying to push thoughts of Emily away.

"Anytime." Effy muttered, dragging hard on a cigarette, blowing it out into the bedroom. Watching Naomi carefully, and wondering if she would ever love someone enough to actually hurt, to look like she was physically in pain, as Naomi was now.

"You going to Freddie's party?" Naomi grunted suddenly, lifting her head up a little too quickly, feeling dizzy before dropping it again.

"I'm supposed to be, didn't think you would though." Effy challenged, trying to imagine quite how a drunken Naomi would cope with Emily now, all she could see was disaster. If it wasn't Naomi, she'd probably quite enjoy the floor-show, but instead she felt some kind of responsibility to look after her.

"Emily is under lock and key at the moment, her mums grounded her until she straightens up, consequently she won't be there, consequently I can get really fucked up without thinking about her." Naomi explained, slurring her words slightly, the vodka fully taking control. She stood up, stumbling over to Effy's stereo, finding the CD she wanted to listen to.

"Could you get anymore depressing?" Effy sighed, smiling at Naomi's choice of music.

"Dance. Dress. Party." Naomi demanded, swinging her hips badly out of time with the music. _"I just wanna say, I haven't been away."_

**

JJ was still sat on Katie's bed, awkwardly waiting for her to return, establishing after about ten minutes that she probably wasn't and deciding instead to sneak downstairs. That wasn't so easy, what with James and his friend, who JJ vaguely remembered Katie saying was called Gordon, sat on the top stair.

"What are you two doing?" JJ asked, leaning against the banister, looking down at the two boys. James with his messy blonde hair, and the skinny boy next to him, who looked a lot less legendary than he'd been made out to be.

"Listening to Katie and Emily. I think the lezzers have split up." James shrugged, straining to listen to the conversation.

"Must be fucking fabulous, having them under the roof. Real shame that the dyke fest had to end." Gordon smiled, nudging James who started to laugh.

"Perhaps you two should have a bit more respect." JJ sighed, giving a disapproving look to James, who simply glared back at him.

"What do you know about respect? You were just giving my sister one." James laughed, turning to Gordon who gave him a high five. Watching as JJ shifted uncomfortably, not knowing quite how to explain what had been happening in the bedroom.

"I was not... I... It was a simulation." JJ rushed, observing as the two younger boys looked at each other slightly confused, before Gordon piped up.

"She was pretending to shag you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, looking JJ up and down, before turning back to James, still confused.

"Well, erm, yes." JJ coughed, squinting his eyes at how ridiculous he realised this all sounded. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he rocked on his heels, trying a smile as a way of ending the conversation.

"Why?" James asked, pushing for details, because frankly he didn't quite get why his sister had been pretending to have sex with this weird curly haired boy.

"Sometimes thats what people do." JJ shrugged, even though he knew it wasn't, and James and Gordon knew it wasn't.

"No its not." Gordon challenged, he was quite the expert on sex, well he thought he was anyway after reading the vast collection of his older brothers adult magazines.

"You're too young to understand." JJ hurried, pushing past the two boys to get down the stairs. Hoping he could sneak past the living room without Emily seeing him, he wasn't sure he'd be able to offer her any supportive words right now, and he didn't fancy explaining what he was doing there either. His sneaking plan was swiftly ruined, as he tripped into a table, knocking a vase onto the floor, which smashed making the loudest possible sound JJ could imagine.

"What was that?" Emily sniffed, looking up from her sisters arms, mascara stained cheeks.

"Oh bobbins, crapification, buggering tits." JJ stammered, trying to gather up the smashed pieces of glass, only succeeding in making the mess worse. Looking up to see the two Fitch girls looking at him.

"JJ you knob." Katie sighed, moving him out the way as she grabbed a dustpan and brush and began to clean up the mess.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked, still sniffling, wiping her nose on her sleeve. JJ would have done anything to give her a hug right now, but he knew it was highly inappropriate, and that there was a good chance that Katie would hit him if he tried.

"He was helping me with my homework." Katie quickly lied, smooth and easy all JJ had to do was nod and agree. "Then he's coming with us to Freddie's party."

"There's no way i'm going to Freddie's party. Why would you even want to go to Freddie's party?" Emily sighed, gratefully accepting JJ's hanky, she dried her tears, blowed her nose and then handed the hanky back to JJ.

"We're making an appearance. Fearless Fitch's Em. Plus, Naomi won't be there, she hates party's at the best of times, she won't be there the day you split up." Katie assured, squeezing Emily's hand.

"It might be fun Emily." JJ smiled, rubbing Emily's shoulder. Subtly dropping the damp hanky down on the floor, flinching slightly, because as beautiful as Emily was, her snot was not.

"Fearless Fitch's" Emily repeated, mulling the idea over in her head. It might be nice to get drunk and just forget about things, and Katie was right, Naomi didn't even want to go to Freddie's party anyway, she wouldn't be there after everything that had happened.

"And JJ!" JJ piped up a cheery voice, giving the pair of them a thumbs up.

"Dick." Emily and Katie sighed in unison, heading upstairs to find something suitable to wear.

**

The closer they got to Freddie's house, the louder the music sounded. It was filling almost the entire street, and Effy could see most of the college traipsing in and out of Freddie's front door. Effy was practically pulling Naomi along by this stage, it was going to be a long night. Naomi was self consciously pulling down the incredibly short dress she'd borrowed from Effy, even drunk she was still insecure. It was showing off her long legs, and would end up garnering a lot of attention, attention that Naomi didn't really want.

Naomi was mumbling something to Effy, though Effy couldn't quite make out the words, instead settling for nodding in all the right places, to at least create the appearance that she was listening. Spotting Cook and Freddie up ahead, standing outside of Freddie's house, Effy took a deep breath. Things were still awkward, still unsettled, still as fucked up as before.

Cook and Freddie had barely even been able to greet the girls, before Naomi took a wrong step, toppling over, luckily ending up in Freddie's arms. Effy couldn't help but snigger at the sight.

"Christ is she alright?" Freddie asked, scooping up Naomi as she fell towards him, giggling as she leant into Freddie's chest. Freddie moved Naomi's hair out of her face, balancing her so that she didn't fall over.

"Emily and Naomi have split up." Effy quickly explained, the boys not being able to hide their shock at the admission. Cook protectively wrapping his arm around Naomi, who wasn't even aware that she was being discussed.

"I'll look after you babe." Cook gave a small smile, kissing the side of Naomi's head. "Why did you let her get so fucked?" Cook glared at Effy, she rolled her eyes, almost wanting to laugh at how ridiculous that sentence sounded coming from Cook. She couldn't deny that he genuinely seemed to care though, holding on as Naomi's head lolled on his shoulder.

"Cook mate leave it, I'm sure there wasn't a lot Eff could do to stop her." Freddie smiled at Effy, that look of desperation, standing up for her, hoping and wishing that she would respond and be everything he wanted her to be. Effy hated it.

"No. It is my fault. I gave her the vodka, I should have stopped her, I'm a shit friend." Effy replied, slumping down on the ground outside Freddie's. Cook sat down as well, resting Naomi in between them, Freddie taking the cue to sit down as well, opposite Effy, their knees touching.

"I nearly fucked Cook once Ef, but I couldn't cos i'm a lesbinem" Naomi giggled, the other three looking at each other, before joining in the laughter at Naomi's admission. Cook rolled his eyes at the memory.

"First and only time I've been turned down." Cook chuckled, retrieving a beer from his bag, passing it over to Freddie, taking another one for Effy and finally one for himself.

"Wha bout me?" Naomi slurred, indicating towards the beers, burying her head in Effy's shoulder, who kissed her forehead. Huddling closer to Naomi as she noticed the blonde girl shiver.

"Sorry babes, think you've had enough." Cook smiled, rubbing Naomi's knee, who reached out to stroke Cook's ears.

"You got lovely ears." Naomi hiccuped, laughing at herself. The other three shaking their heads and smiling. They'd never seen Naomi so out of control, she'd always been the sober one, watching everyone else around her. No-one mentioned Emily.

"Where's J?" Freddie asked Cook, looking at his watch, it was unlike JJ to be late for anything. Cook searched the crowd of party goers that were moving in and out of Freddie's house, wondering if they'd failed to spot JJ arrive.

"I'll send him a text." Cook grunted, downing the rest of his beer, typing out a quick text to their missing friend. It was a couple of minutes before he got a reply, a simple text explaining that _they _would be there soon. Cook showed the message to Freddie who shrugged, JJ had been especially distant the last few days.

"I'm single, ready to mingle... Where's the ladies?" Naomi laughed, throwing her head up and looking around, trying to stand.

"Well, at least she's not having a sexuality crisis anymore." Effy laughed, pulling Naomi back down, who swiftly fell, landing in a pile on the floor.

"Naomi?" The sound of Emily's panicked voice cut through the laughter of the group, everyone tensed, apart from Naomi who was far more interested in Freddie's shoe. "What the hell is wrong with her?"

"Ems she's just a bit drunk, leave her will you." Effy sighed, flinching as Emily lurched towards her, Katie and JJ appearing behind her, having to restrain her from punching Effy.

"What is she doing here with you? What have you given her you twat?!" Emily spat, leaning down and trying to reach out to Naomi, who groaned and moved away, falling into Freddie's lap.

"Emily will you just back the fuck off! She's upset because she asked you to move in with her and instead you dumped her, so who can blame her if she wanted to get off her face! She's with me because we're friends, so will you just leave her alone." Effy growled, saying probably the most anyone had ever heard her say, surprising the whole group.

"I'm taking her home." Emily insisted, pulling Naomi up, staggering slightly as Naomi leant into her ex. "Come on Naomi, just start walking yeah."

"I'm going to be sick." Naomi groaned, swaying slightly before throwing up, splashing Emily's top. Emily gagged, shaking her head as she pulled Naomi along, the rest of the group watching.

"Think I should go help?" Cook asked, starting on another beer.

"Let her struggle." Effy smiled, hoping something good would come of this night, clearly Emily still cared about Naomi, maybe this could be the thing to bring them back together.


	6. It’s Never Too Late, To Change Your Mind

**I've had some lovely reviews, and lots of people adding me to story alert so i'm guessing people are reading this! Yay! **

As Effy and Cook turned around, they were suddenly aware of just how awkward the situation was, with Effy and Katie at the same party. Effy attempted a half smile in Katie's direction, but Katie instead sauntered off inside, JJ following behind. Cook raised an eyebrow, turning to Freddie who shrugged.

"You don't think there's something going on there do you?" Cook asked, scratching his head, slightly confused. He'd never really seen JJ and Katie so much as talk, yet they'd been spending time together at school, and now they seemed pretty inseparable.

"JJ and Katie? Na, she wouldn't. Anyway he's got a thing for Emily." Freddie laughed, feeling sorry for his mate, falling for a lesbian was never a wise idea. Attempting to wrap his arm around Effy, Freddie pretended he wasn't offended when she shrugged him off, the three of them making their way inside, in an attempt to defuse the awkwardness of the situation.

The living room was a complete mess, Freddie had to drag deeply on his spliff to relax himself enough not to care, Karen clearly didn't give a damn, she was in the corner sucking face with some random guy with big muscles and a tank top. Freddie tried to make eye contact with Effy, but she didn't even acknowledge him, opting instead to dance on her own. The party was in full swing, people were drinking, dancing, laughing, Thomas and Pandora were cuddled together in a corner, Pandora waving at them when they entered, but quickly turning her attention back to Thomas.

"Wanna dance babes?" Cook smiled, wrapping an arm around Katie's waist. Pulling her in close, he could smell her perfume, an intoxicating smell that drove him wild. Katie was hot, he thought, maybe she could be the one to help him get over Effy. He could see Effy dancing, tried to push away all feelings for her, letting his hands slide down to Katie's bottom, giving her a cheeky squeeze.

"Sure, keep your hands off my arse though, prick." Katie teased, licking her lips, she let Cook guide her to the dancefloor, the two of them moving to the music. She had to admit, he was a good dancer, she could feel him grinding against her, enjoyed watching Freddie squirm, as if he had any right to be jealous.

"You didn't say anything about keeping my hands off your tits though, did you Kit Kat?" Cook grinned, his palms gently teasing at Katie's cleavage. Katie glared, but didn't say a word, didn't push him away.

JJ was trying to talk to Jodi, the minute she'd seen him she'd bounced over to him, continuing their conversation from the park. Talking animatedly, JJ poured them both a drink, smiling and laughing at the sweet blonde girl. But as lovely as she was, he couldn't stop his eyes from straying to the dancefloor, he couldn't understand it, but right now he had the greatest desire to punch Cook.

Katie noticed JJ in the corner, pleased at first that he was talking to the girl she'd set him up with, then suddenly, inexplicably, her heart started to ache. She tried to ignore the feeling, pulling herself closer to Cook instead, his masculine hands tracing patterns on her back, her body was responding, but her mind was elsewhere.

Jodi smiled, laughing at a joke JJ wasn't even aware he'd made. Leaning up she kissed him lightly on the cheek, blushing the second her lips grazed his skin. Pulling back she couldn't help but giggle nervously.

"You're really sweet." Jodi admitted, feeling for JJ's hand, she slipped her own inside of his, linking their fingers. JJ's own hand responding, squeezing back encouragingly.

Cook was kissing Katie's neck, holding her close. Katie couldn't shift her gaze from JJ though, couldn't stop her eyes from focusing on his hand in Jodi's. That aching in her heart getting worse. It suddenly got too much, the room was too much, she had to get away.

"I'm sorry Cook." Katie rushed, kissing his cheek, she pulled away running out of the room. Heading outside to the garden, to Freddie's shed, where she knew she'd be able to think straight.

She was relieved to find it empty, letting herself sink down on the sofa, steadying herself she tried to search her brain for some kind of explanation. Why had she reacted to JJ and Jodi like that? Surely it was a good thing, he was only a couple of lessons in and already he'd got the girl. Clearly she was a much better teacher than she'd first thought. Before she could dwell on her thoughts any further, the door creaked open, revealing the last person in the world she wanted to see.

"JJ... Interesting choice." Effy interrupted the tranquility of the shed, resting awkwardly against the doorframe.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Katie snapped, jerking her head up to meet the eyes of the girl who'd tried to kill her. Expecting to see evil, but instead finding someone that was incredibly hard to hate, smiling at her.

"You like JJ. I saw the way you were looking at him, seeing him with that girl drove you insane." Effy explained, pulling out a packet of cigarettes, offering them to Katie who refused, before bringing one out for herself.

"Fuck you Effy." Katie grunted, narrowing her eyes at the girl in front of her. "What are you doing in here anyway? Shouldn't you be fucking Freddie, after all the effort you put into winning him off me."

"Ever found something isn't quite worth the amount of effort you've put in?" Effy questioned, sitting down cautiously on the opposite end of the sofa to Katie. Playing with her bracelet, Effy felt almost embarrassed to admit that she'd destroyed everything, for nothing.

"Well, glad to know me getting a rock to the head was well worth it." Katie snapped, her voice laced with sarcasm and fury, she could almost laugh at just how ridiculous this was. Effy had hurt her for Freddie, now she didn't even want him.

"You're not completely blameless over what happened that night." Effy reminded her. "I seem to remember lots of slapping, spitting and hair pulling from you." The haunting images of that night, played in both girls minds, like a projector, they were both watching the same movie.

"It's called a fucking bitch fight, you shout at each other, get a bit rough... You don't pull out a fucking rock Effy." Katie yelled, finally letting herself get angry, noticing how Effy flinched as Katie moved towards her. "What? Scared I'm going to get my own back?"

"Katie, I want us to be friends again. I want to make this up to you." Effy pleaded, she needed to stop the guilt, the guilt that had been haunting her since the night in the forest. Somehow she thought, if Katie forgave her, then maybe, just maybe, the images might go away.

"We were never friends in the first place." Katie sighed, getting up and walking out the shed. There was only so much she could take, she couldn't deal with Effy and her self pitying right now.

The cool air hit her suddenly, it was darker, Katie hadn't thought she'd been in the shed very long at all. She guessed it was just the beating of her heart, so fast it made every second fly by.

"There you are!" JJ called, running across the garden to meet Katie. Katie felt her heart lurch, fuck maybe Effy was right. The bitch.

"Sorry, needed to get away. Thought you were busy with Jodi anyway, where is she?" Katie asked, shivering slightly as the coldness of the night started to take effect, relieved when JJ wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm.

"Had to go home, her mum has her under a strict curfew." JJ explained, with a sweet smile. "Talking of curfews, how are you going to explain Emily being out to your mum?"

"Shit... I'll tell her that she and Naomi have split up, that way she won't assume she's with Naomi. Then I'll tell her she's... Well, I guess I'll tell her she's at yours." Katie laughed, knowing that her mum would have far less of a problem with Emily staying at a boys house, than at Naomi's.

"Ok. So she won't have an issue with Emily staying at mine then?" JJ asked nervously, not really keen on the thought of Mrs. Fitch chasing him down the street. The one occasion he'd met the twins mother, well quite frankly he'd been terrified, he could definitely see where Katie got her scariness from.

"She won't, dad might though. Unless I was there as well? If they think we're both there, then they'll be fine. Would it be alright if I stay at yours?" Katie stuttered, wanting to kick herself for sounding so bizarre, so desperate.

"Of course. You should give your mum a ring though, you don't want her to worry." JJ smiled, the pair of them walking across Freddie's garden, JJ rubbing Katie's arms to keep her warm. "Do you want to stay here any longer, or head home?"

"I'm pretty tired, we should head back. Maybe get some chips on the way home?" Katie laughed, walking off with JJ, completely oblivious to Cook who was standing in the garden watching them. Shrugging his shoulders, Cook made his way down to Freddie's shed.

"Alright Peachy?" Cook smiled, spotting Effy alone in the shed.

**

"Look at that hedge, what is up with that? It's so... Hedgey." Naomi mumbled, swaying as she walked down the street, walking ahead of Emily who was desperately trying to clean off some of Naomi's sick with a tissue.

"Not sure Nai. Don't run off too far ahead." Emily warned, feeling more like Naomi's mother than her girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, right now.

"Wow, wow, wow. Look at her!" Naomi squealed, crossing the road to approach a girl who was walking along the pavement. Emily watched slightly astonished, as Naomi thrust her chest in the girls face. "Alright darling? How about you give me your number?"

"Fucking hell, sorry about her. She's drunk." Emily apologised, pulling Naomi away from the girl. Trying to fight the jealousy that was raging inside her, telling herself that it was just because Naomi was drunk that she was doing this.

"No need to apologise, she's cute." The girl laughed, carrying on walking. Leaving Emily to grapple with Naomi.

"Hear that? I'm fucking cute! Shame you don't think that, you big hussy." Naomi growled, pushing Emily aggressively, staggering off in front again. Emily had to quicken her pace to catch up. "Get lost! You stink of sick!" Naomi moaned.

"Oh and I wonder why that is!" Emily sighed, directing Naomi down the road that would lead to her house. Digging in Naomi's pocket to find her key, hoping that Gina would be in bed, or even better out of the house, she wasn't quite sure how she'd explain this to her.

Hushing Naomi, Emily just about managed to get her upstairs. If Gina was in, she was certainly in a deep sleep, because Naomi was clattering round as loudly as she possibly could. Emily couldn't help but giggle at how adorable Naomi looked when she was swaying around, grabbing hold of Naomi's hand, Emily was finally able to get her upstairs and into Naomi's room. Allowing Naomi to fall back onto the bed, Emily was desperate to get out of the sick stained top, pulling it over her head, Naomi was watching in awe.

"Nice rack" Naomi chuckled, licking her lips as she watched Emily standing in her bra, reaching around in Naomi's drawer for a T-shirt to wear. There was no way she could leave Naomi tonight, she'd only worry about her if she went home.

"Fucking hell you're drunk." Emily sighed, pulling away as Naomi staggered over to her, reaching her hands up under the T-shirt that Emily had just put on, quivering slightly at the touch of Naomi's hands on her skin.

"I love you, but you don't love me so good." Naomi whispered, shaking her head in disappointment. Leaning in to kiss Emily's neck, knowing exactly the spots that would drive Emily insane.

"Of course I love you." Emily muttered, fighting the growing excitement that was building as Naomi kissed her. Desperately reminding herself why she'd let Naomi go, they couldn't do this, she couldn't do this. "Come on you, time to sleep."

"Why sleep? They're so many other things we could be doing." Naomi sighed, pushing herself up against Emily suggestively, bringing a hand between Emily's legs, pushing against Emily's jeans.

Emily groaned, finally giving in, kissing Naomi back. What was the point in fighting what was inevitable? Deepening the kiss, Emily was surprised to feel Naomi pull away abruptly.

"I'm going to throw up." Naomi blurted out, Emily just about managing to direct Naomi to a wastepaper bin. So much for a night of passion, Emily thought, holding back Naomi's hair.

It hadn't taken long for Naomi to fall asleep after that, Emily had gotten her out of the dress she didn't recognise, assumed it belonged to Effy, as she couldn't imagine Naomi owning anything quite that risque. Tucking her into bed, Emily stroked back her hair, her heart bursting with love for the girl that slept peacefully in front of her. Settling into bed next to Naomi, Emily was perfectly aware of how bizarre this whole situation was, they'd only just split up and already they were back in bed together. Not that Emily wanted to be split up from Naomi, she'd never loved anyone like this before, didn't think she ever would. But just knowing the agony her mother would put them both through, was enough for Emily to want to back away from Naomi. Fitfully, Emily eventually succumbed to tiredness, a million thoughts on her mind.

**

Naomi blinked awake, sunlight streaming through the window indicating it was morning. Her whole body was aching, her stomach cartwheeling as she desperately fought the desire to throw up. Just about managing to roll over, Naomi wasn't shocked to see Emily asleep next to her, then remembering they'd split up, suddenly it was a shock that Emily was lying in bed with her, Naomi tried to remember what had happened last night, maybe this meant they were trying again.

"Ems?" Naomi croaked, reaching out to touch Emily's face. Almost as if she was checking is she was really there. She felt dizzy with excitement, the possibility that everything with Emily was alright, that everything had been solved.

"If you're going to be sick again, do it in the bucket." Emily groaned, half asleep, she rolled over and fell back asleep.

"Emily wake up will you!" Naomi grunted, this time loud enough to shock Emily out of her deep slumber. Electricity as blue eyes met brown, the two girls just staring at each other from their respective sides of Naomi's bed. "Did we...?" Naomi asked, cautiously spying the pile of clothes on the floor.

"No. We almost did, but you threw up instead." Emily smiled, her heart beating faster as Naomi took her hand. Pulling herself closer, Emily was determined to carry on where they'd left things last night.

Emily dipped her head in to capture Naomi's lips, deeply caressing them with her own. Pushing Naomi back, Emily was quickly straddling Naomi, clenching Naomi tightly between her legs. Hands roamed, kisses becoming messier, more passionate. Emily's hands tugging at Naomi's T-shirt, pulling it up over Naomi's head.

"Wait... Wait!" Naomi muttered, flustered she just about managed to push Emily away from her. Emily sat, still on top of Naomi, trying to catch her breath, looking down at Naomi confused.

"What? Fucking hell Naomi." Emily snapped, sexual frustration made her grumpy.

"I'm not a one night stand girl... Or morning." Naomi smiled nervously, her hands taking hold of Emily's, gripping tightly. It was incredibly just how strongly she felt, she really loved Emily, and waking up beside her had made everything feel so much better. She didn't want to lose that now, she wanted Emily, forever.

"This is us Nai, its not like you're fucking a stranger. What's the problem?" Emily sighed, dipping her head to Naomi's chest, placing delicate kisses on Naomi's breasts. Making it incredibly difficult for Naomi to push her away, but somehow she found the strength to do so.

"What i'm saying is. If we have sex, that means we're back together, right. I won't let this happen if you're going to keep up the stupid idea of us splitting up." Naomi insisted, craning her neck to kiss Emily, but this time it was Emily who pulled away. Rolling off Naomi.

"I broke up with you for a reason." Emily muttered, scooting as far over as she could, creating a chasm of awkwardness between her and Naomi.

"Not a fucking good reason if you're back here trying to fuck me within a day." Naomi snapped bitterly, sighing as she watched Emily flinch, knowing that Emily hated it when she got angry. Instead bringing herself over to Emily, tenderly kissing her. "I love you. I want to make love to you." Naomi whispered, her voice filled with longing.

"If it's meant to be. Fate will bring us back together, one day." Emily promised, crawling out of bed, pulling on clothes apart from her top. She would have to borrow Naomi's, there was no way she'd be putting her own back on.

"Fuck fate." Naomi sighed, sinking back into her pillow as she watched Emily walk away, yet again.


	7. I'm Buried And Breathing In Regret

**I've had some lovely reviews so thank you, also lots of story alerts and favourite alerts so that's made me smile a lot as well. Yeah sorry you guys are all starting to hate Emily, don't hate Emily, hate Mama Fitch! **

Katie opened her eyes, breathed in and started to look around, surprised by her unfamiliar surroundings, it took her a minute to register where she was. A snoring from the floor below her made her jump, looking down she could see JJ curled up in a sleeping bag on his bedroom floor. Katie couldn't help but smile, propping herself up on her elbow, watching him breathe in and out. Her eyes straying to look at the bedroom itself, she couldn't help but be drawn to the large mindmap that covered most of JJ's wall. On it were the details of everything, every friendship, every relationship. Hunting for her own name, her stomach dropped to read _'Katie loves Freddie, Freddie loves Effy.' _The betrayal still stung, even now, even though she didn't want him, and she wasn't sure she ever loved him, it still hurt.

Pulling herself out of bed, creeping quietly so as not to wake JJ, Katie went to get a closer look at the wall. Tracing the lines that connected her friends with her finger, Katie followed the memories of the past year. Letting out a small laugh at JJ having wrote 'Imoan' over Naomi's name, Katie continued to follow the trails. _Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Emily. _It shouldn't have bothered Katie, it was something she already knew, yet for some reason, a reason she couldn't understand, it hurt.

"Morning Katie." JJ yawned, waking up to watch Katie standing, wearing one of his old T-shirts, reading his wall. He blushed slightly when he saw what Katie was looking at. He blushed even more when he noticed his old T-shirt and her underwear, was all that Katie was wearing.

"Your wall is weird J." Katie muttered, trying to disguise the emotion in her voice. She felt weird, pulling the T-shirt down self-consciously.

"It helps me keep track of things, our friends like to swop partners at an alarming rate." JJ blushed as he explained. Katie was so different to Emily, far more inquisitive, he found himself comparing the two far more regularly than he'd ever done before.

"Yeah, they do." Katie sighed, her own troubled relationships with men playing on her mind. Spotting her name again she reached out and touched it. _Katie and Emily are very pretty. _"Who's prettier?" Katie asked, only half serious.

"That's not a very nice question." JJ complained, bowing his head to avoid Katie's eyes. Truth was, he wasn't sure he knew. He always thought it was Emily, but now looking at Katie without all the make-up, just Katie, he saw something he hadn't seen before.

"It's ok, you can say Emily." Katie sighed, rubbing at her arm, comforting herself. Because the more time that passed, the more it seemed as if Emily was a better version of Katie, improved in every area.

"I don't want to say Emily. You're both exceptionally pretty, but in different ways. You're beautiful. Unobtainable. Emily's..." JJ trailed, blushing because Emily was exactly the same, if not more unobtainable.

"Me unobtainable? Surely Emily's the one you don't have a chance with, she's gay remember?" Katie laughed, wondering why she was so off limits for JJ, wondering why she cared so much.

"You're Katie Fitch." JJ stated simply, as if it meant something, as if it was a reason.

"Right. Well, I'm not. Unobtainable I mean." Katie blushed. "Can I use your bathroom?" Hurrying off before JJ had even granted her permission, how idiotic of her to say something like that, what did it even mean?

JJ nodded, his stomach doing flips as he tried to work out exactly what Katie meant, girls were confusing, very, very confusing.

**

Emily dragged her feet, because right now walking was far too difficult. An effort that she just couldn't summon up. It was cold, and she was painfully aware she was only wearing a T-shirt and jeans, a T-shirt that belonged to Naomi, that smelt like Naomi. Turning on her phone, she blinked at the messages that quickly appeared. Most from Katie, one, the most recent one, from Naomi.

_Please, please let us try. x_

Emily deleted it quickly, a vain attempt to stop herself from replying. She felt so guilty, after everything her and Naomi had gone through, it seemed almost ridiculous to let her go. But it was better for both of them, it had to be. She needed to get home, needed to get out of this T-shirt because it was driving her insane. Moving on to Katie's messages, she was suddenly alerted to Katie's strange alibi for her, changing her course to JJ's house rather than home. Wondering why Katie had chosen JJ, Emily carried on walking, it was very bizarre, but if it avoided her getting in trouble with her mother she was grateful.

**

Walking down the stairs with Katie following him, JJ had the strangest sense of deja vu. Made even more awkward as JJ spotted his mother, standing at the bottom of the stairs, sipping on her cup of tea.

"Mum this is Katie... A friend." JJ announced, wanting to laugh at his mothers wide eyed expression, the minute she spotted Katie. The alarming similarities to the last girl who walked down her stairs made JJ's mum choke on her tea. Grateful for the knock on the door that distracted her.

"Hello Mrs. Jones. Is JJ in?" Emily asked, smiling sweetly as JJ's mum looked back and forth between the twins, trying to find words to figure out precisely what was going on. She knew that something had happened with this one, was it possible her son had been 'entertaining' the other twin?

"We're just having some toast Emily, fancy joining us?" JJ smiled, beckoning Emily inside the house. Emily gratefully accepted, her stomach rumbling, she grabbed on to Katie, leaning into her twin for support as the three made their way to the dining room.

"Bloody hell." Mrs Jones sighed, scratching her head in amazement.

**

Naomi had to get out of the house, as much as she loved her mother, she was fucking annoying. More annoying was the fact that her mother was in love, and the person she was in love with hadn't buggered off, instead Kieran and Gina were being sickeningly sweet in the kitchen.

Over the course of the morning Naomi had cried, sent Emily a text, wished she hadn't and cried all in the hour since Emily had left. It made her feel weak, pathetic, in a way that she'd never wanted to feel. On top of all that she had a killer hangover, she'd seriously pushed her limits the night before.

"Darling are you going somewhere?" Gina's voice called out, Naomi stopping in her tracks, annoyed that someone was preventing her great escape. Gina rushed out, pulling herself out of Kieran's arms, call it mothers intuition, but she knew that something wasn't quite right.

"Just out mum." Naomi muttered, trying to hide her face, she knew her puffy eyes were a dead giveaway that she was upset. Pulling her blazer around her, Naomi hovered whilst her mother walked towards her.

"Was that Emily I saw here earlier? She didn't say hello." Gina pointed out, stroking her daughters hair. Looking concerned as she noted Naomi's expression, putting it together with Emily's less than friendly attitude from the morning, Gina could see something was wrong. Normally Emily would greet her with the warmest of smiles, sit down and have a cuppa, chat about school, about life, about anything.

"She just brought me home last night, I was a bit drunk. We've split up mum." Naomi explained bluntly, pushing down the lump in her throat, her mother looked just as devastated as she did.

"Oh Nai please don't tell me you've been a twat." Gina sighed, she knew how frustrating her daughter could be, she also knew how much Naomi had struggled coming to terms with her sexuality, it seemed only logical that Naomi was the one who'd messed this up.

"Fuck off mum. If you must know she dumped me, I'm fucking going out." Naomi spat, pulling away from her mother, slamming the door as she stomped away from the house. She couldn't blame her mother, she knew exactly why she would think it was her, everyone would accuse her. No-one would think of sweet little Emily Fitch as a heartbreaker.

Naomi kept walking, despite her mother calling after her, despite wanting to turn round and find some kind of comfort in her mothers arms. Naomi kept walking until her head started spinning, veering off into the local park, Naomi found a quiet spot to sit down in. Looking around she watched a game of football, anything to distract her from thinking about Emily.

"Hi there." The soft voice broke Naomi's thoughts, it was a different voice, not the one she wanted to hear, a voice she didn't recognise.

"Er... Hi." Naomi replied, sounding a lot harsher than she should have done, but she didn't really have time for whoever it was talking to her. Getting no response, Naomi finally lifted her head, squinting at the girl in front of her. She was short, not as short as Emily, brunette hair and light brown eyes, lighter than Emily's. Naomi cursed herself for making comparisons, she almost felt like she knew this girl though, she just couldn't place her.

"You don't remember me do you?" The girl laughed, plonking herself down on the grass next to Naomi, Naomi flinched at the invasion of space but it didn't seem to bother the girl at all.

"Sorry, should I?" Naomi replied, raising an eyebrow she gave the girl a cool glare, racking her brains to work out where she knew this girl from.

"Well, you were asking for my number last night, though you were pretty drunk, I imagine you don't really remember." The girl grinned, flicking her hair back. Naomi finally clicked, remembering the embarrassing event, she couldn't help but grin back.

"You said I was cute, and you didn't seem drunk at all." Naomi reminded her, trying to embarrass the girl back as much as she'd embarrassed her.

"I wasn't... You are." The girl smiled, biting her lip. Flirting. Naomi suddenly felt uncomfortable, the girl was clearly interested, Naomi hadn't had to deal with female attention apart from Emily. It felt a little strange.

"Right. Thanks. I guess." Naomi stuttered, rubbing her hands together awkwardly. She wasn't quite sure how to react, instead feeling her cheeks blush red.

"I'm Ruby, by the way." Introducing herself to the awkward looking blonde, Ruby had a feeling that the red head from the night before had more than a little to do with the reluctance in the blonde.

"Naomi. Me, that's me, i'm Naomi." Naomi muttered, sticking her hand out to shake Ruby's, wishing her hands weren't so clammy, wishing she wasn't so rubbish at this.

"Yeah I overheard your girlfriend call you that." Ruby rushed, needing to know whether Naomi was in a relationship with the girl that had been taking her home. Praying that Naomi would be correcting her.

"She's not my... She's my ex." Naomi explained, her heart aching to say it, but it was true, she was going to have to get used to it eventually. She tried to ignore the obvious relief on Ruby's face, but at the same time couldn't help but feel excited by the attention.

"Right, that's cool. Really cool, don't suppose you fancy a coffee? As great as this park is, it's a bit cold." Ruby smiled, biting her lip to stop the awkward rambling from spilling out.

"Er look. You seem really nice, like really nice. But me and Emily, my ex, we only just split up." Naomi stammered, feeling stupid because she didn't even know if this girl was gay, never mind interested in her, she might have just being friendly.

"Friends can get coffee. We could be friends, maybe?" Ruby offered, she was a little disappointed, but she couldn't help but be drawn to the gorgeous blonde, with the stunning blue eyes she hadn't been able to get out of her head all night.

"Coffee would be good." Naomi agreed, standing up she reached out her hand to pull Ruby up. Finally taking a proper look at the girl, she definitely had a quirky fashion sense, wearing a T-shirt with dinosaurs on, it made Naomi smile. She could definitely see her being friends with this girl, definitely.

**

"That was fucking weird." Emiy sighed, her and Katie walking home from JJ's. It had been a strange and awkward breakfast, JJ and Katie chatting away like old friends, JJ's mum stood in amazement, whilst Emily munched on her toast trying her hardest not to think about Naomi.

"What did you want me to do twat? Tell mum you were with Naomi?" Katie grunted, shoving the younger twin, making her lose her balance, Katie had to grab Emily and pull her up before she fell. Katie brushed Emily's hair out of her face, always looking after her baby sister, always protecting her.

"I just don't get why you stayed at JJ's." Emily quizzed, furrowing her brow, she tried to figure out her sister, realising for the first time that she couldn't read her. Normally Katie was easy, an open book.

"Because if dad heard you were at JJ's alone he'd fucking kill him. Christ Ems you don't think things through do you? It's a good thing I'm here to look after you." Katie explained, rolling her eyes, she gripped onto Emily's arm. She liked it when it was the two of them, she liked Emily's company.

"So you slept round JJ's? In his room?" Emily questioned further, she really couldn't figure out her sister sometimes. She was slightly incredulous a the whole situation, like a jigsaw where the pieces obviously fitted, she just couldn't for the life of her work out how.

"Yes Emily. What the fuck are you getting at?" Katie growled, releasing Emily from her grip, Katie paused bringing her hands to her hips, this was the Katie that Emily was far more used to. Katie looked pissed off, Emily knew she'd just have to spit out the question that was dying to be asked.

"Katie did you shag him?" Emily blurted out, averting Katie's gaze, feeling slightly embarrassed that she's asked. Especially with the look that Katie was giving her.

"No! Fuck no! I'm not you Emily!" Katie snapped, rolling her eyes at her sister she pulled her along and the two started walking along. "Think I can't fucking be friends with a guy without shagging him?"

"I didn't mean it like that Katie. You two just seemed, I don't know, close." Emily explained, no longer shivering thanks to the hoody that JJ had let her borrow, the twins probably looked quite amusing, both walking home in clothes borrowed from someone that was considerably larger than them.

"We're friends, he's a good friend." Katie smiled, the conversation ruined by her ringing phone, hitting the answer button she was suddenly flooded with the voice of her mother. "Yes mum... Yeah we're coming home now... Yes Emily's with me... Oh christ Ems tell mum you're here."

"I'm here." Emily grunted, not particularly keen to talk to her mother.

"Right... Do we have to? Oh mum... Yeah alright... Yes we will... Yeah bye mum..." Katie finished off the phonecall, groaning at whatever her mother had requested of her. "We've got to go and get James from the park and walk him home." Katie sighed.

"Oh joy, walking home with James should be so much fun." Emily sighed, the two changing course to the park. The two of them immediately spotting the group of boys playing football, Katie waving to their brother to alert him that they were there.

"Fucking hell your sisters are fit James." Gordon smiled, the rest of the lads nudging each other and agreeing. James suddenly looked annoyed and turned around to face his friends.

"Have a bit of respect! They're my sisters." James snapped, JJ's words from the day before, clearly having an effect on him. Running over to his sisters James smiled, walking along beside them.

"Alright turd?" Katie smiled, ruffling her brothers hair, strangely enjoying being with her siblings, they weren't too bad.

"What the fuck are you two wearing?" James quizzed, eyeing his sisters strange choice of clothing, he was so used to seeing them in tiny skirts and tight fitting tops that an oversized hoody looked bizarre.

"We stayed at JJ's, borrowed them from him." Katie explained, pulling the hoody round her self consciously, trying to look at least halfway decent.

"Did you shag him again?" James asked innocently, well kind of innocently, he knew from Katie's awkward glare that he'd said something he wasn't supposed to.

"Again?" Emily interrupted, jaw dropping slightly, she was about to launch into a rant at Katie when something caught her eye, someone to be more precise, that peroxide blonde hair would always grab her attention.

Naomi and Ruby were walking across the park, talking animatedly, Naomi didn't spot Emily, but Emily couldn't help but see Naomi. Her mouth felt dry, Emily felt her stomach clench, her heart aching and tightening at the sight. James and Katie exchanged a worried look, Katie instinctive gripping onto her sisters hand, James rubbing Emily's other arm.

"Who's that? Ems who is with Naomi?" Katie asked, hoping that there was some kind of explanation, an old friend or something. Because there seemed to be a closeness between Naomi and this girl, a closeness that was driving Emily insane.

"How do I know?" Emily snapped, though she didn't tear her hand from Katie's, instead she gripped on tighter. She did recognise the girl, it was the one from the night before, the one that had called Naomi cute.

"Shit Ems, she didn't take long did she?" Katie growled, wanting to go and slap Naomi, scream at her and beat the crap out of her. As long as Naomi didn't have a rock, Katie was pretty sure she could take her.

"Shut the fuck up Katie, just shut the fuck up." Emily muttered, walking faster, her two siblings desperately trying to keep up with her. She needed to get out, she couldn't watch this.


	8. Bitter Tears And Broken Hearts

**Hey guys, sorry it's been a couple of days, had uni work and sleep to do so haven't been writing as much as i've wanted to. I know some of you are concerned about Naomily in this, I know it's angst and I know they seem so broken apart, but just have faith in me! Anyhew, thanks for reading!**

The rest of the walk home, was conducted almost entirely in silence. James didn't dare say anything, he was hoping Katie would have all the right words to make Emily smile again. But Katie simply hung on limply to Emily's hand, because she knew there weren't words, knew that Emily didn't need to know that this was a product of her own actions.

The silence continued as they entered the Fitch house, the only sound being made as they closed the front door. The minute she was inside, Emily sprung up the stairs, closely followed by Katie, desperate not to face the person she despised most right now, shuddering slightly as she heard Jenna's voice cut through her like glass.

"Emily! Katie! Aren't you going to tell me how your night was?" Jenna called, only catching the back of her girls running up the stairs.

"Mum leave them." James insisted, gripping onto his mothers arm. Urging her to drop it, because he knew that Emily needed to cry, she needed to cry and Katie needed to hold her, and all he could do as a brother was to keep their mum away.

"James, will you go in the room or something, I want to talk to your sisters." Jenna tutted, pulling herself away from the younger blonde Fitch, who was trying to act like a man, trying to protect his sister.

"No mum, please just leave Emily alone. You've hurt her enough." James snapped, shrinking away as his mother glared down at him, she wasn't used to her son voicing his opinions. James quickly took this as his cue to leave.

"What do you mean? James Robert Fitch come back here right now! I will not tolerate this behaviour! I'm sure your father will have a stern word with you when he arrives home! You'll be doing a fair few reps on the naughty bar tonight!" Jenna raged, following James into the living room, where he'd slumped in front of the television.

"No he bloody won't! He thinks you're treating Emily like shit as well, we all do." James snapped, jumping up and running up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door.

Jenna stood frozen, her heart racing. She tried to force down the lump in her throat, she wouldn't cry over this decision, she couldn't cry over a decision that felt so right to her.

Katie jumped at the sound of James's door slamming, she was pretty sure she'd heart James shouting at their mother and felt kind of proud of the little shit. Epic perv he may be, but he knew where his loyalty lay. Katie shifted on her bed, turning to look at Emily, neither had said a word since they'd arrive home, but Katie felt it was time to cut the silence.

"Emily, come on Emily you can sort this out. I'm pretty sure that it didn't mean anything, it's been like a day, she's probably just a friend." Katie insisted, anything to try to shift Emily out of this zombie like state.

"It was the girl from last night, the one Naomi tried to give her number to. The one that said Naomi was cute..." Emily sighed, her eyes fluttering down to the passport photos that were stuffed down the side of her bed, away from the prying eyes of her mother. The first was of Naomi, stony and serious, because she'd needed to get her photos taken for her passport. By the second one Emily had popped her head in, for the third they were sat cuddled together and by the fourth their lips had met.

"Just fucking text her then, tell her she's out of line, tell her you want her back and end this fucking stupidity!" Katie sighed, shaking her head because the answer was just too simple.

"You don't get this at all do you Katie? You just don't understand!" Emily insisted, burying her head into her pillow.

"No Ems, I don't fucking understand. Neither does Naomi, and to be honest I don't think even you understand why you've fucked this up. You are going to lose her Emily." Katie growled, getting angry because she decided it was the only way to get through to Emily. For someone that was so intelligent, Emily could be fucking stupid sometimes. Feeling the buzz of her phone, Katie grabbed it and saw she had a text, scanning it she stood up and grabbed her bag. "I've got to go Ems, have a careful think yeah?"

All Emily could do was watch Katie practically sprint out the door, leaving her sat wallowing in self inflicted misery. Staring at passport photos of the perfect life she'd thrown away, the perfect life she'd so desperately wanted. Fuck this, Emily thought. She was going into town, going to buy something amazing to wear... Or, failing that, a magazine with lots of tits in.

**

"I have a date. A real date, in a restaurant. I've never been on a real date in a restaurant before." JJ stuttered to Katie, showing his phone with the message from Jodi, to her.

Katie took the phone to read the text. She hummed in acknowledgement before passing JJ's phone back to him. Katie sat down on JJ's sofa, crossing her legs as she watched JJ pace the room awkwardly. Katie raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a stern look which told him to sit down.

"You gave her your number didn't you? What did you expect, of course she was going to ask you out." Katie sighed, sometimes JJ could be a little infuriating with his naivety. Perhaps he would still need a fair few lessons yet.

"That's the thing, I didn't. She must have got it from someone, she rushed off so quickly the other night I didn't have time to ask. Furthermore my mother said I had to be careful about giving my number out to strangers." JJ admitted, blushing because he was still surprised that anyone would make such an effort to talk to him, to ask him out, he still couldn't believe that someone was interested.

"Right first, she's not some creepy old guy asking for your number, I think you're safe. Second, she really is keen, or desperate, I'll leave that for you to decide. Third, it's a meal J, you know how to eat, you know how to talk, that's all a date consists of." Katie explained, turning JJ's television on and flicking through until she found something of interest.

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me. We have a deal remember?" JJ grunted, annoyed at Katie's lack of attention. Slumping down in the armchair, he tried to catch Katie's eye, but she was far more interested in some plastic looking American on the TV.

Katie felt a little bad, but she could hardly explain to him that she had some odd jealousy. It was probably because she'd been single for a little while, that was it she rationalized. It wasn't about JJ, she was certain.

"JJ have a bit of confidence in yourself, yeah? Without me you've managed to talk to her, get her to like you, she's texted you, wants to date you!" Katie reminded JJ, all her really needed was self belief, she'd be an idiot not to fall for someone as sweet and amazing as JJ.

"There's still so much I don't know! I'm nervous ok?! Nervous! I've only ever kissed two girls in my entire life!" JJ yelled, blushing bright red, clutching his fists together in frustration, Katie looked surprised at the outburst.

"Who's the other one?" Katie asked simply, interested in who else JJ had been kissing, obviously she knew about her sister, but she couldn't quite figure out who else. Surely Effy had never...? Well, she'd had everyone else it wouldn't be that big a surprise.

"What?" JJ asked, calming down from his previous rant, now just a bit confused what Katie was asking him.

"Who's the other girl you've kissed?" Katie questioned, maybe it was just some random at a party, she wasn't quite sure why, but it was bothering her not knowing.

"Oh... Er... A... Erm... Mehmehmeh." JJ muttered, far too embarrassed to admit who the other girl was. The prostitute called Megan, who'd given him his first proper kiss for a grand total of £10.

"A what?" Katie asked, screwing her face up in confusion, as she tried to figure out precisely what a mehmehmeh was.

"A prosmehmeh." JJ stuttered, almost telling Katie but trailing off, because really it was quite embarrassing. He wasn't the kind of guy that did things like that, it wasn't something he was proud of, it was Cook, it was always Cook who got him into bad situations.

"Fucking talk English JJ!" Katie snapped, truely getting frustrated now, whoever this girl was it must be a right minger, because JJ was a red as a tomato, and looked about as comfortable as she did in that fucking blue thong of Emily's that cut her in half.

"A prostitute!" JJ called out exasperated by Katie's pushing. He could barely meet her eyes, but he could make out the look of surprise and slight disgust that sat on Katie's face.

"Eww! Fucking hell are you desperate or something?" Katie cried out, she sounded a little harsher than she meant to. She could see it wasn't something JJ was particularly proud of, but still it was weird.

"It was Cook, he made me go. I didn't want to. We only kissed, that was it." JJ defended, desperate for Katie not to think he was some creep that could only get a kiss if he paid for it. It wasn't like that, it was never that seedy.

"That's still disgusting." Katie muttered, she expected that kind of thing from Cook, she could imagine Freddie doing it as well. But JJ... She wanted JJ to be different.

"Well, I had to learn somehow." JJ blushed, shifting at how awkward the situation was. Holding his head down, he didn't notice when Katie got off the sofa, stood up and walked over to him, sitting on his lap, straddling him.

"Oh fuck it, come here." Katie sighed, taking JJ's face in her hands and kissing him, it was forceful. Caressing his lips with hers, it took a minute before he started to respond, gripping the back of Katie's head, kissing her back. The 'lesson' lasted too long, both of them enjoying it far too much. It was JJ that eventually pulled away, his eyes meeting Katie's as she jumped up, away from JJ.

"That was, different." JJ managed to muster, a little shocked by the whole event. He could still feel Katie on his lips, could still taste her lipgloss.

"Good different or bad different?" Katie asked, intrigued by what JJ meant, she'd been told plenty of times she was an amazing kisser.

"Good different, very good, you're a very good actress." JJ stuttered out, nervous and embarrassed by Katie's intense glare. He wasn't just saying it though, the kiss had been very good.

"Am I?" Katie asked confused, not quite sure what JJ meant by 'actress'.

"Well, when I kissed Emily, you could tell she didn't really mean it. But you, i'd almost think you liked me. But thats stupid." JJ explained, laughing to Katie, at how preposterous the whole idea was. Katie was just a very good actress, she should be taking drama.

"Yeah pretty bloody stupid." Katie muttered, blushing, she could feel her cheeks blush red. She was just a good actress, a really good actress.

"Still thanks." JJ nodded, touching his lips. Pulling his hand away self-consciously before Katie noticed.

"You're not too bad JJ. Your technique I mean, it was alright." Katie smiled, trying to establish some kind of normality, bring the conversation back to the lessons that Katie was supposed to be giving to JJ.

"Oh, well I guess I have a natural ability then." JJ grinned, feeling quite proud of himself, a compliment from Katie was a rare phenomena, she must mean it, she wouldn't say something like that if she didn't mean it.

"Yep, you've got soft lips." Katie rushed, she really wanted to get home now, because she kind of felt like she was being strangled. Her throat was all tight, she couldn't breathe.

"Lip balm, mum says girls like it if you look after your lips." JJ explained, proudly showing off the small tin of Vaseline he carried in his pocket.

"Well, yeah, she's right. I should go. I better go, a good lesson yeah, text me later." Katie hurried desperately, heading as fast as she could for the front door.

"Thank you again Katie!" JJ called after Katie, watching as she hurried down the road. Realising that he still had no idea how he was going to cope on this date with Jodi, Katie's lessons were kind of lacking in the finer detail.

**

"This is good coffee, it's a nice place, for coffee." Naomi muttered, holding her hands around the mug, smiling and trying to seem somehow normal. When really, this situation was far from normal, because the girl opposite her just wasn't Emily.

"Oh yes, scintillating conversation." Ruby grinned, teasing the blonde who sat opposite her, with the empty look on her face. Naomi had hardly said two words, it certainly killed the atmosphere when the person you were with couldn't stop thinking about someone else.

"Er sorry. I'm not good at this." Naomi blushed, pushing her hair away from her face, trying to at least attempt eye contact with Ruby. Ruby was nice, she'd talked about books, good books, proper literature. She was intelligent, and witty, possibly just as sarcastic as Naomi. The conversation would probably have been brilliant if Naomi had put a little effort in.

"Being friends? Thought making friends was like a basic life skill?" Ruby smiled, trying to put Naomi at ease. She liked teasing Naomi, liked the look of respect that twinkled in Naomi's eyes when she shot back with something acidic and charming.

"I must have missed out on that. You are kind of looking at me like you like me." Naomi admitted, grinning and biting her lip. Why was it that every girl she made friends with wanted to jump her?

"That make you uncomfortable? I'd take it as a compliment." Ruby winked, gulping her coffee, licking a rogue drop from her lips, and smiling when she saw Naomi shift slightly in admiration of the action.

"I do... It's just, it's literally been a day since I split up with Emily." Naomi explained, a pain in her chest at the mention of Emily's name. What the fuck was she doing here, sitting with some other girl?

"Maybe I could help you get back with her?" Ruby suggested, shrugging her shoulders at the absurdity of it. She couldn't help but smile though.

"Why would you want to do that? I thought you fancied me." Naomi pouted, almost offended that Ruby didn't want her. She was quite enjoying the ego-boost of someone liking her, wanting her.

"Oh babes seriously, as hot as you are, I've just met you, I'm not in love or anything. So we could be friends, and I could help you get that girlfriend of yours back. The green-eyed monster tends to give people a nudge in the right direction." Ruby laughed, she didn't know Emily, but from what she'd seen of her, it was obvious she was still head over heels in love with Naomi.

"You want to make Emily jealous?" Naomi asked astonished, remembering how she'd felt when she'd found out about Emily and JJ, remembering that sickening jealousy that had pushed her to finally confront what she felt about Emily. Maybe this plan wasn't quite so absurd.

"If she thinks you've moved on, it might inspire her, might get her interested." Ruby pondered, not overly sure why she was so keen to help. Perhaps part of her thought, maybe if she helped Naomi and Emily still didn't want her, then that would leave the door wide open for her.

"It's a little more complicated than that, I don't know if I like underhanded tactics. Emily broke up with because of things that are going on with her family, she's hurting enough as it is, she doesn't need me being a bastard to her." Naomi sighed, she'd hurt Emily enough over the past year, she didn't want to do it anymore.

Ruby looked Naomi up and down, smiling at just how sweet she was, how caring she was even though Emily had dumped her. She was almost jealous of just how epic this love seemed, of just how much pain Naomi was in.

"Come on we're going." Ruby announced, her eyes trying to inspire excitement in Naomi. Grabbing hold of her hand, she pulled the blonde up, yanking her out of the cafe.

"Going where?" Naomi managed to ask, despite the shock of being rushed out of the cafe before she'd even had the chance to finish her coffee. She felt herself grip onto Ruby, enjoying the feel of someone else's hand in hers.

"I dunno, Narnia!" Ruby squealed, as they staggered outside, still holding on tightly Ruby marched Naomi off down the street. Almost tripping over themselves as they hurried on through, on a quality coffee high.

"I just came out the closet... You want to drag me back in?" Naomi quipped, laughing as she fell into Ruby. Their eyes meeting, her breath hitched slightly as she tried to force away the mutual attraction.

"Ha! Come on idiot!" Ruby grinned, determined that she was going to cheer Naomi up. Because as much as she wanted to kiss Naomi right now, it really wouldn't be helpful, so instead she was just going to make her smile.

Blinking, Emily couldn't believe it, she had to be seeing things, because Naomi couldn't be holding hands with that girl. She couldn't be seeing Naomi again, it had to be her mind playing tricks on her. But the closer she got, the more certain she got that it was the blonde, her blonde. Feeling a rage build up inside her, she decided she had to do something, had to confront Naomi. Marching in their direction, Emily took a deep breath, preparing herself for confrontation.


	9. So I Don't Go Where You Don't Want Me

The flash of red hair, combined with the angry glare, was enough to tell Ruby that this was the girl she'd met the other night. Naomi's Emily, marching in their direction, and Naomi still hadn't noticed. It was a split second decision, but instinct told her it would have quite the effect on Emily. Pulling Naomi into her, Ruby placed her hands around the back of Naomi's neck and started to kiss her, caressing Naomi's resistant lips until they eventually gave in and started to reciprocate.

Emily halted, stopping completely in her tracks to see the two girls kissing, her stomach churning with jealousy, hurt and anger. It was all she could do to hold her body up, she wanted to fall, and keep on falling.

Ruby pulled back, grinning slightly at Naomi's look of shock. Leaning in, Naomi could feel her warm breath against her ear, it made her heart lurch.

"Go after her." Ruby whispered, her head turning slightly to indicate towards where Emily was now turning to walk away. Letting go of Naomi's hand, and giving the dazed and confused girl a little shove in the right direction. Naomi suddenly registered what had just happened, quickly placing a light kiss on Ruby's cheek, before running after Emily, who'd managed to walk surprisingly far.

"Emily! Emily!" Naomi called, grabbing hold of Emily's arm so that the two were facing each other. The tears that were rolling down Emily's face made Naomi feel so guilty, she reached out, wiping them away but Emily pulled back aggressively. "Emily please don't cry."

"What the fuck! I've just seen you with another girl! What am I supposed to do? Fucking stand and give you a round of applause." Emily snapped, her eyes conveying a look of hurt and disgust. Pushing back from Naomi's persistent touch.

"She kissed me Ems." Naomi insisted, pleading for Emily to believe her. She couldn't help but feel guilty though, she'd kissed Ruby back, she'd enjoyed the kiss, and she felt like her face was betraying her, telling Emily everything.

"You looked pretty fucking into it from where I was standing. No issue with PDA's with a stranger, but you used to be weird about it with me." Emily complained, looking hurt that Naomi was so readily kissing a girl she barely knew, in the centre of town, not caring.

"Emily don't, don't be like this. We've split up remember, you dumped me." Naomi reminded her, Emily couldn't get angry about this, she had no right.

"Didn't take you long to move on did it? I didn't realise I was so... Replaceable. Well, at least it looks like your sexuality crisis is resolved." Emily laughed bitterly, turning from Naomi and starting to walk away again.

"Emily please. Just come back to mine now, we'll talk, we'll sort this out. You've just seen how fucking jealous you got when you saw someone else coming on to me, you care about me, you love me, I know you do." Naomi pleaded, pulling on Emily's arm, her skin tingling as it made contact with Emily's. "I can be all yours." Naomi muttered, leaning her forehead against Emily's.

"Is this all a game to you?" Emily asked, wanting to pull away, put she was too caught up in this powerful attraction. Gripping on tightly to Naomi's arms, it almost felt like a punishment, but Naomi wouldn't pull away.

"You know it's not." Naomi promised, tucking a loose strand of Emily's hair behind her ear. Smiling at Emily as she saw the corners of Emily's mouth twitch into a grin.

"I'll find a way of coming over tonight, seven-ish ok? Just to talk, we need to talk." Emily sighed, checking her watch and realising that she needed to get back before Jenna noticed she was gone. Her hand pulling away from Naomi's reluctantly.

"Tonight." Naomi smiled, taking a deep breath and watching Emily walk away. This time with a hope that things could get better.

**

Checking his watch for the third time, JJ had been so determined not to be late for his date, that he'd ended up being half an hour early. Hovering around outside the restaurant where Jodi would be meeting him at seven, he decided to go for a quick walk to steady his nerves. Feeling in his pocket, checking for the twenty-seventh time that he had his wallet, before grabbing his phone and searching for Katie's name.

"Alright JJ, thought you had your date? She hasn't stood you up has she? Because if she has I swear I'll hunt her down..." Katie began to rant, JJ trying to get a word in edgewise which he was beginning to realise with Katie was an incredible thing to do.

"Katie! It's not time yet, I'm early." JJ finally managed to explain, finally shutting Katie up. "I'm just a little bored, because I'm early, so I wondered if you had any last minute advice?"

"Advice? Hmm, what are you wearing?" Katie asked, leaning back on her bed, watching Emily rush around to get ready for going to Naomi's. Emily looked puzzled, Katie mouthing 'JJ' ignoring Emily rolling her eyes in response.

"A shirt, and jeans. Thought I'd play it simple, and avoid loud colours as I haven't quite determined her opinion on them yet." JJ explained, smoothing down the shirt, desperate to look as presentable as he could, wanting to make a good impression.

"Sounds good, aftershave? Cleaned your teeth? Brushed your hair?" Katie listed, Emily having to stifle a giggle at the bizarre conversation her sister was having with JJ. Katie shot her a look, before indicating which of the two tops that Emily was holding up that she should wear.

"Check, check and check. All affirmative, I chose that aftershave you told me smelt nice." JJ grinned, glad that he'd done everything that Katie had told him.

"Very nice, it smells lush. Well, you know what I reckon you're fine then. How much longer have you got before she comes?" Katie asked, holding her phone between her cheek and shoulder as she attempted to paint her toenails.

"Erm about twenty minutes, I suppose I'll have to take another walk around the block." JJ sighed, glancing at his watch again, before double checking it on the second watch he wore on his other wrist.

"Well, you can talk to me till she gets there yeah? I was going to phone you earlier, but Emily needed sister time, she's going round to talk to Naomi." Katie explained, lowering her voice so that Emily, who was in the bathroom checking her hair yet again, didn't hear.

"That's good, if they're talking, maybe they'll be able to get back together." JJ smiled, surprised at how sincere he was, surprised that he didn't feel jealous, he didn't feel anything.

"Yeah I bloody hope so, sick and tired of Ems moping around." Katie laughed, before starting a conversation about some TV programme she'd instructed JJ he had to watch.

**

Emily started to creep down the stairs, hoping Katie's loud raucous laughter, would cover up the sound of her making her getaway. She couldn't really understand what was going on with her sister at the moment, this bizarre friendship with the boy she'd so nicely called a 'mong.' At least their was nothing romantic going on, Katie had assured her that James had simply got the wrong end of the stick. It was too strange for Emily to contemplate, considering what had happened between her and JJ, the thought create a slight shudder to course through her body. It wasn't that she didn't like JJ, he was a good friend, the sweetest guy, but thinking about him with Katie... It didn't make any logical sense.

Emily sighed, checking both ways to see if the coast was clear for her to make a dash to the front door. She was desperate to see Naomi, what had happened earlier, watching some other girl with Naomi had made her feel sick, driven her insane with jealousy, and Naomi was right, if they weren't together then she would move on eventually. Could Emily watch Naomi with someone else? The answer was simply no, so they needed to work something out.

Grabbing hold of the handle, Emily felt a chill as a hand was placed over hers. The cold, rough touch and perfectly manicured nails of her mother. Freezing Emily slowly turned around to see Jenna looking back at her.

"Where are you off to Emily?" Jenna sighed, knowing perfectly well where Emily would be going. Clearly the break up hadn't lasted long, was there any way that Jenna could control this, stop this?

"I'm going to... Erm Panda's. English project." Emily rushed, trying not to look at her mother. Wanting to rip her hand away, but it was still enclosed in Jenna's tight grip.

"You've used that excuse too many times. Emily we have an agreement, you're not to see Naomi, you're grounded. Now I let you go to that party because you were with Katie and you stayed at that nice JJ's house. But I can't trust you to go out alone darling." Jenna explained, trying to stroke Emily's hair affectionately, trying to stop Emily from hating her.

"Mum please, please let me go. Please don't do this." Emily begged, feeling her voice shake, knowing that she was going to cry.

"I know you don't understand, but I'm doing this for you, please Emily just go upstairs." Jenna begged, feeling herself begin to crack slightly, because she loved her daughter and she was falling apart in front of her.

"Why can't you just love me for who I am." Emily questioned, trying to brush away a tear desperately, not wanting to look weak in front of her mother.

"Jen you've got to stop this." Rob's voice cut through the tension, he desperately wanted to wrap his arms around his little girl and stop her from hurting. He couldn't agree with what his wife was doing.

"I love you more than you will ever know, and when you have children Emily you will understand this. This desire to protect them from everything, to stop people from hurting them. I'm doing this because I love you." Jenna insisted, pleading with both Rob and Emily.

"Come on darling, come in the living room with me." Rob smiled gently, wrapping his arm around Emily, knowing that they wouldn't get past the front door, with Jenna standing guard. Emily tried to work out what she would do, how she would get to Naomi now, knowing that Naomi was waiting for her and she was letting her down.

Jenna started to follow, shocked when her husband shut the living room door in her face, making it perfectly clear that she wasn't welcome. Emily immediately flung herself on her father, gripping on tightly as he wrapped her in a warm hug, trying to calm her as the tears began to flow. Guiding her to the sofa, Emily crushed herself into her fathers side, as he stroked her hair, letting her cry.

Outside Jenna slid down the door, tears of her own falling as she heard her daughters sobs from inside the living room. Curling herself up, she rested against the door. She was doing the best for Emily, she told herself, she always did the best for her children.

Finally starting to breathe normally again, Emily managed to stop crying, smiling slightly at the massive wet patch she'd created on the side of Rob's T-shirt. Noticing what she was smiling at, Rob let out a chuckle, before leaning down to kiss Emily's forehead.

"Talk to me kid." Rob urged, Emily looked like she so desperate needed to talk and he wanted to listen, to understand. It had come as a shock to him, that night that his little Emily had announced so unceremoniously that she had been 'nailing' another girl. He'd laughed it off, ignored what she was saying, but as he'd jogged to the gym that night, iPod blaring, he knew that it was true. Since then he'd noticed it more and more, the way that he would be sneakily glancing at some woman with nice boobs on the television, and he'd spot James glazing over lustfully, but also Emily with that identical ravenous look, whilst Katie and Jenna were far more interested in what clothes the girl was wearing.

"I broke up with Naomi, because of mum, but I can't do it, I can't be without her. I love her so much dad." Emily explained, knowing that her dad understood, because he gripped her even tighter.

Rob knew that Emily was genuine, that she truely did love this Naomi. It was the way she looked before she went out to meet her, the way she smiled when she got a text message. The one time he'd been out for a run and he'd seen them, holding hands and walking along, and they reminded him of when he'd fallen in love with Jenna. Teenagers who couldn't bare to be apart, he'd known then that he'd love Jenna forever, and he was pretty certain that Emily would love Naomi forever. Rob had decided in that moment, that love was love, and it didn't matter if it was between a man and a woman, two fellas or two girls. Rob was just grateful that someone was looking after his little girl, treating her right and protecting her. The not being able to accidently impregnate her thing was quite handy too, Rob considered, one less daughter to worry about. Really though, he couldn't understand Jenna's reasoning for trying to stop this, she was making Emily unhappy. They'd vowed that their kids would always come first, and for the first time in their marriage, they were disagreeing so completely over something so important.

"I don't know what to do Emsy. I keep talking to her, but she's so determined you're not doing this for the right reasons. That you're trying to find a separate identity to our Katie." Rob explained, he felt so completely at a loss, to side with either of two of the three most important women in his life, would hurt the other.

"Fuck dad, do you think if I just wanted to be different to Katie, that's I choose something so bloody difficult. Do you think I just jumped into this lightly and thought being gay would be something fun to do! Coming to terms with this, understanding this, who I am, was the hardest thing I've done. To then have my parents completely reject me and who I am, it hurts, it really bloody hurts." Emily snapped, sick and tired of this excuse that her mother was constantly justifying her actions with.

"Baby, I love you, exactly the way you are. I want to make this better for you, but I love your mother, I'm scared if I oppose her I'll lose her." Rob admitted, knowing that recently his marriage had been on far shakier grounds than it had ever been before, all the arguments, the tension.

"I don't want to break the family up with this. That's why I ended things with Naomi. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm gay, whether I'm with Naomi or not dad." Emily explained, she hated making her parents argue, she didn't want to be the cause of this, it was the most impossible situation to be in.

The door creaking open, made both Rob and Emily look up. Jenna stood in front of them, mascara stained cheeks and panda eyes, taking a deep breath as she scooped Emily up into her arms. Holding on so tightly, desperately.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry my darling, I'm so sorry." Jenna whispered, sobbing as she stroked Emily's hair. Looking up to receive a look of approval and a smile from her husband. "I love you, unconditionally."

Emily looked up, confused, was her mother accepting this? Jenna leaned in and kissed Emily's forehead. Smiling as if to confirm what Emily was thinking.

"I'm going to start getting my head around this. I'm going to really try, and I mean it Emily. I have always loved you, and I will always love you." Jenna promised. "You should probably get going, if that Naomi is waiting for you."

Emily could hardly contain the wide grin that spread across her face, kissing her mother and then her father, before practically sprinting out the door. Leaving Rob and Jenna alone, Rob holding onto Jenna tightly.

"I'm proud of you." Rob whispered.

**

Naomi checked the clock again, it was eight and Emily was an hour late. Naomi sighed, flicking her half finished cigarette out the window, trying not to get upset, but it was hard because Emily wasn't here. Maybe she'd changed her mind, maybe she should give up on Emily Fitch, because it was hurting far too much to be in love with her at the moment. Naomi's phone buzzed with a text message, clambering for it, she was disappointed to see the message wasn't from Emily, but Ruby.

_Back with the gf? Or in need of a few vodka shots at the pub? x_

Naomi chewed her lip contemplatively, should she stay and wait for an Emily that might never come. Or go out and drown her sorrows, the more she thought about it, the more the answer became clear.

_Pub. Lets get fucked up. x_

Naomi, brushed her hair, ran to the kitchen to leave a note for her mother, grabbed her bag and headed out the door. The coolness of the night hitting her, sending a chill down her body, it was times like this she wished she had Emily's warm hand in hers. She needed to stop thinking of Emily though, starting thinking about herself, because really, Naomi thought, the only person in life you can trust is yourself.

**

Emily practically sprinted to Naomi's, she was fully aware of just how late she was, and her phone was still with Jenna from when she'd confiscated it the other day. Emily hadn't though to ask for it back, there would be plenty of time for that. As Emily ran she felt free, finally free, because with her family onside, anything was possible.

Spotting Naomi's house, Emily practically crashed into Gina who was opening the door, having arrived home from work. Smiling at Emily, Gina welcomed her in the house, the two of them wandering into the kitchen. Gina glad that things were returning back to normal, shouting for Naomi to come down and join them.

It was Emily that spotted the scrawled note on the kitchen table, recognising it instantly as Naomi's writing. Feeling her heart ache as she read the words on the page.

_Gone to the pub with a friend, I'll text you if I'm staying out all night._


	10. Dance To This Beat, & Hold A Lover Close

**Thank you for the lovely reviews, seriously they've made me smile so much. Now this is a very long chapter, sorry about the length, got a little carried away!**

The second Naomi spotted Ruby, she felt herself break into a smile, allowing herself to forget Emily and any pain that was associated with her. The two of them made their way to Keith's pub, knowing it was the only place that would serve underage teenagers so freely. The downsides to Keith's pub were Keith himself, and the fact that it normally contained Cook. Tonight was no exception as Cook, Freddie, Effy and Pandora all sat huddled round a table, walking in Cook immediately spotted Naomi and called for her.

"Naomikins, come see your Uncle Cookie!" Cook called, making Naomi laugh as she pulled Ruby along to meet her friends. Slightly nervous what they would think, pre-empting some kind of reaction from Effy, who could read something into any situation whether it was there or not. "Who is your friend? Fit!" Cook called, interrupting Naomi's thoughts.

"Gay." Naomi replied simply, ignoring Effy raising her eyebrow as she noticed the slight electricity between the two girls in front of her. Instead concentrating on Cook, whose face dropped with disappointment. Naomi wasn't sure why she felt the need to promote Ruby's sexuality, why she was so desperate to get Cook's leering eyes off of her, it must be a friend thing.

"Shit, all the fucking decent girls these days are giving up on the cock! Clearly they've never experienced mine!" Cook laughed, winking at Ruby, who deliberately chose a seat next to Cook, resting her hand on his thigh, enjoying watching him squirm. Ruby leaned in and whispered something in his ear that put a massive grin on his face, Naomi watched carefully, wanting to know what it was she'd said that had put Cook in such a good mood.

"She said she's bi." Effy announced, having lip-read the whisper. Announcing it to put Naomi out of her misery. Watching Naomi's face change, the slight look of annoyance that Ruby was sitting with Cook. "Fucking sit down Naomi."

Naomi did as she was told, planting herself in between Effy and Pandora. Trying to ignore Effy, because frankly it was bloody annoying having a friend that just knew bloody everything. Even before Naomi knew half the time.

"You fancy her." Effy muttered in Naomi's ear, Naomi turning to glare at her, hating the knowing smile that Effy was giving her. Hoping that Ruby was paying no attention to the mostly wordless exchanges that were occurring between herself and Effy.

"No Emily tonight?" Pandora questioned, confused when everyone shot her an exasperated look, clearly Pandora had forgotten that Naomi and Emily had split up. Unaware of the awkwardness that surrounded her.

"Emily and me, we're not together anymore Panda." Naomi explained, her voice quivering when she said it, because it just didn't sound right, the words felt wrong. Emily was supposed to be here, like every other night they'd spent together in this pub, small touches, lingering glances, hands resting on thighs to create a fire that would try them both insane with desire until they could go home (or that one occasion where they tried the toilets of Keith's pub, vowing never again, because they were a public health hazard. And seriously, no matter how hot your girlfriend is, you can't help but be distracted by that.)

"Oh... Are you two together then." Pandora asked, pointing at Naomi and Ruby. Wincing slightly, when Effy delivered a swift kick to her best friends shin.

"Pandora shut up." Effy sighed, giving her a stern look, knowing that Pandora was simply adding to the awkwardness that was already lingering in the room.

"I'm only blimmin' asking! No one tells me anything round here, I can barely keep up with you lot!" Pandora complained, rubbing her sore shin, almost on the verge of tears which made Effy feel a little bad. Naomi gave Pandora's arm a little squeeze to assure her that it was ok, that she wasn't angry.

"No we're not Panda, we're just friends. I should probably introduce you, everyone this is Ruby, Ruby this is Freddie, Effy, Pandora and the cock head you're sat next to is Cook." Naomi smiled, shooting a glare at Cook, which he responded to with a wink.

"Nice to meet you." Ruby smiled, taking in the group of seemingly very different people. Laid back and beautiful Effy, sweet if a little strange Pandora, angst-ridden dreamer Freddie and finally the charming yet utterly vile Cook. Never would she have associated Naomi with these people, but they worked, fitted, a group of misfits clinging together for comfort and company.

"Right come on guys, drinking games! I wanna get drunk and I wanna have fun, and if this game is to involve a bit of snogging then that would make it even more fun." Winking at Ruby, Cook flashed one of his dirty grins to the group, nudging Freddie to try to gain support for his idea.

"Why would it involve snogging?" Naomi asked, none of the drinking games they'd played before had ever involved the meeting of lips. Christ, the group got around with each other enough as it was, they didn't need games to start a frenzy of snogging amongst them.

"Its a new game... Cook's game... It involves snogging." Cook insisted, trying to formulate some rules in his head, his basic plan was to get the girls snogging him, and the girls snogging each other. Whilst simultaneously getting Ruby drunk enough to want to shag him, or failing that, he was pretty sure Effy wouldn't mind another round with the Cookie monster.

"I'm up for it." Ruby shrugged, surprising Naomi, and exciting Cook into such a frenzy that the group thought they might have to restrain him.

"Me too." Effy smiled, grinning wickedly at Naomi before giving a subtle look to Cook that wasn't missed by a heartbroken Freddie.

"No way, not me, Thommo wouldn't like it." Pandora explained, removing herself from the game. Her relationship had been more than a little unsteady since Thomas found out about her relations with Cook. It was best to keep away from anything like this.

"Right well Panda you're the referee of Cook's awesome drinking game, I'll go and get us some shots." Cook grinned, practically bouncing to the bar as the barmaid stacked a tray with a succession of shots.

"We don't have to play Eff, we can choose not to play." Freddie almost pleaded, he wanted Effy to stand up and refuse to play, wanted her to be like Panda and acknowledge that she couldn't play because she had someone that was too important to her to want to play. Freddie wanted Effy to acknowledge him.

"I want to play." Effy insisted plainly, not meeting Freddie's lovelorn gaze. Ignoring Naomi's judgmental eye-roll and pretending she didn't see the look of immense confusion on Panda's face.

"Right." Freddie replied softly, downing the contents of his pint glass. Realising he'd need a lot more alcohol inside of him, just to stop his heart from aching.

"Sorry about this." Naomi leaned over the table, smiling at Ruby who was tearing a piece of paper into little strips. Writing little dares on them, trying to make Cook's game a little more exciting.

"Don't apologise, your friends are cool." Ruby nodded, scribbling on the paper, Naomi trying to catch a glance of the words, but failing to see what dares Ruby had in store for the group.

**

"Drink this. I'll send a text to madam and tell her she needs to get her arse back here." Gina smiled, placing the steaming mug of green tea in front of Emily, kissing her cheek before rummaging around in her bag to find her Nokia 3310.

"Gina don't worry about it. I was late, Naomi obviously thought I wasn't coming so she's gone out instead. We should just let her go out and enjoy herself." Emily sighed, blowing on the mug of steaming liquid, trying to ignore the fact that her heart was aching a little bit.

"She should have waited. She's been moping round here since the two of you parted ways, and I've had enough. It's about bloody time you got back together, even Pauline thinks you should get back together." Gina explained, hurrying around, frustrated when she got the voicemail of Naomi's phone.

"Pauline?" Emily questioned looking up at Gina, raising her eyebrow in confusion as she tried to remember which of GIna's many friends was called Pauline.

"That stray cat that keeps coming to the backdoor, it seemed weird just calling her cat so I've named her Pauline." Gina smiled, Emily trying to stifle laughter at the absurdity of the comment, but at the same time completely enjoying being back in Naomi's house with Gina who she dearly loved.

"So a cat thinks me and Naomi should get back together?" Emily asked, rolling her eyes. Taking a sip from the mug, trying not to recoil at the fact that it tasted a bit like hedge, before meeting Gina's gaze again.

"The whole bloody world thinks you and Naomi should get back together. She's a miserable bugger without you Emily!" Gina laughed, trying the phone again but still getting Naomi's voicemail. "Darling daughter will you pick up your bloody phone, there's a beautiful redhead waiting in the kitchen for you. So hurry on home, or else I'll have to pull out the baby pictures Naomi, don't think I won't!"

All Emily could do was laugh, if she had to be stuck waiting for Naomi with anyone, she was glad it was Gina.

**

"...Well then Tom said that we would have to break up because he was moving away, and I was pretty upset, but I think I'm over it... Though I'm wearing the dress that Tom bought me, and my mum said that was a little weird, considering I'm on a date with you, but I think it's a waste of a good dress if I don't wear it don't you think?" Jodi stuttered, launching into yet another conversation that concerned her ex-boyfriend, JJ could tell she was nervous, and he wasn't completely sure if she even was aware how every story centered on her ex, but still it was a little off-putting.

You've talked about him quite a lot tonight." JJ hinted, hoping that Jodi would realise what she was doing, and change the subject to something else.

"Tom always said I talked a lot, a lot about him, he liked it though." Jodi smiled nervously, not quite picking up on what she was doing wrong here. She stabbed at a piece of carrot with her fork, and chewed quietly.

"Well, that's because you were talking about him." JJ tried to explain, of course her ex-boyfriend enjoyed her talking about him! Why couldn't she see however, that talking about your ex whilst on a date with someone else, probably wasn't the best seduction tactic.

"Yeah... So you should totally meet Tom next time he comes to visit, you'd get on really well." Jodi continued, completely oblivious to JJ's frustration.

"He comes to visit?" JJ asked, his eyes widening at the prospect of going out with a girl who regularly received visits from her ex.

"Yeah, we're still pretty close." Jodi explained, her fingers caressing the bracelet her ex had bought her the last Christmas. Finally understanding that maybe she wasn't exactly being the best date in the world.

"You're not really into this date are you? If you're thinking about someone else..." JJ sighed, sipping at his water. Trying to give Jodi a supportive smile, because it wasn't her fault that she was still in love with someone else. Love was uncontrollable.

"I'm not... It's just Tom sometimes says... " Jodi tried to defend, giving up on her defence when she realised that nothing JJ was saying was untrue, she really couldn't stop thinking about Tom. As nice as JJ was, she couldn't be dating right now.

"Jodi, I think you're lovely. But I really don't think you're over your ex. Maybe you should get back with him?" JJ suggested, realising that it was probably strange to spend a date convincing the girl that she should get back together with her ex-boyfriend. Jodi was nice though, and she deserved to be happy, and JJ was pretty sure he was as uninspired by this date as she was.

"You think so?" Jodi asked with a nervous smile, blushing as she though about the possibility.

"Do you love him?" JJ questioned, because if the answer was yes, then he believed the solution was simple.

"I love him loads." Jodi admitted, butterflies in her stomach fluttering as she thought about him.

"How does he feel about you?" JJ asked, leaning across the table sightly, smiling at Jodi to let her know that it was ok that this date had turned out like this. That he wasn't offended or upset.

"He didn't want us to split up, it was just the distance y'know." Jodi explained, threading her fingers together nervously.

"Maybe you should go and phone him, have a chat with him, talk things over. I'll pay up here. Let me know how it goes, ok?" JJ smiled supportively, gesturing for the waiter to come over, pulling out his wallet.

"JJ you're being too lovely, you should be shouting at me right now. You certainly shouldn't be paying for the meal." Jodi squirmed, she was blushing, embarrassed at the situation. It seemed very strange that JJ was taking it so well.

"You were a wonderful date, and I'm sure we'll be great friends. My heart isn't really in it either if I'm honest." JJ shugged, placing his hand supportively on Jodi's arm, to let her know that everything was ok.

"Is it Katie Fitch?" Jodi asked shyly, she noticed the shock on JJ's face and wondered if she'd crossed the line slightly.

"Katie?" JJ asked confused, he wasn't sure if it was anyone, he just knew that this date didn't feel right. Jodi was lovely, but he didn't feel the pull towards her that he'd felt with other girls.

"Don't get embarrassed JJ, I've seen the way the two of you look at each other." Jodi smiled, she'd also heard a couple of JJ's friends gossiping about it.

"We're just friends, me and Katie are just friends." JJ stuttered, growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute. He truely didn't know what to say, but as he started to think about it, he wondered whether Jodi might be right.

"Oh sorry I must have got the wrong end of the stick. Thank you for a wonderful night JJ, i'm sorry I wasn't much company." Jodi hurried, placing a small kiss on JJ's cheek, before hurrying off out of the restaurant.

"That's ok..." JJ sighed, knowing that he needed to go and see Katie, he had to see her now.

**

"Right well your choice is... A snog with me, or Ruby has to give you a lovebite on any part of your body, below the neck!" Cook cheered, pulling out the dare from the collection of folded pieces of paper that sat in a pint glass in the center of the table. This was going to be good Cook thought, because quite frankly, either way he was going to win. "Come on Naomikins, we've done this before, fancy round two?"

"I'd rather eat cat turd." Naomi replied acidly, before realising that the other option was just as off-putting, but for completely different reasons.

"Well Rubes, you better get choosing a body part for tasting!" Cook laughed wickedly, rubbing his hands together with glee at the thought of the sexy moment to come.

Ruby stood up, smiling awkwardly at Naomi, she could see that Naomi wasn't exactly comfortable with what was about to happen. Cook leering wasn't exactly helping either, nor was the look that Effy was giving to Naomi.

"Stomach ok?" Ruby laughed, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. Dropping to her knees, Pandora was giggling, Freddie and Cook were nudging each other and cheering, Naomi blushing as she pulled up her T-shirt high enough to allow Ruby access. Naomi let out a little gasp at the sensation of a mouth on her torso, kissing and sucking, trying to put enough pressure to leave a mark. Naomi tried not to close her eyes, tried not to look like she was enjoying this, breathing a sigh of relief as Ruby broke away.

"That was fucking hot! Christ Rubes come and suck this!" Cook shouted, motioning towards his crotch, Ruby walked over and gave him a playful punch on the shoulder, sitting down and downing a shot.

Naomi touched her stomach, pulling her top down to cover up the mark, laughing to try and pretend that it wasn't awkward. In the process knocking her bag on the floor, her phone spilling out. Reaching for the phone, she could see numerous missed phonecalls and texts all from her mother, noticing a voicemail she excused herself from the group so that she could listen to it.

**

Rob pulled himself up off the sofa at the sound of the doorbell, Jenna groaned at the loss of warmth, having been cuddled up on the sofa with her husband. The two of them enjoying a film together. Swinging the front door open, Rob looked over to the tall curly haired boy in front of him, recognising him as the same boy that had taken his Emily to the Love Ball.

"Hello Mr. Fitch. You might remember me, I'm Jonah, Jonah Jeremiah Jones, or JJ to my friends. I've come to speak to Katie if I may." JJ smiled, feeling slightly intimidated by Rob, especially as he flexed his muscles.

"Katie you say? She's upstairs doing her homework, I don't know if I should really be interrupting her." Rob sighed, crossing his arms and trying to stare JJ down.

"Well I've come to help her with her homework actually Mr. Fitch. I'm very good at History, I got an A grade in my recent results, so I've come to give Katie a bit of tutoring." JJ smiled, knowing that he wasn't very good at lying, but also knowing it would be very difficult to get past Rob otherwise.

"Right then lad, you better get upstairs. But tell Katie that the bedroom door stays open the whole time and if I hear that bed creek in the slightest, I'll be up there so fast you won't even hear me coming." Rob threatened, letting JJ walk past, eyeing him suspiciously as he climbed the stairs.

JJ knocked on the door nervously, taking a deep breath as he waited for Katie to open it. She was surprised to see him, but she let him walk in, watching as he sat himself down on the edge of Emily's bed. Katie went to shut the door, but JJ motioned to her not to.

"Your dad doesn't want the door shut. He doesn't want me to take advantage of you, if he hears anything that sounds even remotely like sexual activity, he's going to render me unable to reproduce." JJ stuttered, his hand consciously covering his package, at the thought of Rob launching any kind of attack on him.

"Why aren't you on your date?" Katie asked, feeling her heart race slightly. JJ really did look nice, and his aftershave smelt so good, it was ridiculous, but the blue of his eyes was far more mesmerizing than Katie had ever realised.

"We're incompatible, and both like other people." JJ explained, smiling at Katie as she sat down on her bed, their knees almost touching across the gap between the beds.

"She still hung up on her ex? Suppose you're still thinking about Emily right?" Katie sighed, was there really no way of stopping JJ lusting after her sister? It was wrong, and stupid and she hated it.

"I don't like Emily. I don't have any feelings for Emily, what happened with Emily was never right and I wish it hadn't happened. I wish I'd waited for someone special, for someone right..." JJ muttered, needing Katie to understand that

It was an overwhelming desire, a need, and it wasn't pity. It was everything that Katie wanted, with the person she never dreamt she would fall for. Leaning in and kissing him, it felt different to before, because she was embracing this feeling, not telling herself that it was all a game.

"Is this a lesson?" JJ stuttered, pulling his head away. He was confused, because though he'd just worked out his own feelings. He certainly didn't think that whatever he felt was going to be reciprocated.

"No. It's a kiss." Katie sighed, gently kissing JJ's neck, pulling back to enjoy the look of astonishment and passion on JJ's face. He wasn't like other boys she'd been with, always expecting more. They didn't need more, because a kiss had never felt so intense or intimate before.

"Are you kissing me?" JJ whispered, not quite believing what was happening, taking Katie's hand, holding it as if he was checking that she was real, to confirm to himself that this wasn't a dream, this was really happening.

"Do you want me to stop?" Katie asked, steadying herself on JJ's arms, holding herself upright. She reached out and let her hand stroke along JJ's jawline, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers.

"No... I really don't." JJ managed, feeling Katie's lips collide with his once again, pulling her close. Letting Katie take control, because he was so nervous, her tongue quickly finding its way into his mouth. JJ didn't think he'd ever felt anything quite so wonderful in his entire life.

**

Naomi stormed through the front door of her house, not even walking into the kitchen, she called out from the hallway to Emily.

"Upstairs! Now!" Naomi snapped, thumping up the stairs and pacing round her bedroom. Waiting until she heard Emily's gentle footsteps, making their way up to Naomi's room. The door creaking open, the sweet and nervous looking redhead looking at her.

"So you're here are you?! Fucking hell Ems you're only what, three hours late?" Naomi yelled, all the anger and frustration that had been building up inside her being released in one burst. Emily almost looked scared, she'd never seen Naomi like this before.

"I couldn't get out. I couldn't get out of the house, my mum..." Emily trailed, nervously wringing her hands together and she tried to explain. Knowing from the look on Naomi's face that whatever she said was useless.

"I can't do this anymore, we really are over." Naomi shouted, rubbing at her eyes, feeling like she could cry but trying to be strong enough not to. When she pulled her hand away, she was confronted by Emily, hovering so close she could feel every breath.

Grabbing hold of Naomi, Emily kissed her with such an intensity Naomi thought she would fall over. Emily was desperate, needed to explain everything, hoping that her kisses would do most of the talking.

"I want us to get back together." Emily whispered, pulling herself away slightly, before leaning back in, placing gentle kisses along Naomi's jawline. Savoring the taste of Naomi's skin, something that felt more and more amazing each time she kissed it.

"Quit playing fucking games!" Naomi snapped, pushing Emily away fiercely, the force of the movement shocking even her, as she fell back against the bed.

Emily staggered, finding her footing, before launching another attack on Naomi, desperate to show her that she was serious. Naomi being on the bed was perfect for Emily, it made it easier to crawl on top of her, their eyes meeting, questioning each other before finding the answer. This time it was Naomi that leant in to capture Emily's lips, her heart racing, knowing that this was right. They kissed desperately, Emily's hands moving under Naomi's top, caressing her skin. Naomi shuffled, sitting up slightly so that she could pull off Emily's top. The groan that she released at the sight, making Emily giggle, Naomi sticking her tongue out at Emily, making quick work of pulling off Emily's bra whilst she was distracted.

"Bloody hell, someone's keen." Emily laughed, feeling very exposed, but the look on Naomi's face quickly gave her back her confidence.

"Emily... You're serious right, you want this, you want me?" Naomi asked nervously, feeling Emily pressing up against her, not quite sure if she could stop this now even if Emily's answer wasn't the one she wanted.

"I love you, we should be together." Emily smiled, leaning in and whispering in Naomi's ear. "Be my girlfriend."

That was all it took for Naomi to force Emily upwards, flipping her over and taking control. Emily loved it when Naomi took charge, kissing down Emily's body, loving it as she squirmed in excitement.

"Lose this." Emily murmured , tugging at Naomi's T-shirt. Naomi obliged, shrugging off her T-shirt, tossing it aside before leaning back in to carry on kissing Emily's. Noticing that Emily was no longer responding, she was laying stiffly, which made Naomi pulled back aside.

"What?" Naomi breathed, confused at Emily's expression.

"What the fuck is that?" Emily asked, pointing to the very red, and very obvious lovebite on Naomi's stomach. Pushing back Naomi aggressively, as Naomi tried to find an explanation.


	11. The Only Thing I Really Know

**The reviews and support has been amazing, you know what you guys deserve? Something nice(ish)...**

It amazed Naomi the speed that Emily could move when she was upset, within seconds she's pulled on her bra and was reaching for her top. Naomi was determined to fix this though, there was no way she was letting Emily walk away from her again. Flying to her feet, Naomi managed to grab hold of Emily, clinging on despite her desperation to get away.

"Emily this isn't what you think." Naomi rushed desperately, trying to meet Emily's eyes, pleading with Emily to let her explain. All she needed to do was tell Emily the truth, let her know that it was just Cook's stupid game.

"What the fuck is it then? Because it looks like exactly what I think it is." Emily spat bitterly, wanting to get as far from Naomi as possible. Because the thought of Naomi having sex with someone else was making her feel sick.

"No Ems, you don't get to walk away again. You have to stay here and listen to me, because this was nothing but a pathetic fucking dare." Naomi demanded, pointing to the red mark on her stomach. Wishing she'd never played the stupid game, wishing she'd just kissed Cook instead.

"But it was her right? She did it, she kissed you, she did this." Emily stuttered angrily, wishing you could wipe the lovebite away, erase it from Naomi's body and mark her in her own way. Make Naomi hers again.

"It was the dare, I didn't get to fucking choose. We were all fucking kissing, kissing and drinking. It was nothing, just a stupid drinking game. Cook's stupid game." Naomi defended anxiously needing Emily to believe it didn't mean anything.

"So you've been getting around tonight then! Fucking hell Nai, did you have fun?!" Emily laughed, shaking her head as Naomi reached out for her hand.

"Don't be like this! They're my friends, I don't sleep with my friends." Naomi bit back, regretting her words immediately, knowing that a reference to Emily's mistake with JJ probably wasn't the best thing to bring up in the middle of an argument.

"Oh thats a dig at me is it! Great, lovely to know that every single disagreement we have comes back to one mistake I made before we were even together." Emily raged, tears streaming down her face, her hands shaking.

"Maybe we weren't official, but there was something happening, there was something between us and you still went and had sex with someone else Emily. So excuse me if I ask you to turn a blind eye to a fucking lovebite I got playing a drinking game!" Naomi snapped, they'd never really discussed Emily and JJ together, Naomi had just bypassed it and now she was finally releasing the hurt.

"Fuck off you self righteous bitch!" Emily screeched, surprising even herself with the tone of her voice.

"Fuck you right back Emily! You just waltzed into my life, messed everything up and then you go and walk away from me. You made me fall in love with you, just to break my heart!" Naomi screamed back, intimidating the smaller girl with her aggression, bursting into tears as she started talking about her feelings. Trying to hide her face because crying made her feel so week.

"Well maybe its payback for all the times you broke mine, i'm not quite sure how many it will take before we're even, I lost count after a while..." Emily whispered bitterly, wiping away Naomi's tears with her thumb, because she just couldn't help but care.

"Why are you so bloody frustrating! I fucking love you Emily, I though we were going to make love and instead you pick up something completely ridiculous!" Naomi sighed, wrapping her hand over Emily's, holding on as tightly as she could.

"Ridiculous? You've got a lovebite on your stomach! That's not ridiculous, that means you had someone else kissing you, touching you." Emily choked, closing her eyes to block out the mental image.

"Emily! Don't be a twat, it was nothing. The only person I want touching me is you, the only person I want to be with is you! But you have so much going on with your family, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to explain to you that no matter how difficult things get i'm always going to be here." Naomi promised, pulling Emily even closer, desperate to eliminate the space between them.

Emily didn't know what to say, there were no words, nothing but the kiss she pressed to Naomi's mouth. Her tears mingling with Naomi's, Naomi muttering whispered 'sorrys' everytime Emily broke away for a breath. Emily could feel Naomi's hands working down her body again, obviously wanting to carry on from where they'd left off earlier

"Lets not... I can't... Do you mind if we just...?" Emily murmured, looking up at a confused Naomi, before pulling her into an embrace. "Lets not rush this."

"Its fine, I just want to hold you. I just want you to be here when I wake up." Naomi nodded, trying to suppress her hormones, which was difficult considering she'd been all worked up on more than one occasion tonight. But she respected what Emily wanted, leading her to the bed, wrapping her in a warm embrace. Placing soft and gentle kisses to her neck, both girls crying and holding each other as close as possible, laughing at themselves as Naomi tightly wrapped the duvet around them.

**

"Oh wow, oh bobbins, wow." JJ stuttered, pulling back suddenly, leaving Katie looking very confused and surprised. She gently touched her lips where JJ's had been, missing the contact.

"What's wrong?" Katie asked, shakily reaching out to grab hold of JJ's hand. She wondered whether she'd done something to upset him, he certainly looked distressed.

"Why are you doing this Katie? You don't like me, you don't like boys like me." JJ muttered, blinking back a tear, he wondered whether this was some big joke, Katie would tell Cook and Freddie and they'd all laugh at him.

"JJ I do like you, I like you a lot. I'm bloody confused by it, but I know I like you." Katie insisted, kissing JJ's cheek, kissing away the tear that had escaped and was rolling down his face.

"Everyone thinks I'm and idiot. I'll never find anyone, people can't love people like me, I'm a mong, a spazzo, an autistic fuck!" JJ spat out angrily, holding his head in his hands. Shaking as he felt Katie's hands on top of his.

"You're JJ. Not any of those other things, I only see JJ." Katie smiled. "I don't understand why you'd like me. I'm a bitch, a cow, rude, horrible and nasty. I'm thick, nothing like Emily." Katie's face changing as she considered their differences.

JJ looked up surprised, he hadn't realised that Katie thought so little of herself, he'd always gone along with the facade she put up for everyone else, Katie Fitch, oozing with confidence. It was only now, as he looked into her eyes that he could see the real Katie Fitch, the one she hid away, the one that was insecure and truely beautiful, inside and out.

"Katie..." JJ started, not knowing what to say, all he could do was watch Katie stand up, breathing in deep shaky breaths.

"This shouldn't have happened. I'm not good enough for you, I'm not Emily, you can't just squint your eyes and pretend." Katie spat out, staring at herself in the mirror, reapplying her makeup, forcing on the mask that she wore, the fake Katie.

"Katie stop it, please let us just talk. I didn't mean you were a bad person, I just can't understand why you'd like me, it's my lack of self confidence, not you. I don't want you to be Emily, I want Katie." JJ begged, trying to get Katie's attention, fearing the moment was lost.

"You want a fuck, well find someone else! Just get out of here JJ, I don't want to do this anymore, this stupid plan, these stupid lessons. Forget it all!" Katie yelled, forcing JJ away from her roughly.

"You want people to believe you're different to this perceived image, then you go and act like this! I like you Katie, a lot, I like you. I know you. I know you love Lady Gaga, you can't stop listening to her album, which annoys Emily but you don't care. Your favourite movie is Dirty Dancing, you want someone to treat you like that, you want to dance with someone like that. You watch all that American plastic crap on television, but you don't really enjoy it, in fact you've fallen asleep during 'The Hills' more than once. You like reading, but you told Emily a couple of years ago that reading was for losers, so now you do it in secret, because you don't like being proved wrong. Emily is the most important person in your life, it scares you how much you rely on her, you always pretended it was her following you, but really it was you that needed her. It never really bothered you that she was gay, it didn't even bother you that people might think you're gay. It bothered you that Emily was so sure of love, so sure of who she is, you feel like a mess in comparison. But you're not, you're beautiful and intelligent, you're funny and special, you act like a bitch because it's easier for people to just automatically hate you, rather than try and then have them hate you." JJ sighed, listing off points about Katie felt like the most natural thing ever, he really did know Katie.

"JJ please go." Katie murmured, swallowing the lump in her throat. Watching as he wordlessly shook his head and made his way out of the room, leaving Katie to dissolve into tears.

**

"I could lay here forever." Emily sighed, her limbs still linked with Naomi's, they'd removed their trousers, but remained in underwear as Naomi respected Emily's request to take things slow. Emily placed her hand on Naomi's stomach once again, rubbing absentmindedly at the mark, hating that it was there, wishing she could just get rid of it.

"We could lay here forever, but there are a number of problems with the plan. We'd probably die of starvation or dehydration, so our forever wouldn't be that long at all. It's probably best if we do move at some point." Naomi chuckled, kissing the top of Emily's head, trying to ignore Emily's movements on her stomach.

"I am hungry actually." Emily grinned, her eyes pleading for Naomi to go and fetch her something.

"Ems it's one in the morning, you're seriously hungry?" Naomi sighed, laughing at the cute little pout that Emily was pulling, trying to look adorable enough to persuade Naomi to feed her.

"I love your sandwiches, have I ever mentioned how much I love your sandwiches?" Emily murmured, kissing Naomi's neck, teasing Naomi with her fingertips tracing lightly all over her body.

"Fucking hell, I need to get out of here, you my darling girlfriend are a tease! I'll go and make your bloody sandwich." Naomi sighed, pulling herself away from Emily reluctantly, kissing her forehead lightly before grabbing a T-shirt and pulling it on.

Making her way down the stairs, Naomi crept quietly, trying not to wake her mother. She didn't need to have worried though, the closer she got to downstairs, the louder she could hear a panicked squeal emerging from the kitchen. Tensing, she worried who could possibly have gotten into her house. Grabbing an umbrella from the coat-stand, Naomi armed herself, prepared to hurt whoever was in the kitchen.

"Oh my bloody god no! Why! Why!!!!" Gina squealed, tears in her eyes. Naomi tensed, biting her lip as she looked around the kitchen, the floor covered in the remains of a blackbird.

"Mum?" Naomi asked, raising an eyebrow as she watched her mother run out into the garden. Staring down a ginger cat who was licking herself happily whilst Gina just shot her an exasperated look.

"Why? Why Pauline?! I fed you! Why would you feel the need to commit such a vicious murder in my kitchen? Make love, not war! You're supposed to be a pacifist!" Gina sighed, turning back to Naomi who was trying to suppress her laughter.

"She's a cat. Cat's kill birds mum." Naomi reminded her mother, handing Gina a dustpan and brush to clean up Pauline's massacre.

"I thought my cat would be different." Gina pouted, wincing as she scraped up the bits of dead bird and numerous feathers. Dropping it ceremoniously into the bin, sighing as she plonked herself down at the kitchen table. "Anyway, what are you doing up?"

"Emily wants a sandwich." Naomi replied, searching the fridge for ingredients. Pulling out the bits and pieces and placing them on the breadboard.

"Oh so Emily's still here then?" Gina asked innocently, sipping at her cup of tea. Trying to contain her smile.

"You bloody know Emily's still here, don't be a cow. Anyway she'll be around a lot more, we're back together." Naomi shrugged, trying to make it seem like a random piece of information, when in fact it was the most exciting thing in the world to Naomi, and by the look on Gina's face, to her as well.

"Well darling, I'm more than a bit ecstatic. Emily's like the daughter I never had." Gina teased, ducking as Naomi threw a piece of bread in her direction.

"Fuck off. I always knew you bloody preferred Emily." Naomi huffed, buttering the slices of bread in front of her.

"Nonsense. I love you more than anyone else in this entire world." Gina smiled, kissing Naomi's cheek, laughing as Naomi rubbed at her cheek furiously afterwards. Trying not to smile at how happy her mother looked.

"You really like Emily don't you, you like her for me?" Naomi asked, she'd never really asked for Gina's opinion on her choice of partner before. She'd just assumed that Gina liked Emily.

"I think she's beautiful, clever, very brave and very patient for putting up with you. I think she's absolutely perfect." Gina nodded, finishing up her tea as she stifled a yawn, the early hour starting to effect her.

"I worry sometimes, because I think she's too perfect. I think i'm too in love with her, and I never believed any of that bollocks, especially not at this age." Naomi admitted, biting her lip as she considered her feelings, considered whether it was possible to love someone as much as she loved Emily.

"Love just sneaks up on you, I don't think it matters what age you are, it's just a case of when you stumble into the path of your soulmate." Gina mused, picking at a piece of stray lettuce that sat next to Naomi's sandwich.

"Do you ever think about him?" Naomi asked nervously, both women knowing exactly who they were talking about, the only man Naomi knew her mother had ever really loved.

"I can't help thinking about him, your eyes are a constant reminder. There are other things as well, parts of your personality. I wish I could claim you completely as my own, but I recognise so much of him in you." Gina admitted, stroking her daughters face, her soft features.

"That scares me." Naomi admitted, because if she truely was like her father, then it didn't matter how much the other person loved her, she would find a way to stumble and flee, just as he had.

"You're so much better than he ever was. He's an idiot for not sticking around, he missed out on raising one of the greatest humans I've ever had the pleasure of creating." Gina assured, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"Do you think he'd like me? Do you think he'd be ok... With the gay stuff you know?" Naomi asked, blushing, but it was something she'd wanted to ask for a long time. With her mum it was different, it was easy to tell her because she knew her mums love was unconditional, but her father, her was something completely different.

"Baby, you're Naomi. Your sexuality really doesn't matter, or define you for that matter. I love you regardless, and I think he would to. You should be proud of who you are, not worried of what people think of you." Gina explained, stroking Naomi's hair, hoping that her words were helping.

"You're a really amazing mum, you know that right?" Naomi asked, burying herself in her mothers arms, enjoying the familiar safety.

"Well I can't say it's something you tell me often, but it sounds good." Gina laughed, kissing Naomi's forehead again. "I need to get some sleep, and you need to get that sandwich to your gorgeous girlfriend. Look after her sweetheart."

Naomi nodded, watching her mother leave the room. Composing herself, Naomi grabbed the plate and made her way back up to bed.

**

"Katie? Katie are you in there, I need to talk." James called, knocking on Katie's bedroom door. Katie sat up, wiping her tears away before walking over to the door and letting her little brother into the room.

"What's up?" Katie sniffed, returning back to her bed, wrapping herself her duvet. Watching as James made himself comfortable on Emily's bed.

"Are you ok?" James asked, biting his lip, he could clearly see that Katie had been crying. He found that sisters were very complicated beings, but that it was quite nice to look after them, to check that they weren't upset.

"I'm fine, is that all you came to ask?" Katie questioned, a little snappier than she intended to be, regretting it when she saw James's face dropped.

"If I liked a girl, what would I say to her? Would I tell her she had nice tits? Or is that a little too forward?" James rushed, blushing as soon as he'd let slip the question.

"Oh... Right well don't talk about her tits, girls don't like a perv. Just ask her out." Katie shrugged, smiling at how nervous James looked, she'd never heard him talk about a girl before.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" James asked puzzled, he didn't think it could be as simple as just asking a girl and her saying yes.

"James you're a Fitch. Of course she'll say yes! We're fierce and fit!" Katie laughed, chucking her old teddy bear at James. He laughed back, leaning back on Emily's bed as he prepared to ask Katie a million more questions about the fine art of dating. Sometimes having a sister wasn't too bad at all.


	12. I Can Taste The Failure

There was nothing like it, it felt so good Naomi thought she would explode. It was so simple, nothing out of the ordinary, the simplicity of waking up next to the person you loved most in the world. Naomi was glad she'd woken up early, her alarm clock said it was only ten past six, normally she'd be annoyed at her body for jolting her awake, but this morning she was more than grateful. It meant she could just watch Emily sleep, it had been the smallest amount of time that they'd been apart, but it had felt like forever.

It was the way that Emily snuffled in her sleep, the way she moved, the way she shifted around like she was having the most exciting dream. It was the way Emily's hair fell over her eyes, the way her leg curled around on top of the duvet. It was everything about Emily that made Naomi love her. Over an hour passed, Naomi still watching Emily, silently chuckling at the drool that was collecting on her pillow.

"I love you beautiful girl." Naomi whispered, stroking away the hair from Emily's eyes. Placing the most gentle, light kiss to Emily's forehead, scared she would wake her up.

Nothing could wake Emily up though, Naomi was pretty sure that a marching band could make its way past her window, and Emily's sleep wouldn't falter in the slightest. A knock at the door broke Naomi's concentration, her mum popping her head around the door, grinning like crazy at her daughters happiness.

"Just wanted to know if you'd like a cup of tea love?" Gina smiled, clearly just wanting to check that everything was still alright with Naomi and Emily. Naomi sighed as Gina's faithful follower Pauline, sauntered in behind her, jumped up onto the bed and curled up below Naomi's feet.

"If you like. I'll have to try and wake Emily up though, which is easier said than done." Naomi laughed, she couldn't get annoyed with her mum today, not when she was so happy.

"Well, I'll bring up a couple of mugs in five minutes. Keep things decent darling, I don't want to walk in on a floor show." Gina teased, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Trying not laugh at Naomi's look of horror, ducking to avoid the pillow that was flying in her direction. "You've really got to stop throwing things at me!"

"I'll stop using you as target practice when you stop being a twat!" Naomi retorted, noticing Emily start to squirm next to her. Shooing her mother away, not wanting her special moment with Emily to be ruined by the prying eyes of Gina Campbell.

"Was that your mum?" Emily asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes as she pulled herself closer to Naomi, burying herself in Naomi's waiting arms.

"Yeah, she's bringing us a cup of tea. Think she just wanted to check we were still all loved up." Naomi smiled, pulling Emily's face towards hers, bringing their lips together. Naomi made an attempt to deepen the kiss, frowning as she felt Emily pull away.

"If you're mum's going to be back in a minute, then I don't think we should get into anything." Emily explained, placing a chaste kiss on Naomi's lips. "I don't think I'll be able to stop if we get started."

"Thought you wanted to take things slow?" Naomi asked, settling for stroking Emily's hair instead, even that amount of contact was proving a little too much for the pair.

"Yeah I forgot... I have the hormones of a thirteen year old boy, who's just stumbled upon an accidental glitch on the Sky television which gives him all the porn channels for free." Emily laughed, glazing over slightly at the thought, something that didn't go unnoticed by Naomi.

"Ems... Are you that thirteen year old boy?" Naomi asked, trying not to laugh as she watch Emily blush, she could just imagine Emily staring at the TV wide-eyed with amazement.

"I like to think of that week and a half as the golden age of my young life. Certainly taught me a thing or two." Emily admitted, breaking out into a massive grin at the look of shock on Naomi's face.

"Sometimes I wonder why I love you, you massive perv!" Naomi squealed, tickling Emily, knowing it would drive her girlfriend insane. Refusing to stop, despite Emily jolting and tensing as she tried to escape. The sudden movement scared the cat, who jumped up from Naomi's bed and made a desperate sprint towards the door.

"Oy stop it! You wouldn't have been squirming and screaming 'oh fuck Emily!' at the lake that night if I hadn't." Emily reminded her, finally pulling away from Naomi, climbing on top of her, grabbing hold of both wrists to make sure that Naomi couldn't tickle her anymore. Instead leaning in to kiss her.

"Emily Fitch... Educated by porn. Classy." Naomi teased, flipping Emily off her as she heard her mother creek on the stairs. Trying to regain her composure, before her bedroom door opened.

"Nothing wrong with pornography darling, it's perfectly natural to fulfill the desires of the curious mind. The feminist in me used to say that it's exploitation, but then I watched that documentary with that big breasted porn star, and she seemed pretty in control of her own destiny. She was certainly getting paid enough, so I'd say it's okay." Gina rambled, placing the cups of tea down on Naomi's bedside table, sitting down on the bed squashing Naomi's legs, as Emily tried to hide her embarrassment.

"Mum! Shut up!" Naomi warned, glaring at Gina, squeezing Emily's hand supportively under the covers.

"Oh I'm not trying to embarrass poor Emily, i'm just letting her know that it's perfectly okay. Remember when I caught you looking at that website with all the women Nai, and you told me that you'd been accidentally redirected, when in fact you were google searching for information on the mating habits of badgers for a biology project?" Gina began, oblivious to the horror on Naomi's face. "Well, of course I knew you were lying, it was fairly obvious you'd been 'enjoying' the website. So you see Emily, everyone does it!"

With that, the girls could only watch in amazement, as Gina made her way out of the room. The two girls frozen in amazement, it was a good minute before Emily burst out laughing, glancing over at Naomi who was biting her lip, her cheeks a bright crimson.

"Badgers hey?" Emily giggled, grabbing her mug of tea from the side, blowing the steam before taking a sip. Still keeping her eyes locked on Naomi.

"I fucking hate my mum." Naomi muttered, sliding under the covers to hide her embarrassment, as Emily continued to laugh. Things were starting to feel normal again,

**

_I have organised a club night tonight. Free entry for you my friends, a very good band will be playing. I hope to see you all. T x_

Katie smiled at the text on her phone from Thomas, she knew how much effort he put into putting together an amazing night. It was just a shame she didn't feel very much like going out clubbing. Still maybe a night of alcohol and good music would help clear some of the haze that was fucking up her brain at the moment.

Yawning Katie pulled herself up in bed, looking over to Emily's bed to find James curled up asleep. Remembering that they'd sat up most of the night, Katie giving James advice, Katie figured he must have nodded off at the same time as her, she didn't have the heart to wake him. Instead quietly getting up, she padded out into the hallway, bumping into her mother who was staring into James's empty room confused.

"Have you seen..." Jenna started, panicking at the sight of the empty bed, peering under James's bed just to check he wasn't hiding or something ridiculous.

"He's fast asleep in Emily's bed, we were talking last night, he must have just conked out." Katie explained, sleepily leaning into her mother, as Jenna wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a half hug.

"Had me worried there for a minute. Emily didn't come home then." Jenna trailed, taking a deep breath as she reminded herself that she had to be ok with this, or at least try to be. For Emily's sake.

"You know where she is though right?" Katie asked, not wanting to drop Emily in it if their mother was clueless. She was a little surprised she'd heard nothing from Emily, clearly things had gone well though if Emily hadn't come home.

"I told her to go, told her to go and be with that girl. I want her to be happy, I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing." Jenna admitted, sighing as she kissed the side of Katie's head. She hoped Katie might be able to help her, give her some advice over what was best. Because right now as a mother she felt completely lost.

"You are. Naomi loves Emily, and Emily loves Naomi, they just work mum, they fit together. Naomi makes her happy, you must have noticed how much happier and confident Emily is." Katie pointed out, trying to reassure her mother. She hoped that with their mum on side, that finally things in the family could start returning to normal, the tensions hadn't been nice for anyone, least of all Emily.

"You don't mind then, Emily being gay." Jenna asked, this having been the first time she'd really discussed things with her eldest daughter. She knew there had been tensions, she also remembered the conversation after Emily had outed herself, where Katie so desperately tried to convince her that Emily had been lying about the whole thing.

"She's still Emily. It was weird to get my head around at first, but you get used to it mum, I promise you, you'll get used to it. Emily's happier being herself, you can't ask her to be something she isn't." Katie smiled, gripping on to her mothers hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm scared though Katie, I'm scared she'll be made an outsider forever because of it. I'll never see her get married, she'll never have kids. She's losing so much." Jenna muttered, her voice cracking with emotion as she voiced her fears to Katie.

"She's losing nothing. She's happy. She can get married one day, and she can have kids. Just because she'll do things differently, doesn't mean she's losing anything. She's happier than I am at the moment." Katie explained, her stomach fluttering as she remembered sending away her potential happiness the night before.

"You don't have anyone special right now darling? Not used to seeing you without a boyfriend." Jenna smiled, it was true, she didn't think there had ever been a period of time where someone hadn't been wooing her daughter. Bringing her flowers, taking her out on dates.

"Things are a little confusing right now." Katie admitted, her hands shaking as she remembered the kiss with JJ. It really had confused her, it felt different to any kiss she'd had before. She truely believed for once, the person kissing her had really meant it.

"That boy that was here last night, Emily's friend. What was he doing here?" Jenna enquired, raising an eyebrow at the way Katie reacted. The way in which she blushed, the strange way she tensed up at the mention of him.

"Just talking." Katie muttered, not really wanting to elaborate any further.

"Good, he's not really your type of boy." Jenna hurried, remembering the very strange conversation she'd attempted with him before he'd accompanied her daughter to the Love Ball. The odd way in which he stuttered and blushed, not really making a lot of sense as the other boy, Freddie, had attempted to shush him.

"Isn't he?" Katie questioned, wondering what about JJ made him unworthy as a potential boyfriend. Was it possible her own mother didn't think she was good enough?

"He's erm. Well, you know he's 'special'" Jenna spluttered nervously, not quite knowing how to explain her particular prejudices against the boy. Realising she sounded just as bad as she had with Emily and Naomi.

"Fucking hell mum." Katie snapped, realising her mum really hadn't changed at all. No amount of effort would ever make her an accepting person. It pissed her off to hear someone be nasty to JJ, to think of him as different when if anything he was better, a better, more caring human being.

"I just mean that he has a number of issues, he's not really your type of boy." Jenna tried to explain, without sounding like the total bitch, she feared she was becoming.

"What's my type? Arsehole? Stuck up cheating wanker? General bastard?" Katie listed, realising that every single one of her ex's fitted into at least one of the categories, most of them fit neatly into all three.

"Katie! Don't be like that. You know I don't like you swearing." Jenna tutted, tightening her grip on Katie's hand as she realised that all these 'nice' boys that Katie had had in her life, really hadn't treated her daughter well at all.

"I think I'd be happy with JJ mum. Really happy." Katie shrugged, getting up and walking down the stairs. Leaving a shocked and puzzled Jenna alone to consider what her daughter had just said. When had she become so out of touch with her girls?

**

"Fucking hell my head." Ruby groaned, rolling over in the single bed. Her naked body pressing up against the broad figure sleeping next to her. Recoiling at the touch, Ruby rubbed her own eyes before meeting the baby blues of the guy next to her.

"Alright babes? Nice sleep? You have to admit the Cookie Monster has one hell of a comfy bed!" Cook grinned, bouncing up and down slightly, as if to illustrate just how amazing his bed was.

"What the fuck am I doing here? You don't seem like the kind of guy that lets girls stay to sleep after the fuck." Ruby asked, remembering some jibe from Effy the night before about making sure she had taxi money.

"Maybe I'm making an exception for you Rubes. Plus, you fell asleep, could hardly kick you out." Cook smiled, wrapping his arm around Ruby, not wanting her to know that he'd let her stay in his bed because he'd wanted her there, because he'd wanted to feel close to someone.

"Well, I should go now." Ruby explained, reaching down the side of the bed in an attempt to locate her underwear, failing to find any, she carried on scanning the room until Cook grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him.

"Don't. Stay yeah?" Cook suggested, realising that he was holding Ruby's hand, but not really minding because it felt quite nice. Not that he'd let her know that, he was fucking James Cook, he didn't do affection.

"Cook this was just sex yeah?" Ruby reminded him, confused by the way that Cook was looking at her. He was a guy, a pretty awful guy, but he knew what he was doing and she'd quite enjoyed the sex. She couldn't deal with him getting heavy though.

"Of course, I mean, I just thought we could have another go." Cook laughed, trying to disguise any hurt in his voice. He would at least get another shag out of this he decided.

"Right." Ruby replied, mentally assessing the pros and cons of such a decision.

"I don't even mind if you're thinking of Naomi the whole time." Cook added with a wicked grin, wondering if a certain gorgeous blonde was the reason for Ruby's frostiness this morning.

"Fuck off, she's a friend." Ruby growled, refusing to believe that she had fallen in any way for a girl she knew from day one was unattainable. She was fairly sure Naomi was back with Emily by now, and she was happy for them.

"Right, well then there's nothing stopping you from shagging me then." Cook pointed out, running his hands along Ruby's arms, grazing her breast with a cheeky smile on his face.

"Apart from the fact I'm now sober, and you're repulsive." Ruby replied, trying to remain frosty and calm, which was proving to be more and more difficult the more Cook touched her.

"Right so if I..." Cook started, not finishing his sentence as he slipped under the covers. Ruby gasping, as his mouth made contact with her skin, her hands working their way into his hair.

"Oh fucking hell!" Ruby screeched, closing her eyes, desperately imagining that it was someone else making her scream.

**

"Katie, Emily and Naomi! Welcome, welcome ladies, right to the front of the queue for my beautiful friends!" Thomas grinned, beckoning the twins and Naomi towards him. Naomi and Emily made their way to the front of the queue first, hands tightly interlaced, Katie following behind.

"Is anyone else here yet Thomas?" Katie asked, kissing her friends cheek as he greeted her. She kept looking around, searching the crowds for a mass of curly hair.

"No-one of any importance. That tosser Cook is inside, but I made him pay to get in." Thomas grinned, enjoying what little power he could muster over the boy who had nearly destroyed his relationship.

"Well, we'll try our best to avoid him." Naomi muttered, still angry about Cook's stupid drinking game. What it could have potentially done to her relationship with Emily.

Thomas nodded solemnly, encouraging them to go inside to enjoy the music. Once inside all three girls began to smile, the band was, as Thomas had promised, amazing. The music was loud, a pulsating beat that made all three want to dance. Making their way onto the dance floor, Emily did her best to include Katie, not wanting her sister to feel like a third wheel. Choosing to dance in a circle, the three were starting to enjoy themselves, when Emily locked eyes on another girl in the crowd, one she quite clearly recognised.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Emily spat, turning to Naomi and looking for an answer before turning back to where she'd spotted Ruby dancing, clenching her fists as she started to worm her way through the crowd.

"Emily don't, please she's my friend." Naomi begged, trying to pull Emily back, trying to avoid any kind of confrontation.

"Fuck off is she!" Emily snapped, finally approaching where Ruby was dancing, calling out over the music "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Ems back off she's with me." Cook jumped in and defended, wrapping an arm protectively round Ruby. Ruby flinched slightly, especially as she locked eyes with a shocked looking Naomi.

"She's what?!" Naomi uttered, regretting her outburst the second Emily turned round to look at her, an expression of jealousy and anger spread across her face.

"You have got to be kidding me." Emily growled, gripping onto Naomi's wrist forcefully. Meeting her girlfriends eyes, pleading with her desperately.

"Naomi can we talk?" Ruby asked, smiling at her friend, she beckoned for her to leave Emily's side and come outside, that way she could explain everything. Tell Naomi that Cook was just a drunken mistake.

"No! You can't fucking talk to my girlfriend, and you can keep your hands off her as well!" Emily screeched, smacking away Ruby's hand which was reaching for Naomi's. Naomi hadn't seen Emily like this before, it was a little worrying. It was even more worrying when Emily managed to get past her, reaching out to punch the girl in front of her...

Katie was watching the entire exchange, wondering if she should step in, she didn't want Emily to think that she thought she couldn't cope on her own, but at the same time she wouldn't let some slut fuck with her sister. Just as she was about to leap in to support her sister, she felt a hand pull her back, rushing her through the crowds. It wasn't until she stepped out on the balcony, that she realised it was JJ that had hold of her hand.

"I... I should have stayed with Ems, she might need me." Katie rushed nervously, trying to let go of JJ's hand, but his grip was tight and determined.

"I think we should talk." JJ insisted, he'd been working through a million different things he wanted to say to Katie, there was no way he would let her just walk away. He needed her to listen, to give him a chance.

"Look J, I'm sorry about yesterday yeah? It was just a mistake." Katie rushed, refusing to meet JJ's eyes, she could feel him drop her hand from his the minute she uttered the word mistake, she wished she hadn't used that word, it had been anything but.

"A mistake?" JJ stuttered, looking visibly hurt. His hands shaking, Katie reaching out to steady them with her own.

"You don't need a fuck up like me." Katie whispered, offering a weak smile to JJ. She was doing what was right for JJ she told herself, she was doing what was best.

"What gives you the right to decide what's best for me Katie? I'm not the bloody child that everyone thinks I am, you don't need to protect me!" JJ snapped suddenly, an aggression she never thought she'd see in JJ, a passion that no other guy had ever shown for her.

"I don't think you're a child! I just, fuck I'm just confused." Katie admitted, her hands shaking this time, it was JJ's turn to steady her, to step forward and support her tiny frame.

"Don't be." JJ muttered, leaning into to kiss Katie. Katie instantly responding, wrapping her arms around the back of JJ's neck, kissing him desperately.


	13. I Want Your Love and I want Your Revenge

**It feels like an age doesn't it since I last posted! Sorry guys, damn uni interrupting my fun and games, well I thought I deserved a break so heres a chapter! (How is it I can write over three thousand words in such a short space of time when it comes to my fiction, but when its an essay I can't manage it?!)**

**"This is nice, like really fucking nice... But I've got to go and check my sister is still alive." Katie muttered, grudgingly pulling away from JJ, instantly missing the warmth of his body pressed up against hers, his soft lips caressing her own.**

"Hmm yes, I haven't heard anything too violent, though I have been a little distracted." JJ blushed, taking Katie's hand in his and leading her back to the busy dancefloor. Spotting their friends, Katie instantly released herself from JJ's grip. She could see the look of confusion and hurt on his face, but she couldn't deal with it right now, not when her sister currently had some girl in a headlock.

"Emily fucking stop it now!" Naomi screeched, trying to pull her girlfriend away from Ruby, Katie quickly stepped in yanking Emily away. Naomi gripped Emily's face between her hands, forcing her to look into her eyes, instantly calming the raging red head.

"She's psychotic! Actually got a fucking screw loose Naomi! I'd be careful about what you shag, it's dangerous!" Ruby snapped, smoothing down her hair as she backed into Cook who wrapped a protective arm around her. Much to the visible annoyance of Effy, who'd recently arrived with Freddie in tow, she was swaying on the dance-floor, whilst Freddie stood behind her desperate to catch her attention.

"Say another word about my sister and you'll regret it bitch!" Katie growled, pointing her finger in Ruby's face.

"Fiesty." Freddie slurred with a chuckle, he'd clearly had more than enough to drink and smoke. Effy sighed as he leant against her, pushing him back she tried to catch Cook's eye but he was too focused on trying to stop Ruby from fighting with the Fitch twins.

"Can everyone please calm down, I don't like all this fighting and someone will ask you to leave, please my friends." Thomas interrupted, pushing his way through the gathering crowd, his presence instantly causing his friends to calm.

"Thomas mate! You missed the cat fight." Freddie giggled, wrapping his arm around Thomas. Effy took this as an opportunity to dump him onto someone else, and quickly escaped before Freddie noticed she was gone.

"How about we get you some water my friend, sober you up." Thomas smiled, leading Freddie away from the crowd. The girls all still obviously shooting evils at each other, the tension tangible.

"You're fucking bleeding, come on I need to sort this out." Naomi huffed, running her finger along the small cut that ran underneath Emily's eye. Grabbing her hand she pulled her off towards the direction of the bathroom.

"Babe we should go, come on, back to my place yeah?" Cook tried to smile, tried to ignore the fact that the girl he liked couldn't keep her eyes off a tall, beautiful, blonde.

"I want to dance Cook, lets dance yeah?" Ruby replied, pushing Cook back into the crowd of people. Feeling in her pocket for a pill, she needed Cook to lighten up, couldn't deal with the way he was looking at her... Like he fucking liked her or something.

**

Dabbing the wet tissue on Emily's cut, Naomi sighed deeply. Neither had said a word since they'd entered the bathroom of the club, Emily simply sat perched on the edge of the sinks whilst Naomi tended to her injuries. Emily half expected Naomi to start shouting at her, get angry and leave her all over again. But Naomi was far more interested in making sure Emily was ok.

"Does it hurt?" Naomi asked, finally breaking the silence. Throwing the balled up tissue towards the bin, grinning when she got it in.

"Yeah. Stings like crazy." Emily huffed, pouting as she screwed up her face, visibly in pain. Smiling only when Naomi leaned in to gently kiss the cut.

"Good. You can be such a jealous fucking twat sometimes Em, you know I love you, there really wasn't any need for that." Naomi explained, gripping on tightly to Emily's hand. Truth was she completely understood it, if someone was looking at Emily like that she'd be just as jealous.

"She wants to take you away from me, I can't lose you Naomi, I really can't." Emily admitted, a tear escaping despite trying to force it back. Naomi immediately softened, pulling Emily in close, Emily resting her head on Naomi's shoulder, as heaving sobs escaped her.

"It's ok, baby it's ok. You'll never lose me, never." Naomi hushed, pulling in Emily tighter, her heart aching at just how much Emily loved her. How scary that was, but also how amazing it felt.

"Kiss me." Emily demanded, wiping away tears. Her head jolting upwards as she waited for Naomi to meet her demand.

Naomi stood back slightly, staring into Emily's lust filled eyes. Wondering whether she really should be encouraging Emily, kissing her when she knew that it couldn't lead to more. Because of their location, and because they'd wanted to take things slowly.

"Emily why don't we just head home. I'll kiss you all night when we get back to mine, we can watch a movie or something, I'll even let you pick which one." Naomi smiled, running her hand along the side of Emily's face. Jolting when she felt Emily wrap her legs around her waist.

"Show me you love me." Emily whispered huskily, her hands leaning back against the sinks as she tried to steady herself, tightening her legs around Naomi's waist, squeezing their two bodies as closely together as she could manage.

"Emily come on, this is just a reaction to what happened out there. You wanted to take things slowly remember? Build up our relationship without all the lust, without the sex." Naomi reminded her, though finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate as Emily started to run her hands all over Naomi's body.

"We'll do celibacy tomorrow, tonight I want you." Emily smiled wickedly, releasing her legs, sliding down off the sinks, her heels meeting the floor with a loud click that made Naomi jump. Grabbing hold of Naomi's hand, Emily quickly pulled Naomi into the disabled cubicle, before a group of girls banged noisily into the toilets.

"Em, there are fucking people out there." Naomi whispered, trying to ignore Emily's hands tugging at her dress. Desperately conscious that people would be able to hear them, or see the two pairs of feet under the cubicle door.

"You better scream quietly then." Emily teased, her tongue making its way along Naomi's neck, before biting down on her shoulder, making Naomi's knees buckle.

"Fucking hell." Naomi breathed, grabbing hold of the support bar, thankful that Emily had chosen the disabled cubicle because there was no way she'd be standing otherwise. Biting her lip, Naomi tried her hardest not to make a noise, but couldn't but let out an excited squeal as Emily's hand found itself exactly where Naomi needed it to be.

Outside, Effy was adjusting her make-up in the mirror. Another girl stood next to her kept twitching whenever she heard a noise coming from the end cubicle. Eventually the girl turned to Effy, desperate to know if she was just hearing things or whether something was happening.

"Are people fucking in there do you think?" The girl asked Effy, staggering over to try and peak under the cubicle.

"Oh fuck Emily, fuck." Came Naomi's strained groan from inside the toilet, causing the girl to recoil with a look of complete shock on her face.

"Yeah, I think there are." Effy smirked, walking out of the toilets, leaving the intrigued girl standing wide eyed with surprise.

**

Katie stood alone, nursing her drink in the corner of the club. She wasn't sure what had happened to Emily and Naomi, probably arguing somewhere she decided. JJ had disappeared, annoyed after she'd let go of his hand, she wished she hadn't done it. She just wasn't ready for whatever was happening between them to be quite so public yet, if JJ had just let her explain she could have made everything better. Sighing Katie watched as Thomas dragged Freddie over towards her, letting Freddie flop onto the seat next to her.

"He is very drunk. He has tried to kiss me twice already." Thomas laughed. "Katie I realise this isn't ideal, but I have to deal with the band. Could you perhaps watch over Freddie for me? I'm worried about how much alcohol he's had."

Katie tried to protest, there was no way she wanted to be left with Freddie, didn't want to look after him. Surely that was Effy's job? Where was she when things got bad? Katie thought bitterly. She couldn't seem to turn Thomas down though, maybe it was the way that Thomas was looking at her, pleading with her. Maybe it was how pathetic Freddie looked, or maybe it was just because she was a bloody nice person. Whatever it was, it led to her sitting down next to Freddie, holding his head up as she tried to get him to sip from the water bottle Thomas had given her.

"You're so lovely Katie, so, so lovely. I should have realised that, should have realised that you're lovely. So kind, so lovely." Freddie murmured, grasping for Katie's hand. "Effy doesn't love me Katie, she'll never love me. I should have stayed with you, we had it good Katie, we had it so good."

"I know we fucking did. You messed it up Freds, you fucking messed it up." Katie sighed, almost feeling sorry for him. You couldn't help who you fell in love with, he couldn't help falling for Effy.

"Maybe we could try again. I'm over Effy, I'm so over her." Freddie promised, looking up into Katie's eyes, smiling at how cute she looked when she was surprised.

"I'm involved with someone else Freddie. I really like him." Katie smiled, thinking about JJ, thinking about the way he'd kissed her earlier. So forceful, so loving, it had felt so unbelievably right.

"Doesn't matter." Freddie stuttered, grabbing hold of Katie, forcing a kiss on her. Kissing her fiercely, pulling her tighter towards him as she tried to pull away. "Come on Katie, I know you want this, you always wanted this." Freddie muttered, persisting with the kisses.

"Bobbins... Fuck Katie. Fuck." JJ blurted out, standing watching his best friend kissing the girl he liked. He couldn't explain it, couldn't explain how his whole heart felt like it would shatter.

Katie pulled away, looking at JJ, desperate to explain but knowing he wouldn't let her. Pushing Freddie as hard as she could, wanting to get him as far away from her as possible. She glared at Freddie before trying to chase after JJ who was walking away from her.

"Please, JJ! Please will you just let me explain! He kissed me, he kissed me and I wasn't kissing him back." Katie yelled, desperate for JJ to hear her over the thudding techno beats that filled the club.

"It doesn't matter Katie, it doesn't matter what you say. It will always be guys like him won't it? It will always be those good looking smooth guys who charm you, who treat you like shit and you just let them! You let them walk all over you because you think you deserve it, well you don't Katie, you deserve better!" JJ stuttered, shaking as he shouted the words.

"This is who you like? You like my Jonah, you two are in like with each other?" Freddie slurrred, surprised as he tried to figure it all out, scratching his head he tried to reach out to grab hold of Katie.

"Will you just leave me alone Freddie you prick! I don't want you. I want you JJ, I want to be with you." Katie pleaded, desperate for JJ to believe her and desperate for Freddie to just leave her alone.

"But he's JJ. I don't understand, you're Katie and he's JJ and the two of you don't... You don't fit." Freddie insisted, shaking his head as he tried to pull Katie away once again.

"Just get off her!" JJ snapped angrily, punching Freddie in the jaw, his eyes wide as he glanced at his fist before turning to look at Freddie who was laid out on the dance-floor. JJ stumbled backwards, surprised at his own strength.

"Bloody hell." Katie gasped, trying to stifle a giggle. Leaning down to try and shake Freddie awake.

"Bugger, bugger, bugger... I've hurt him, I've actually hurt him. I've got to go now, I've got to go." JJ stuttered, gripping onto his hair, marching out of the club. Katie tried to call after him, but she couldn't leave Freddie, deciding she would ring JJ as soon as she'd managed to get Freddie awake.

**

Naomi and Emily exited the toilets hand in hand, hair tussled, dresses scrunched and creased. Naomi raising an eyebrow when Effy gave her a knowing look, blushing at how obvious they must have been.

"Home please." Emily smiled, looking up at her girlfriend lovingly. She didn't want to be in this club anymore, she just wanted to enjoy her girlfriend in the comfort of Naomi's bed.

"You can't seriously want more, seriously Ems you're like a dog on heat." Naomi giggled, leaning in to kiss Emily's neck gently.

"Thanks a lot! Comparing me to a dog, just the way to get into my knickers." Emily huffed, pulling herself away from Naomi, quickly finding herself being pulled back into Naomi's side.

"Been there done that hon." Naomi winked, kissing the tip of Emily's nose, before linking their fingers back together. "Taxi or walk?"

"Walk, I want to talk to you." Emily smiled, leading Naomi towards the club exit, smiling at the bouncer who winked at them as they walked through the doors.

"Sounds ominous." Naomi worried, tightening her grip on Emily's hand.

"Don't get all panicked, I mean I just want to speak to you, talk crap, anything. I've missed you, I've missed you so much. You're my best friend Campbell, I've had to resort to talking to Katie recently!" Emily laughed, kissing Naomi's cheek to reassure her that everything was fine.

"Best friend and girlfriend all rolled into one, I really am quite the talent." Naomi grinned, "I've missed you too Fitch."

The walk home was slow, gentle and calm, the two girls walking and talking. Making each other laugh with stupid stories and bad jokes. Stopping regularly to kiss and touch, to make each other smile. Muttering "I love you" at every available opportunity, saying the words so often, yet they never lost meaning, never stopped making the other persons heart constrict and feel as if it would explode.

"Think we'll be together forever?" Naomi asked nervously, it was a question that took Emily so completely by surprise, the last thing she ever expected Naomi to ask. Naomi was the commitment phobe, the one who struggled the most to accept love, to let herself love back, yet here she was asking about forever.

"I... I hope so." Emily stammered, realising that there were a million obstacles that could possibly rear their heads at any time, how could she give Naomi a guarantee when she couldn't see the future.

"I know it seems stupid, I just don't see myself being able to love anyone else. Not like this. It's too much." Naomi explained, blushing and bowing her head so that she didn't have to meet Emily's quizzical glance.

"I want to tell you that we're forever, but we've just proven that we can hit bumps, that we can break apart. I want to tell you I'll still be loving you, even with a colostomy bag and cataracts, but I don't think anyone can put guarantees on love." Emily explained honestly, seeing the disappointment in Naomi's face, but knowing that she understood.

"Only you could make a colostomy bag sound romantic." Naomi smiled, sighing as Emily's thumb rubbed tiny circles on the back of her hand.

"Right now though." Emily stopped, placing her hands on Naomi's waist, looking into her eyes. "Right now, I love you so much, that forever seems very likely." Emily stood on tip toes to kiss Naomi's forehead, before carrying on walking.

"Cool." Naomi shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole thing, when really her heart was doing tiny backflips.

"Twat." Emily sighed, linking her arm through Naomi's.

**

"Answer my calls, or bloody ring me back, please JJ just talk to me yeah? You know that Freddie kissed me, don't you? I wouldn't go near him even if I was paid to, not when I have you... I do have you right? Because you promised you wouldn't fuck with my heart... Please JJ." Katie sighed, leaving yet another message on JJ's phone. Staggering slightly, she regretted drinking so much, and wearing heels that were just too high, especially now she was walking home having failed to get a taxi.

Katie was pissed off at Naomi and Emily just walking off, leaving her alone to get home, she fucking hated walking back at this time of night. Was even half tempted to call her dad and get him to come and collect her, but decided the lecture that he would give her wasn't really worth it.

Pushing her earphones into her ears, Katie flicked her iPod on, trying to find a fast paced song to encourage her to walk home a little faster. Eventually settling on a track, Katie started to walk with a little more determination than before, mouthing along to some of the lyrics, glad that no-one could see her.

Or so she thought. The footsteps behind her couldn't be heard through the sound of the music, she didn't even realise anyone was close until she felt the arms grab hold of her, she tried to scream but the hand was clamped over her mouth so fast she couldn't let even the tiniest sound escape. Kicking and writhing, Katie could hardly breathe, she was too scared, could feel her whole world collapsing.

She closed her eyes, prepared herself for the worst. Her heart racing... It was only when nothing happened that she dared to open her eyes. Removing her earphones, she watched as JJ and Cook chased after the man. Flinching as someone touched her shoulder.

"Hey Katie it's me, it's Ruby. Everything is alright yeah? We're here now." Ruby rushed, gripping on tightly to the scared girl. It didn't matter what had happened between the earlier, Katie was just glad she had someone, bursting into tears as Ruby shushed her gently.

It was a good ten minutes before Cook and JJ reappeared, both out of breath and angry looking.

"Fucker got away, not before I got a couple of good punches in." Cook explained, rubbing at his sore knuckles. "We'll have to go to the police yeah babes, do you remember anything?"

"I... I can't..." Katie tried to speak, but she couldn't without more sobs escaping. JJ dropped to his knees, Ruby letting go of Katie as JJ pulled her in close to his chest. Holding on as she let herself just cry.

"I'm here now, I'm looking after you. I'm here now Katie." JJ promised, kissing the top of Katie's head.


	14. Growing, I Looked To You In Guidance

**Reviewers you are gorgeous, wonderful people. Another chapter because it's the best way to put off actual work, hope you like it, i'm in a bit of a fluff mood tonight so you're not getting anything drama filled, but fluff is good every once in a while yeah? Italics are flashback, but I bet you clever people knew that already!**

It seemed like everything was moving fast, too fast, so fast it hurt to breathe. Everyone kept asking her questions, kept talking to her and she couldn't reply, didn't know what she'd say even if she could. There was a bruise on her arm, where the guy that had grabbed her had held her so tightly, she could feel it throb and with every pulsation she was reminded of what could have been. She was faintly aware of JJ's hand in hers, he hadn't let go, they were sat in a police station now and the only thing Katie had managed to say was a protestation of 'no' when the officer had asked JJ to step outside. She wouldn't let him go, couldn't, she needed to feel safe.

"Katie, Katie can you remember anything at all. His face? What he was wearing?" The officer prompted, she was young, and female, chosen because the officers hoped Katie would open up to her. The officer attempted a smile, anything to relax the girl in front of her, but she couldn't even get Katie to meet her eyes, never mind register a smile, it was like Katie was locked in some kind of trance.

"Where is she?! Where is my daughter?" the shrill voice of Jenna Fitch broke through the awkward silence, before anyone could even protest she'd found her way into the interview room and was by Katie's side. Pulling her daughter into her, despite Katie's stiffness, and her complete refusal to let go of JJ's hand.

"Katiekins baby, you alright? Mum and dad are here now. You can head off boy." Rob snapped at JJ, not aware of the whole story, but aware enough to know that his daughter had been alone when she'd been attacked.

"Please don't leave." Katie begged in a tiny voice, her fingers gripping onto JJ's so tightly it would probably leave a mark. Not that JJ minded, he just nodded silently, before looking up at Rob as if to say what could he do?

"Why weren't you with her? Why wasn't Emily with her?" Jenna snapped, looking at JJ and then back at Katie. After everything they'd been through with Effy and the rock, it was hard for Jenna to not be overprotective of Katie.

"It's not JJ's fault. It was mine. We argued and I left. Emily is with Naomi. It's not her fault either. It's my fault." Katie stumbled, short stifled sentences, she could barely speak, still shaken from what had happened.

"Do you need any more information from Katie? Can we take her home yet?" Rob asked the police officer, rubbing Katie's spare hand. Sharing a look with Jenna, panic that Katie really wasn't responding to anything.

"I think we're done here, your friends James and Ruby have made statements, Jonah we just need to talk to you, but Katie you can go home." the officer smiled, nodding to Rob and Jenna who tried to get Katie to move.

"I'm not going without JJ." Katie blurted out suddenly, panicked as she felt her hand slip from his.

"Darling, your friend has to make a statement, and he needs to get home. His mum will be wondering where he is. You can talk tomorrow." Jenna assured, shushing Katie like she was a small child. Just wanting to get her daughter home safe.

"Please mum." Katie begged, making it clear she didn't want JJ to leave her tonight. Jenna sighed, looked over to Rob who simply looked confused, before making a decision for all of them.

"Well, I suppose if Emily's not coming back tonight, then we have a spare bed..." Jenna trailed, meeting Rob's eyes, and the look of horror on his face.

"You think he's going to be sharing a room with my Katie? No way, no bloody way!" Rob stuttered out, shooting evils at a terrified looking JJ, whilst the police officer looked on in amusement.

"Oh come on Rob, it's not like they'll break our trust now. Will you?" Jenna pointed the question at JJ, who shook his head adamantly. Katie didn't even seem to register the question, just continued to stare blankly whilst everyone else fussed around her.

"Right... We'll wait outside boy." Rob huffed, exiting with his arm tightly wrapped around Katie, and with Jenna on the other side, clinging onto her daughter. The three of them sat outside, waiting for JJ to finish giving his statement.

**

"So no sex?" Emily asked, pouting slightly as she listened to Naomi's instructions. The two girls had arrived home, making their way up to Naomi's bed, where Emily thought they would just continue what they'd started in the toilets. Now though, Naomi was being ever so slightly difficult.

"Ems I know I gave in back there, but I think the original idea was a good one. No sex. Why don't we just talk?" Naomi suggested, shrugging as she pulled off her dress, finding an old T-shirt to sleep in instead.

"Because I'm horny and talking doesn't have quite the same effect." Emily grumbled, kicking off her shoes, before slowly removing her dress, hoping the striptease might change Naomi's mind.

"Not going to work on me, you can stand there looking as sexy as you like. I'm not going to cave. This was your idea remember? Come and lie with me, talk to me, kiss me. Don't you remember our first kisses? How exciting they felt?" Naomi asked, looking up at Emily and patting the space on the bed next to her.

Emily sighed, standing in her bra and knickers, before moving over to find a T-shirt to pull on. Dropping onto bed with Naomi, she immediately curled into her girlfriend, nuzzling into her neck, kissing the soft skin gently.

"I remember our first kiss..." Emily trailed, the bittersweet memory. Something so amazing, but it had been tainted with something so bad. With Katie and her interruption, the wild rumours, the way that she'd just stood back and let Naomi take the blame for everything.

"That shitty party..." Naomi remembered, thinking about how she'd only ended up there because her friend owed her a tenner, and the only way she thought she'd get it back was if said friend was drunk enough to just do it without an argument...

"_Cha-ching!" Naomi giggled to herself, stretching the ten pound note out in front of her. Pleased at her epic skills of persuasion in getting the money back off her arsehole friend. Friend was probably too strong a word, she didn't really have friends, couldn't really be bothered with half the people here. A bunch of horny fifteen year olds drinking, doing drugs for the first time, partying like they were adults. Fucking ridiculous, Naomi huffed, proudly holding up her tenner again._

"_Wow you're rich." The husky voice cut through the lame party music, it made Naomi jump, made her drop the money on the floor. The girl in front of her scooped down and picked it up. "Finders keepers."_

_Naomi stared at the girl who was chuckling, shoving her money into her pocket, HER money! Fucking cheeky bitch... She couldn't seem to get angry though, it was something about her, she was just so bloody sweet. A sweet, thieving, cheeky bitch._

"_Aren't you Katie Fitch? Thought you were fucking a footballer? Surely he's got enough money for the both of you?" Naomi asked, narrowing her eyes at the girl in front of her. She certainly didn't seem like a WAG, didn't really give off the impression that she would shag anything for a bit of fame and glory._

"_I'm Emily." Emily muttered, shaking her head as she realised that yet another person just saw her and her twin as a single entity. It made her furious, especially because Naomi Campbell didn't even realise who she was, the one girl she wanted to notice her didn't even know she existed._

"_Oh fuck right, the twin. Sorry, just saw the red hair and thought... Sorry... You're nothing like her are you?" Naomi apologised, seeing how offended the smaller girl looked at being called Katie. Clearly something she wasn't a fan of._

"_No. We're very different." Emily smiled, biting her lip to stifle a giggle, because her and Katie really were different. Katie wouldn't be stood here right now thinking about Naomi Campbell in the way that she was. Katie wouldn't be getting lost in Naomi's beautiful eyes, wouldn't be admiring her gorgeous body, wouldn't be looking at Naomi's soft skin and wishing she could reach out and touch it._

"_You want to go sit in the garden? This music is shit." Naomi smiled, leading the smaller girl out into the garden, immediately appreciating the cool air. Walking all the way down to the bottom of the garden, Naomi found a bench, covering the bench which was wet with the rain they'd had earlier, with her jacket so that Emily could sit down._

"_What a gentleman." Emily giggled, sitting down as she watched Naomi light a cigarette. Trying to fight a smile at Emily's 'gentleman' comment._

"_Fuck off, just didn't think you'd appreciate a wet arse. I can take it back if you want?" Naomi threatened, turning back to watch Emily, her heart lurching in a way she didn't understand when she caught Emily's eyes. They were just so... Beautiful._

"_Nope. It's mine now, all mine." Emily insisted, running her hand across the fabric, feeling closer to Naomi even with that simple action. This was crazy, a crazy situation, here she was sitting at a party with the girl she'd fancied for months... Not in a gay way or anything, maybe it was just a silly girl crush, it couldn't really mean anything at all, Emily's brain insisted._

"_I do know you Fitch, you're in my English class, you made that point about that poem the other day didn't you?" Naomi suddenly asked, as if she'd been wracking her brains since the moment they'd met, to work out how she knew the girl standing with her._

"_Erm... Yeah that was me. Why? Was it stupid?" Emily blushed, she didn't normally speak out in class, but she'd needed to say something about the poem they were looking at, she'd loved it, loved the words._

"_I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions." Naomi quoted looking back at Emily, smiling as Emily blushed. "I think what you said was the most intelligent thing I've ever heard in that class." _

"_That wouldn't be hard now would it?" Emily laughed, watching Naomi chuckle in acknowledgement of the fact._

"_You said you liked the idea of something not being able to judge you, of only being able to reflect the truth without giving an opinion... What are you worried about being judged about?" Naomi asked, a lump forming in her throat, as if she already knew the answer to the question, as if something had already passed silently between them._

"_Nothing. There's nothing." Emily hurried her answer. Refusing to meet Naomi's eyes, not looking up at her even as the taller girl sat herself down next to her._

"_Are you worried about something? Are you worried about someone judging you? Are you worried about Katie judging you?" Naomi pressed on, she could see it, could see what Emily was hiding and she wondered if it was as clear to everyone else as it was to her._

_Emily looked up, met Naomi's eyes, took a deep breath and went for it. Leaned in and kissed her, gently, nervously, hesitantly. Worrying the entire time that she was about to get a slap, or that Naomi was going to run into the house and announce to the entire party that she'd just been attacked by the raging lezza outside. Pulling away, Emily looked at Naomi terrified._

"_Well, I guess that answered my question." Naomi muttered, before closing her eyes and leaning back into the kiss, Emily was surprised at first but wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to keep on kissing Naomi Campbell. This beautiful girl was kissing her, actually kissing her and it felt so incredible, she thought she might explode._

"_What the fuck are you doing to my sister!" Katie's screech broke them apart, Emily forcing Naomi backwards, pushing her away as she flushed bright red. "I said, what the fuck are you doing to my sister you fucking bitch!"_

_With that the fight broke out, Katie attacking Naomi, Naomi trying to fight back. Emily stood on the sidelines without a word, people gathered, chanting for the bitch fight to continue. Katie announced to the entire party that Naomi was a predatory lesbian who'd jumped her sister, and Emily didn't deny a single thing._

"I don't believe it." Naomi gasped suddenly, as they finished telling the story to each other.

"What?" Emily asked, panicking at the sound of Naomi's voice. Had Naomi suddenly remembered what a cowardly twat she'd been and decided that she didn't want her anymore?

"You've still got my tenner!" Naomi laughed, Emily biting her lip as she remembered finding the crinkled note in her pocket when she'd arrived home that night. She'd always intended on giving it back to Naomi, but Naomi had practically blanked her since the night of the kiss until they'd been forced together at college, the opportunity had never come up.

"Well, like I said, finders keepers." Emily grinned wickedly, kissing Naomi quickly, trying not to laugh at Naomi's appalled expression. The two girls settled back into each other, ready for a night of stolen kisses and shared stories. Maybe there really was something in this 'no sex' rule, Emily hadn't thought it possible to feel any closer to Naomi, but tonight truely was special.

"What do you think would have happened if Katie hadn't caught us?" Naomi wondered out loud, considering the possibilities, wondering if they'd have wasted less time, been together sooner.

"I think you'd have been really confused, probably run off... I'd still have your tenner." Emily joked, not really wanting to think about Naomi running from her, she'd had to deal with enough of that, thinking about it really didn't help.

"Be serious. Maybe I wouldn't have, maybe we'd have just sat on that bench all night." Naomi suggested, remembering that night, remembering walking home with her damp jacket that smelt like Emily, remembering feeling so confused and so angry.

"Maybe we would, maybe we wouldn't be together now then. I think everything we went through to get here has made us stronger." Emily shrugged, she had to believe that all the pain was for a reason, otherwise it was just pain, and that never made sense.

"I think you're right. If we could get through my utter twatness, then we can get through anything you know?" Naomi smiled, kissing Emily's cheek.

"I love you." Emily whispered.

"I love you more." Naomi promised, kissing Emily before she could argue.

**

Rob still wasn't happy, but Jenna hadn't let him say anything because right now it clear Katie need JJ. Also considering where Emily was right now, it was hardly right to impose different rules on Katie just because JJ was a boy.

"The beds creak boy, if I hear you even so much as move I'll be in there like a shot." Rob threatened with a smile as JJ climbed the stairs behind Katie. Nodding and gulping, JJ followed Katie up to her room. Looking around, JJ stood nervously, not sure what to say or do. Katie was sat taking off her makeup, not saying a word.

"Katie, are you alright?" JJ asked, resting his hand on Katie's shoulder, looking into her sad eyes, at how terrified she seemed by everything. He just wanted to kiss her and make everything better, but he wasn't sure if he should.

A knock at the door, made JJ jump, Rob popped his head round the door, scowling at the sight of JJ's hand on Katie's shoulder. Throwing a T-shirt and shorts at JJ, he nodded approvingly at JJ's ability to catch.

"There you go, something to sleep in. You can get changed in the bathroom, leave Katie to get her pajamas on." Rob instructed, JJ nodded and walked out the room to find the bathroom. Pulling on the 'Don't get fit, get Fitch' T-shirt and shorts, JJ took a deep breath before walking back to Katie's room.

She looked beautiful, sat there in pink pajamas, no make-up, her hair falling loosely down over her shoulders. JJ walked over and gently reached out his hand, taking Katie's in his again, because he needed to touch her.

"He could have... He could have..." Katie stuttered, bursting into tears without being able to say the words. JJ sat down on the bed nervously next to her, pulling her in tightly, soothing her as she cried.

"He didn't. You're ok. I'm here now Katie, I'll never leave you alone like that ever again." JJ promised, kissing the side of Katie's head. Wrapping his arms around her tiny frame, he just wanted to stop her from shaking, from feeling scared. They must have stayed like that for an hour before Katie started to fall asleep. Pulling the covers back, JJ started to tuck Katie into bed, before making his way over to Emily's.

"Sleep in here." Katie demanded quietly, reaching out her hand to pull JJ back to her.

"Your dad Katie..." JJ reminded her, not really liking the idea of Rob Fitch launching a full on attack on him.

"Please, I just need someone to hold me." Katie begged, her voice cracking as she felt the tears start to fall again. With that JJ slid into bed next to her, their bodies fitting together perfectly. Katie leant her head back against JJ's chest, as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek gently. Katie turned around slightly, letting her lips meet JJ's, as they shared a soft kiss. "Thank you JJ." Katie muttered, before she started to slip into sleep, JJ finally letting himself relax as his eyes fluttered closed.


	15. Stay, Or Turn Around and Run?

**A chapterless week, I feel a bit ashamed! But after writing three 2500 word essays my fingers just didn't have the ability to type anymore. Anyway i've made up for it with an uber long chapter (sorry about that lol) Hope you guys enjoy, reviews are always lovely! *hint hint***

Of course it wasn't the first time he'd woken up with a girl in his arms, but it was different before, Emily had tried to create as much distance between them as possible, a gulf of guilt that made it impossible to even pretend that them being together was at all normal. When he woke up next to Katie though it was different, she looked so small, curled into him, pulled in tightly to his chest, he could feel her warm breath against him. She looked beautiful, tiny and beautiful and all he wanted to do was touch her, settling for gently stroking her hair, careful not to wake her. Looking around the room, JJ scanned the walls, looking at all of Katie's posters of male celebrities all with the pearly white teeth, big muscles and fake tan, if this was the type of person that Katie fancied then it made him question, really, what was she doing with him?

"Perving over Daniel Craig are we?" Katie mumbled, just waking up to see where JJ's eyes were fixed. She couldn't help but smile as JJ furrowed her brow, flustered at being caught looking at Katie's posters

"He's really not that attractive, and he's old, I can't say I really understand the female desire towards him." JJ explained, shaking his head before relaxing, it was easy to stay calm with Katie.

"Anyone looks fit in a suit." Katie explained, resting her head on JJ's chest, her fingers drawing lazy shapes on his body. It felt so good, that warm body next to hers, the protective arm that wrapped itself around her.

"Do you think I looked fit in a suit?" JJ asked, slightly nervously as he searched for some kind of approval.

"You took me by surprise that night, didn't expect you to look so..." Katie remembered, licking her lips smiling at the thought of JJ, wondering why she hadn't noticed how good he looked back then. Maybe she did? Maybe she was just too shallow to admit that he made her feel that way.

"Suave?" JJ suggested, cringing at the memory which made Katie start to giggle, leaning up to kiss JJ. It was long and lingering, forceful but beautiful. It took JJ a lot of self restraint to pull away from it. "How are you Katie?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Katie huffed, turning away from JJ. Hating him for having to ruin the moment with the memories she's spent entire night trying to push away.

"Please Katie, don't shut me out. What happened last night really scared you, its ok to feel upset about it, but you have me, I might not be 007, but I'm here and I promise I'll look after you." JJ attempted a smile, attempted to make light of this impossible situation in a vain attempt to make Katie smile and finally open up.

"You can't change what happened! Just like you can't change what happened with Effy in the woods. Bad things fucking happen, they happen and they fuck you up." Katie snapped, revealing that last night wasn't the only thing bothering her, it had brought back memories of the other attack she had suffered and it was making her angry.

"Please Katie... Please just let me help." JJ begged, grabbing hold of Katie's hand and trying to prove that he was strong enough for both of them.

Suddenly the door opened, both of them freezing in anticipation of who was going to walk through and catch them laying in bed together. JJ prayed it wasn't Rob, he quite enjoyed life and didn't really fancy being murdered by Katie's crazed father. Instead it was Jenna who popped her head round the door, raising an eyebrow before speaking.

"I'd hop out of there before Rob catches you." Jenna smiled, knowing that nothing had happened between them, simply grateful that someone was looking after her daughter, even if it was that peculiar boy that kind of scared her. "Katie darling we're going to work, but we can stay if you need us to."

"Go mum, JJ is here with me." Katie nodded assuringly, easing Jenna's mind. Jenna looked over to JJ who was now sat on Emily's bed, smiling as if confirming what Katie had said.

"I'll see you later sweetheart." Jenna said, blowing Katie a kiss before exiting the room. Katie waited patiently for her parents to leave, not speaking a word until she heard the front door slam shut.

"You can go now J." Katie insisted, looking at JJ to show that she was serious, she couldn't stand having someone try to figure her out right now, trying to make everything better when it was impossible to do so.

"I can't go anywhere, your mum thinks I'm staying with you to look after you and that's what I'm going to do." JJ explained, it all seeming so very basic in his head, not understanding why Katie would want to push him away.

"Just go JJ! Will you just bloody leave me alone." Katie snapped showing she was serious, she stared JJ down until he got up and reached for his pile of clothes.

"Keep pushing me away and I might not come back." JJ sighed, heading towards the bathroom to get changed, leaving Katie sat alone and crying, too proud to call him back.

**

Naomi woke up slowly, like she was fighting to get to the surface, she'd been so lost in a dream that was really about nothing, but really about everything. There was a darkness, and it was threatening to take over, to strangle her and the worst part was she had no idea what it was, where it was coming from and when it would hit. Slipping into reality, she was faintly aware of a crushing sensation on her legs, her eyes opening, she couldn't help but laugh at Emily sitting on top of her, beaming back at her.

"Hi." Emily smiled, a simple greeting and absolutely no explanation as to why she was sitting on a sleeping girl.

"Any particular reason i'm getting such a _wonderful_ morning greeting?" Naomi asked, stressing the sarcasm on 'wonderful' knowing that it would make Emily giggle, beaming when it did.

"I woke up and I was just staring at you..." Emily began to explain.

"Creepy." Naomi interjected with a teasing smile.

"...Well then I reached out and I was touching your arm, stroking your arm and it still wasn't enough." Emily mused, scratching her head as she remembered the feeling, Naomi trying to hold in a giggle because Emily really did look like a monkey just then, a really cute monkey, she clarified in her head.

"So you decided to straddle me?" Naomi asked, raising an eyebrow at Emily's complete inability to explain, even though really Naomi knew exactly what she was saying, she just enjoyed teasing her frustrated little monkey girlfriend.

"Well, yeah." Emily shrugged, like it was completely normal and really Naomi was the one who was strange for needing to ask.

"Okay then." Naomi nodded, blinking, before reaching out her hands and grabbing hold of Emily's, the two of them sat just staring at each other, because sometimes words really weren't needed, not when their eyes could portray so many of their feelings.

"I bet you never thought you'd fall in love with me." Emily whispered, as if she was completely unaware she was speaking her thoughts out loud. She looked surprised when Naomi responded, partly because she was then aware she'd said it, but partly because of Naomi's answer.

"I did actually." Naomi stated simply, it was the truth, she did always know she would fall in love with Emily. Emily looked back confused, and Naomi realised she'd have to elaborate. "I knew I'd fall in love with you, I knew if I let myself, that I'd fall so deep I wouldn't be able to escape. It was kind of like quicksand, you know? The more I'd fight it, the deeper I would sink."

"Romantic." Emily groaned, rolling her eyes slightly at her girlfriend.

"You know me Ems. You know how scared I was to ever let someone take such complete hold of my heart, it was like I knew that I couldn't just have a fling with you, it wouldn't just be kisses or sex, it was something more than that, even from the start I knew it was something more." Naomi explained, rubbing her thumbs over the back of Emily's hands, caressing the skin gently. Smiling more when Emily leaned down, hovering just inches from her face, teasing her with a hungry stare before giving in and kissing her.

"You're beautiful." Emily sighed, rubbing her nose against the tip of Naomi's, her hands placed either side of the blonde to steady herself.

"You're still not getting any." Naomi whispered with a wicked grin, breaking the seriousness of the moment, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing at Emily's annoyance.

"Fucker." Emily muttered, flipping herself off of Naomi so that she was laying alongside her again. Starting to giggle when Naomi finally couldn't fight the laughter any longer, the two girls laughing so hard their whole bodies were shaking. Feeling for each others hands, they linked their fingers, eventually calming themselves.

"Well, this has been a joy, but I've got to get moving. Going to be late if I don't start getting ready." Naomi sighed, unwilling to pull herself away, instead moving even closer to Emily.

'Why can't we just stay in bed all day?" Emily questioned, sounding ever so slightly like a petulant child, but knowing that Naomi found it endearing, so much so that Naomi leaned in and kissed her gently.

"Because I've got to save the world." Naomi smiled, reaching out to stroke Emily's face.

"I've ironed your costume Superman, it's hanging in the wardrobe." Emily teased, placing her hand over Naomi's.

"Thanks Lois." Naomi replied with a smile, breaking herself away from Emily reluctantly as she got up to hunt for a towel.

"I'm going to be bored!" Emily complained, crossing her arms and pouting at Naomi who was now searching for some clothes.

"You can always come with me, you know what they say, the couple that protest together..." Naomi began, knowing that trying to persuade Emily to come to a protest was completely useless.

"...Die of hypothermia and boredom?" Emily finished, remembering the last time she'd accompanied Naomi on a protest, half the people who were supposed to turn up didn't turn up, some fucker spilt paint on her, an ex-boyfriend of Naomi's kept staring at them (Emily wasn't sure if it was the infamous erectile dysfunction guy, she didn't dare ask), it was freezing cold and they had to scarper before the police attempted to arrest them.

"Well, either way you'll be bored, but you can either be bored alone, or bored with me, and just to remind you... I am fucking awesome." Naomi boasted proudly, pulling a stupid grin to make Emily laugh.

"I would, but I'm planning a surprise for later. What time are you home?" Emily asked, devising a plan to romance Naomi.

"Five-ish, I might be earlier depends on how it goes. Or later if I get arrested." Naomi laughed, reminding Emily of the protest they'd been on together, the angry police officers glaring at them, glaring even more when Naomi quipped back with a smart arse comment.

"Well, if you could avoid doing that it would be great babes." Emily sighed rolling her eyes, before breaking out into a smile, she couldn't help but smile at Naomi's cheeky grin, it was just too cute.

"You're the bestest monkey girlfriend ever." Naomi laughed, walking out of the room slinging her towel over her shoulder as she made her way to the bathroom, leaving a confused Emily sat in bed.

"Huh?" Emily grunted, scratching her head once again.

**

Katie wished she hadn't made JJ leave, she was just so frustrated, lashing out was far easier than actually confronting what was going on with her. When the doorbell rang later on that morning, she suddenly remembered that no one else was home, forcing her to answer the door herself. Even that was a struggle for Katie, she felt scared to create any kind of opening to the outside world, to the danger that could be waiting on the other side. She cursed her parents in her head for leaving her, granted they thought JJ would be with her, but they still shouldn't have left.

With extreme caution, Katie pulled back the door, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that it was only Ruby on the other side. Holding onto a carrier bag of magazines and chocolate, Ruby gave a nervous smile, not even sure if she should be here.

"Your sister isn't around is she? Don't fancy another headlock." Ruby let out a nervous giggle, as Katie stepped aside to let the other girl, frowning at the choice of shorts when the weather was as cold as it was. Clearly this girl was about as educated as Naomi when it came to fashion.

"Ems hasn't been home yet. How did you know I lived here?" Katie asked, narrowing her eyes, only smiling when Ruby passed the bag over and Katie spotted the copy of Cosmo inside.

"Cook told me. Just wanted to check you were alright, thought the magazines might cheer you up. Oh and chocolate, everyone loves chocolate." Ruby smiled, holding up the large bar of Dairy Milk, which Katie couldn't help but beam at.

"I'm fine." Katie replied, a little sharper than she intended. Trying to restore a smile, because really she was grateful, even if this girl was a fashion impaired loser with a crush on her sisters girlfriend, and who she'd almost decked the night before.

"Right... I should go." Ruby hurried, noticing that her presence wasn't exactly being welcomed here, she placed the carrier bag down on the coffee table before making her way towards the door.

"Got any smokes?" Katie asked, almost desperate to stop someone else from walking away and leaving her alone. She'd even take Ruby for company right now.

Patting down her pockets, Ruby finally pulled out a packet of Marlboro lights, shaking it to check she actually had some left. The one thing she'd learnt about being with Cook, is that he didn't seem to buy his own cigarettes, yet constantly had one on the go.

"Garden?" Katie asked, leading Ruby through the house, grabbing the bar of chocolate on the way. The two girls settled somewhere near the bottom of the garden. Sitting down awkwardly at first, before Katie broke out the chocolate and Ruby lit a cigarette, passing it over to Katie who took a long, hard drag.

"The police said anything else about the prick that did it?" Ruby asked, chewing on the corner of a chunk of chocolate, watching the horror of the memory flash in Katie's eyes.

"They'll never catch him. People like that, they just get away with it, they get to hurt you and nothing ever happens to them, they just carry on like normal." Katie snapped aggressively, her fists clenching at the thought.

"This isn't just about that guy last night is it? Cook told me about Effy..." Ruby trailed, not really sure how much Katie could handle right now, noticing how Katie had never handed the cigarette back to her, had single handedly smoked the entire thing in what seemed like record time.

"Fucking bitch. See people like that, they just carry on living. I wanted to hurt her, I even asked JJ to help me." Katie sighed, remembering her plan, remembering how passionate she'd been about making Effy pay.

"What were you going to do to her?" Ruby asked curious, reaching for more chocolate as she kicked at some leaves with her trainers.

"Didn't really know." Katie blushed, embarrassed that her plan had basically been non-existent. "I just want her to get that what she did to me was wrong, I want her to suffer like I do, bet she doesn't have fucking nightmares."

"Should scare the shit out of her, make her think you're going to hurt her." Ruby shrugged, noticing the smile that crept onto Katie's face, almost immediately. "I wouldn't tell JJ what you're doing either, no offense but he seems a little... Soft, when it comes to stuff like this."

"I reckon Effy would see through me immediately. You're right about JJ though, he never seemed keen on the idea." Katie sighed, playing with the ties on her dressing gown.

"Maybe I could help?" Ruby suggested, chewing the inside of her cheek as she thought it over, considered what she was actually offering to a girl she barely knew, and was pretty sure she didn't like.

"Why would you want to help me?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow, she definitely had a lot of issues trusting people, especially people who were willing to help bring down a stranger.

"You've seen the way she looks at Cook." Ruby shrugged, giving in to the craving and lighting another cigarette, this time getting at least a couple of drags in before passing if over to Katie.

"Didn't think Cook was anymore than a fuck?" Katie questioned, of course she'd seen the way Effy looked at Cook, of course she knew that Effy had realised a little too late that it was Cook that she really loved.

"He isn't. Doesn't mean I want her looking at him though, she gets him then I lose my regular shag, then I..." Ruby trailed, because she was thinking about Naomi, and thinking about Naomi in such an obvious way in front of the sister of Naomi's girlfriend probably wasn't the wisest idea.

"Will find it even harder to cope with Naomi getting back together with Emily." Katie interrupted, finishing Ruby's sentence for her.

"I didn't say that." Ruby dismissed, dropping her head. Stubbing the cigarette out on the grass, before chucking it into a bush.

"You were thinking it." Katie insisted, dipping her head to try and force Ruby to look her in the eyes, an impossible task and so Katie settled for nicking the chocolate off her.

"Want my help or not?" Ruby asked, trying to change the subject. Brushing her hair out of her face, showing Katie that she meant what she said, really it was because she needed a distraction. Needed to fight for Cook, because maybe he could be the key to getting over the unattainable blonde.

"Yeah... I do." Katie nodded, sighing she rubbed at her arm, still bruised from last night. Remembering that this was about justice, she would never be able to find that guy and make him pay, but she might not feel so pathetic if she could hurt Effy, just a little bit.

"Not everyone in the world is bad Katie, you're going to be okay, you know?" Ruby smiled, placing her hand on Katie's shoulder. A strange, uneasy friendship being formed.

"I hope so." Katie whispered, because she wouldn't do anything just to feel normal again.

**

Emily struggled, laden down with shopping bags and wondering how exactly she'd managed to buy so much for just one meal. There was something about supermarkets that made Emily get carried away, she had enough food to feed a small dinner party, but she always got nervous when she was buying alcohol, praying that the person at the till wouldn't I.D her. Somehow it always seemed a little less conspicuous if the wine was accompanied by gratuitous amounts of food, it had worked, the checkout girl hadn't even raised an eyebrow as she'd slid it through the till, Emily quickly bagging it before she changed her mind. Now she was making her way towards Naomi's house, patting her pocket as she searched the house-key she had for the Campbell place, something Gina had given her so that she always had a place to escape to, it was a nice gesture, made Emily feel wanted and loved, but didn't stop her feeling slightly awkward using it. Today was a special occasion though, she wanted to have the meal ready for when Naomi got back from the protest rally she was at, Gina wouldn't be home, she never was on a Saturday it always her day with Kieran, so now all Emily had to do was pray she wouldn't screw up the recipe she'd found on the internet.

Slipping the key into the lock, Emily held a shopping bag between her teeth, the others slipped up her arms as she pushed through the door, practically collapsing under the weight of them. Finally being able to place them all down, Emily took a deep breath, flexing her hands and rubbing at the indentations the plastic handles had made across her palms.

"Is that you Nai?" Gina's voice called from the living room, causing Emily to jump out of her skin, shocked that someone was home. Pulling herself together, Emily skipped over to the door and poked her head through.

"Only me Gina." Emily smiled, stopping as she noticed the tear stained face of her girlfriends mother. She didn't think she'd ever seen Gina cry before, she didn't think she'd ever seen her with anything other than a smile on her face. "Is everything alright G?"

Gina was quick to wipe at her tears, trying to compose herself as the redhead made her way towards her. Slipping next to her on the sofa, immediately taking her hand in hers. Gina tried to muster a smile, tried to pretend everything was alright but instead she started crying again, Emily awkwardly removing her hand, instead wrapping Gina into a hug.

"Oh darling I'm sorry, just ignore me yeah? I'm just being silly." Gina sniffed, gulping hard in an attempt to steady herself.

"What's wrong Gina, Naomi's okay isn't she?" Emily asked, fear creeping into her voice, it was all she could think about, an explanation for why Gina would be so upset, suddenly Emily was terrified, tightening her grip on Gina.

"Naomi's fine honey, oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you like that." Gina apologised, realising how bad things must have looked, she could see how much Emily loved her daughter, and how scary a weeping mother must have looked.

"Sorry I just needed to check." Emily smiled weakly, slipping her hand back into Gina's, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Because you love her." Gina mused, nodding her head as if she was confirming something to her head, as if she needed to get the details straight.

"I do." Emily confirmed, slightly confused, she'd never seen Gina like this, so spaced out and thoughtful, so upset.

"I'm glad... Glad she has someone that loves her, someone that will look after her." Gina nodded, gripping on tightly to Emily's hand, meeting her eyes for a second before quickly looking away.

"You know I will. I know we have our stupid arguments, but I'll always love her and protect her." Emily assured, she didn't know why, but somehow knew she had to confirm to Gina.

"She doesn't have anyone else, no-one else in this entire world." Gina muttered softly, shaking her head and closing her eyes, trying to stop more tears from making their escape.

"She has you." Emily reminded her, confused by Gina's strange mood and choice of words.

"Her dad, I have no idea where he is, I don't think she'd want anything to do with him even if he was around. My parents disowned me when I fell pregnant with Naomi, my sister hasn't talked to me in just as long... There's no-one left for her, I've left her so alone." Gina said, seeming to completely ignore Emily's reminder, musing on all the people she'd seen walk out of her life, walk out on both her and Naomi.

"Gina what's wrong? You're talking weird." Emily asked, narrowing her eyes at Gina trying to figure her out

"I can't tell you hon, I can't put you in that position, Naomi can't know and I don't want you to have to lie to her." Gina hung her head, as a parent all you want to do is protect your child from everything bad in the world, to make things as pain free as possible. When you only have each other though it makes things difficult.

"You like you need someone to talk to, think of me as your friend instead of Naomi's girlfriend." Emily suggested gently, not quite sure if she really wanted to open up this can of worms, could she really lie to Naomi? At the same time, could she really sit here and watch Gina struggle? Gina who had been like a second mother to her, it was impossible.

"You're a good girl Emily, the best, I don't think anyone else in this world could make Naomi as happy as you've made her. You need to keep on making her happy." Gina murmured, barely above a whisper as she stroked the back of Emily's hand.

"Why are you talking like this? What's wrong?" Emily asked, this time more forcefully, she couldn't just sit here and watch Gina like this. She couldn't walk away either, regardless of whether Gina told her what was wrong, she still knew there was something going on.

"I'm scared Emily, I'm really scared." Gina shook, beginning to sob once again, crossing her arms and hugging herself. Hands gripping onto her top, holding on to something, anything that kept her from falling.

"G? Come on." Emily coaxed, swallowing as she prepared for whatever Gina was about to say. Part of her wishing that she'd never come to Naomi's house, never walked through that door.

"I... I found a lump. I went to the doctors today, they did tests." Gina finally managed to stutter out, as if saying the words out loud made them feel more real than before, it also felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. A weight that was swiftly, and unwittingly, transferred to Emily's.

"Do they think its..." Emily trailed, her voice barely a croak, not being able to say that word, because it was a word that felt like a death sentence.

"You know how sometimes you can just feel it, feel something bad, even without confirmation. I know it Emily, I have cancer, and now I'm scared if I die... What will happen to Naomi?" Gina asked, though her voice sounded a lot clearer than before. Emily didn't have answers, instead settling for wrapping her arms tightly round Gina. She felt shattered, wondering if she really could hide how broken she felt from Naomi.


	16. I'm Better Off When I Hit The Bottom

Emily was peeling and chopping, preparing the meal like everything was normal, like her head didn't feel like it was about explode. It was all about appearances, the appearance of normality that would mean Naomi wouldn't suspect a thing. Emily was so preoccupied with the facade that she lost concentration, catching the knife on the edge of her thumb, Emily yelped out in pain rushing to the sink to wash it under the tap.

"Is everything alright hon?" Gina asked, moving into the kitchen the second she had heard Emily's cry. Spotting what Emily had done, Gina rushed over to the sink, rinsing the blood away before pressing a clean tea towel against the cut to stem the bleeding.

"I'm a clumsy idiot." Emily muttered, not able to meet Gina's eye, tears stinging in her own it felt silly to be getting upset over a cut when Gina had something so much bigger to worry about.

"I'm sorry." Gina sighed looking at the girl in front of her, realising how much she'd put on her. "I shouldn't have said anything Emily, I can see you're struggling."

"I just don't understand how you can keep this from Naomi, she loves you, she worships the ground you walk on, even if she won't ever admit it. Naomi would support you, she'd be able to help." Emily blurted out, unable to contain her confusion any longer. Flinching as Gina applied pressure to the cut, who kept one hand clutched around the tea towel as the other flailed around reaching for plasters.

"You know Naomi, you know she's a worrier, that she's got all kind of issues with trusting people and loving them. I've been the only constant in her life, and even I've screwed up more times than I'd care to admit. If I tell her she'll lose it, you know it and I know it. So I want to keep it quiet, just for now Emily, just until I know for sure." Gina explained, smiling as she removed the tea towel, pressing a plaster to the cut, lingering, she kept hold of Emily's hand, her eyes pleading with Emily to support her.

"Okay, for now. If we get the news though and it's bad, we tell Naomi straight away." Emily insisted, a determined look on her face that told Gina she wouldn't shift on this detail.

"We?" Gina asked, raising an eyebrow at the determined red head in front of her.

"You've involved me, now you've got to put up with me. I'll go with you to the doctors when you get your results, you'll need someone there." Emily explained, not giving Gina any opportunity to argue, she moved back to the vegetables, discarding the blood splattered carrot piece, before continuing with the preparation.

Gina sighed, smiling at Emily, grateful that her daughter had chosen someone as amazing as Emily. Moving over to Emily, Gina placed a kiss on Emily's cheek, thanking her for the support.

"I'm just going to grab a quick shower love." Gina smiled, eager to get under the hot water, to wash away her problems.

"I'm making enough for three!" Emily called as Gina walked away, Naomi would probably complain about the inclusion of her mother in their romantic dinner, but Emily was determined to look after Gina.

**

JJ hadn't really known where to go after Katie had made him leave, he was torn between a determination to go back and beg her to let him in, and the hope that if he left maybe Katie would realise how much she missed him, and how much she needed him. Deciding that leaving was the best option, JJ still couldn't face going home, facing a barrage of questions from his mother as to where he has spent the night. Instead JJ found himself walking in the direction of Cook's college accommodation, hoping maybe his friend could make sense of the complications JJ just couldn't figure out.

Slinking up the stairs, JJ paused remembering a shamefaced Pandora rushing past him the last time he'd come to visit Cook. He'd avoided the place since then, their friendship hadn't been quite the same since everything had started to fall apart, since Effy had worked her way inside the minds of the three musketeers, breaking them apart. Making them doubt their friendship, making them lose the trust and faith that had existed in them since they were five years old in grey shorts and pulled up socks, running around on the playground. Little Freddie and Cook instant best friends, who found shy little Jonah sitting on his own on a bench, Airfix airplane in his hand. Cook had asked to see the plane, had accidently broke it within five-seconds, Jonah had cried and run off leaving a guilty looking Cook behind. The next day Cook had presented Jonah with a brand new plane, one which he had spent all his pocket money buying, and the entire night constructing, it was nowhere near as perfect as the original, but the effort was appreciated and a friendship was formed.

It was remembering things like this that helped JJ understand that no matter what, they would always have this bond. It was why JJ always forgave Cook, why he always went back to him for support and advice, it was why the Supermarine Spitfire sat pride of place amongst JJ's other models, even though the quality and craftsmanship was way below the standard of the others.

Knocking on the door, JJ waited patiently for Cook to answer and let him inside. The second Cook spotted JJ, he exploded into a wide grin, ushering JJ inside. JJ paused the minute he stepped into the room, taking in the fact that it was inexplicably clean, the bed made, his clothes hung up, it didn't even have that funny smell that JJ had just about gotten used to.

"Jay-bizzle!! How are you my gorgeous boy?" Cook exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his best mate, pulling him in close. JJ couldn't help but notice that Cook actually smelt clean, he was even wearing aftershave, and his clothes had that undeniable smell of fabric softener.

"This room is very tidy Cook, I'm ever so slightly confused. Are the college doing inspections or something?" JJ asked, it being the only possible explanation for why there wouldn't be mouldy Pot Noodle cartons spread across the desk.

"Na mate, college don't bother with shit like that. It's for Ruby mate, she didn't like the smell...Or the dirt...Or the mould." Cook laughed, polishing his TV whilst JJ stood mouth agape at this new domesticated Cook.

"Cook this is ever so slightly weird, I didn't think you changed for girls? I thought that girls were 'only good for a quick shag, blowie or handjob' or did I mishear?" JJ asked, repeating Cook's past words back to him, blushing slightly at the vulgarity of them.

"Mate, though all those things are good, and trust me Ruby is fucking good at them, I want a girl yeah. I don't want to screw it up, I don't want to lose her." Cook explained, shrugging as if what he was saying wasn't the strangest thing JJ had ever heard come out of Cook's mouth.

"You're worried she likes Naomi, you're worried the same thing will happen as with Effy." JJ suggested, growling as Cook smacked him in the arm.

"Shut the fuck up mate yeah? Naomi's with Emily, Ruby's with me. Nothing is going to change that." Cook insisted, feeling instantly guilty for hitting JJ, rubbing his friends arm before sighing and flopping down on his bed. It still smelt like Ruby from where she'd slept the night before, it drove him insane and he hated how it made him feel.

"Sorry Cook, it's just, well Katie is a little worried, she doesn't want Emily getting hurt." JJ explained, sitting himself down on Cook's desk chair.

"Wondered how long it would take for you to mention Katiekins, how the hell did you manage to land that one? Shagged her yet? Freddie reckons she goes like the clappers!" Cook grinned manically, winking at an unimpressed looking JJ.

"Cook please don't talk like that about her, it's not nice and it's not respectful. She's my girlfriend, she's been treated like crap by guys in the past, and that includes Freddie." JJ warned, a determined glint in his eyes that warned Cook continuing would be a bad idea.

"Fuck dude, you've got it bad haven't you?" Cook smiled, surprised by just how fast JJ and Katie's relationship had grown, happy that he was happy.

"Yeah... I have." JJ admitted with blush, fiddling with his phone, wondering if he should call Katie and see how she was doing.

"Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen." Cook nodded, reaching and grabbing the phone out of JJ's hands. Patting the end of the bed, beckoning for JJ to come and join him, JJ plonked himself on the bed, leaning against the wall, Cook's legs on top of him, the two sat in a comfortable silence, both wallowing in relationship troubles.

**

Naomi rubbed her hands together desperately trying to create some warmth, Emily was right about these fucking things, it was hypothermia central. Spotting a bare pair of legs was what caught Naomi's attention first, she was about to exclaim something about how the owner of said legs must be crazy, when she realised they were attached to Effy.

"Ever heard of trousers?" Naomi scoffed, taking in the entirety of Effy T-shirt dress with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm such a naturally warm person I don't need layers." Effy laughed, watching as Naomi removed her coat, pulled off her hoody and chucked it at her, before putting the coat back on. Effy smiled, tugging the hoody on, immediately grateful of the warmth.

"What the fuck are you doing here anyway?" Naomi asked, linking her arm through Effy's as the two walked over to where the rest of the protesters were standing.

"Bored, read about this in some leaflet that got pushed through out door, figured you'd be here. Where's Ems?" Effy asked, short emotionless sentences that were so characteristically Effy. The two girls huddled together for warmth, Effy jumping slightly as Naomi started shouting, joining in the chanting of the rest of the protesters.

"Sorry I get a bit carried away." Naomi blushed, noticing how shocked Effy was by her outburst of determination for a cause. "Ems is preparing a surprise for me."

"A sexy surprise?" Effy smiled, raising her eyebrows before winking at her friend.

"We're not... We're kind of... Well, we're abstaining from sex at the moment." Naomi muttered, blushing at the look of surprise on Effy's face.

"Fucking hell what's wrong? Crabs?" Effy teased, nudging Naomi, before yelling out one of the protest lines with a cheeky grin, taking Naomi by surprise.

"You're disgusting you know?" Naomi sighed, turning her attention to the large collective of police officers who'd arrived, immediately shooing the protesters away. Within seconds someone had thrown a punch and a massive brawl broke out. Effy giggling with joy, Naomi couldn't help but laugh at the childish excitement exuding from her friend. Delivering a swift kick to a police officer, Effy realised she'd perhaps got a little too caught up in the excitement. Naomi met Effy's eyes. "Time to run?"

"Unless you fancy getting carted off by the boys in blue I'd say yes!" Effy squealed, grabbing hold of Naomi's hand the two ran as fast as their legs could possibly carry them, not stopping until they were as far away from the protest site as possible.

"Fucking hell, it's always an adventure with you isn't it?" Naomi panted, resting her hands on her thighs as she tried to catch her breath. Effy slumped down against the wall next to her.

"What can I say, I have a violent nature." Effy shrugged, digging in Naomi's bag for a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a long drag.

"Help yourself." Naomi muttered, slumping down next to Effy. Leaning her head on Effy's shoulder.

"You alright there?" Effy asked, offering up the cigarette to Naomi who shook her head, Effy flicked it away, turning her attention back to Naomi. "Is this about the no sex? I'm sure if you asked Emily nicely she'd happily jump you, I've seen her horny look, that girl wants you bad on a near permanent basis."

"It's not that, me and Emily are fine, the no sex is good for us. We're talking more you know? Kissing more, holding hands more, I like it. Plus when we do give in, it will be fucking good." Naomi laughed, grinning manically at the thought.

"Emily has skills then?" Effy asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively, noticing the lustful look that had taken over Naomi.

"Emily's a perfectionist at all things in life." Naomi replied, with a smug smile, her body tingling slightly at the thought, considering maybe breaking the no sex rule tonight, especially if Emily's romantic surprise was good.

Effy rolled her eyes, about to reply with some dirty comment, stopping when she looked up to see Freddie walking past, he paused slightly, looking slightly disheveled, as if he hadn't slept. Opening his mouth as if he was about to say something, he quickly turned and walked away.

"What's happening there?" Naomi asked, placing her hand on Effy's shoulder, encouraging her to talk. Effy shook her head and leaned back, not wanting to speak, but unable to avoid Naomi's detemined glare.

"I don't want him." Effy replied simply, her stomach churning at the realisation, hating her heart for playing games with her, for messing her up and for causing all the problems from the past year. She was such a twisted mess, always hurting people, but she couldn't look at Freddie without being reminded of what she did to Katie. That guilt had destroyed the feelings she'd had for him, Freddie was just another person suffering from her actions.

"He looks broken." Naomi pointed out, biting her lip, she knew Effy didn't need a lecture right now, but what was the point of friends if they couldn't tell you a few home truths from time to time.

"I know." Effy gulped, shaking her head.

"Come on trouble, I'll walk you home, I've got a horny girlfriend waiting for me remember?" Naomi smiled, standing up and reaching out her hand for Effy to grab onto. Pulling her friend up the two girls walked back to Effy's, mostly in silence, each grateful for the company of the other.

**

Katie hovered on JJ's doorstep, she couldn't quite believe she was here, couldn't believe she'd left the house but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. She'd quickly realised it wasn't the smartest plan in the world, especially as she'd jumped about a foot in the air at every single sound. She'd almost turned around three times, but she needed to sort things out. Only problem was now she was here, she couldn't quite muster up to courage to knock on the door.

"Wishing it open won't work, you actually need to knock." JJ smiled, wandering up the path behind Katie having returned from Cook's. The shock of JJ's voice scared the life out of Katie, she turned around and swiftly threw a punch at JJ's chest.

"Fucking idiot! Scared the shit out of me you fucking stupid idiot." Katie snapped, tears springing to her eyes, someone coming up behind her and scaring her was a little too similar to the attack.

JJ immediately realised how stupid he'd been, quickly pulling Katie in tightly, she wrapped her arms around JJ letting out a little sob into his chest. Stroking Katie's hair, he let her pull away slightly so he could wipe the tears away from her face.

"I'm stupid, really stupid, I didn't mean to scare you Katie, I promise I would never purposely upset you. I'm really stupid, stupid nutjob, fucking idiot, stupid bloody idiot..." JJ started ranting, letting his hands drop to his sides, punching his thighs as he punished himself for scaring Katie.

"Babes you're getting locked on, you didn't mean to scare me yeah, I'm just a bit jumpy." Katie soothed, grabbing hold of his clenched fists. "Please stop that." Katie insisted, feeling his hands unclench themselves, she slipped her own hands around his, intertwining their fingers, Katie leaned in for a kiss.

"I'll be more careful in future I promise." JJ smiled, leaning down to meet Katie's lips, his thumb brushing away the last of Katie's tears. "I'm sorry about walking out on you earlier, I should have tried harder, should have been a better boyfriend."

"I guess we never got to how to deal with grumpy girlfriends in our lessons." Katie laughed, feeling nicely at ease with what they were calling each other now. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, I don't want to lose you, I'm just struggling with some stuff at the moment."

"I know, I can put up with anything, anything you're going through, if you need to shout and scream I'm here." JJ promised, knowing that he didn't really like people getting angry at him, especially for no legitimate reason, but for Katie he was willing to make an exception.

"I can't keep punishing you for things other people have done to me. You're too good, too kind." Katie sighed, feeling completely unworthy of JJ once again, what other guy would open himself up to verbal abuse and the job of being a punching bag just to make her feel better?

"You can't keep punishing yourself for the bad things other people have done either." JJ smiled, running his hand along Katie's cheek. Taking her hand, he pulled her in the direction of the front door. "Come on, it's freezing out here."

Unlocking the door, JJ carried on grasping onto Katie's hand, the two of them stepping inside the house. JJ's mum popped her head around the corner, and Katie blushed as she said a quick hello. The two of them making their way upstairs, JJ's mum was left mouth agape yet again.

Katie loved being back in JJ's room, it smelt like him, everything in it reminded her of him and it was perfect. Doing a quick walk around, JJ stood back and let Katie explore, finally she stopped in front of JJ's mind map, her mind flashing back to the last time she'd stood in front of it, searching for a certain part.

_Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Emily_

Only it didn't say that anymore, the 'Emily' had been scribbled out, in a determined way so that you couldn't read it anymore. Carefully it had been replaced.

_Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Katie_

Katie paused for a second, taking it in before turning and looking at JJ who was blushing red with the unintentional admission. Wishing he'd thought more carefully before bringing Katie up here, wishing he could read Katie's expression, but that was something he always struggled with. Katie turned, she was heading over to her bag and JJ was certain he'd blown it, certain that he'd rushed too fast and now she was going to walk away. He was slightly confused when instead she was digging around inside the bag, looking for something, smiling when she finally found it. She made her way over to the wall, standing on JJ's desk chair to reach, making an addition, before stepping down and standing back to admire it.

JJ walked over, standing next to Katie he looked up to read what she had written. Letting out a muttered 'oh' JJ blushed, feeling Katie reach for his hand, the two stood together hand in hand looking at the mind map.

_Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Katie, Katie loves JJ._


	17. Breeze Feels More Like Shards Of Glass

The minute Naomi stepped inside her house, taking in the aroma of cooking food, she was immediately grateful that Emily's romantic surprise involved food, the running from the police had certainly built up an appetite. Kicking off her shoes and shrugging off her coat, Naomi tiptoed in the kitchen, planning to sneak up on Emily and surprise her with a kiss, instead Emily was slumped at the kitchen table, tears in her eyes, not realising that Naomi was stood watching her.

"Ems? Ems, what's wrong?" Naomi panicked, rushing over to Emily, dropping to her knees and reaching out to stroke Emily's face. Naomi noted the surprise in Emily's face, and the sudden change in Emily's demeanor, as if she was trying to pretend she hadn't been caught crying.

"Oh nothing, hi you." Emily smiled, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend, hoping that Naomi would forget about the crying if she deepened the kiss, get Naomi caught up in the moment.

"Why have you been crying? Emily what's wrong?" Naomi quizzed, pulling back from Emily, concern etched on her face. Naomi was never going to let something like this slide, Emily had to come up with an excuse and fast.

"I'm being a big wimp, cut my finger earlier. It's alright though your mum sorted it out, it just hurts a bit." Emily smiled, holding up her plaster covered finger to act as proof, Naomi's face immediately softened, kissing the tip of Emily's finger.

"Better?" Naomi grinned, placing another kiss on Emily's lips, loving being able to put a smile on Emily's face with the simplest of actions.

"Much better." Emily nodded, trying her hardest now to give away nothing about how she was feeling, cursing herself for not keeping a better eye on the time, for letting Naomi see her upset. It made Emily wonder how on earth she was supposed to contain this horrible secret, when it was upsetting her as much as it was.

"You said my mum helped, is she home? Thought she'd be spending the day with Kieran?" Naomi asked, moving over and picking at some of the food that was waiting to be served, recoiling as Emily slapped her hand away, pouting at Emily, she slumped down at the kitchen table drumming impatiently.

"Erm no she's home, I kind of invited her to our dinner." Emily admitted quickly, pulling out plates and starting to dish up the food.

"Wow Ems you really do know how to romance a girl, invite her mother along!" Naomi sighed rolling her eyes as she realised the table was set for three, fantastic, she thought to herself, a sexy night in was looking less and less likely.

"It's just dinner, then we can spend the rest of the night together, I got a couple of films from Blockbusters earlier." Emily smiled, pointing to the bag of DVD's sitting on the floor, watching as Naomi reached inside, scanning the titles.

"Oh I'll just invite my mum to watch those with us as well." Naomi scoffed, placing them back into the bag, rubbing her temples before turning back to Emily.

"We could do..." Emily shrugged, seriously contemplating involving Gina in their evening plans as well as their dinner plans, she knew it was a bad suggestion the moment an appalled look spread across Naomi's face.

"Emily! I'm not being serious, bloody hell, the woman is irritating enough as it is, I don't really need to spend an entire evening with her!" Naomi laughed, expecting Emily to join in the joke, she was always saying little things about Gina, only this time Emily wasn't laughing as well, she looked stern and serious.

"Don't be like that Naomi, you don't mean it." Emily scolded, shaking her head. Knowing that Naomi wouldn't be saying these things if she knew the truth, wishing she could share the Gina's secret with Naomi, to try and make all of this better.

"Oh I do." Naomi grinned, nudging Emily, trying to raise a smile from her girlfriend, completely confused when all she got was anger.

"Naomi can't you just be nice for five fucking minutes?!" Emily snapped furiously, finally losing her temper with Naomi, she immediately regretted it, she was letting her emotions show, Naomi was going to know that something was wrong.

"What the fuck is up with you, as lovely as it is you joining the Gina fucking Campbell fanclub, you're MY girlfriend, so a bit of loyalty wouldn't go amiss." Naomi sniped back, feeling rage build up inside her, the meal Emily had prepared was sat on the side getting increasingly cold as the argument took over.

"Grow the fuck up Naomi." Emily muttered turning to the food, trying to salvage the meal, trying to avoid Naomi's eyes, afraid that they would see through her and tear the truth right out of her.

"Whatever. How about I go out and leave you two to it, clearly my presence isn't appreciated." Naomi stropped, walking towards the kitchen door, intent on leaving Emily to it if she was going to act like this.

"Just stop it." Emily cried out, bursting into tears that immediately caused Naomi to spin round, marching back in Naomi's direction as Emily paused, muttering "I'm sorry."

"Emily come on what's this all about? You're in such a weird mood." Naomi sighed, reaching out to wrap Emily in her arms, completely confused by whatever was going on with Emily. Clearly her girlfriend had something going on, something she was withholding, she just needed Emily to share, there was no way she could make things better by just guessing.

"Just kiss me and tell me everything will be alright." Emily murmured, desperate for Naomi's assurance. It was the only thing she felt she could rely on, everything she needed right now.

"Of course it will." Naomi shrugged, not sure what Emily meant, coaxing Emily to look into her eyes, pulling her chin up with her finger. Naomi shot Emily a puzzled look that begged for an explanation.

"Say it." Emily insisted, begging Naomi to ease her worries away like she had so many times in the past.

"Everythings going to be alright." Naomi promised, not exactly sure what she was promising, but unable to dwell on it as Emily pushed her into a forceful kiss. Only interrupted by Gina wandering in to check to see if dinner was ready.

**

Somehow they'd ended up on JJ's bed, Katie straddling JJ, the kissing intensifying as Katie's hands slipped under JJ's T-shirt almost clawing at his chest. There was a safety that Katie found in being with JJ and suddenly her nightmares seemed less prominent, maybe this was partly about proving that she hadn't been totally screwed up by what could have almost have happened to her, but she was enjoying it and so was JJ. Though JJ found himself a little unsure about what to do with his own hands, contemplating stopping the kiss to ask Katie, but remembering that most of this was just about instinct. Settling for resting his hands on Katie's lower back, steadying her on top of him. The contact of his hands on her warm, soft skin immediately gave him butterflies, his throat constricting with nerves, he tried to force away thought and just let himself become engaged in whatever it was he and Katie were doing. Of course wondering about how far this was going to go, in turn started off a whole new collection of worries, were they going to have sex? Would Katie make it clear or was he supposed to make some kind of move? It was making his head confused, and Katie could immediately tell that he was distracted.

"What are you thinking about?" Katie asked, pursing her lips together into a tight line, narrowing her eyes into an inquisitorial glare.

"Sex...Oh bobbins." JJ shook his head, cursing his stupid brain for blurting out the truth, closing his eyes tightly to avert from the way Katie was looking at him.

There was a slight rustling, a movement on top of him as Katie seemed to shift, before the noise stopped and the room fell silent once again. JJ could still feel Katie there, resting on his lap, but he couldn't quite work up the courage to open his eyes.

"Open your eyes JJ." Katie commanded, JJ did what he was told, gulping hard as he took in the sight in front of him, Katie having removed her top, she was smiling back at him, almost looking as nervous as he did. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to yeah?"

"Isn't that what the guy is supposed to say to the girl?" JJ pondered, smiling at Katie's concern, but struggling to contain himself, especially as Katie began to lift up his own top. The second he felt the cold air hit his chest, he immediately wanted to pull Katie close to create heat between them.

"I just don't want to rush you, I want you so fucking much, but we're special yeah? So just kissing you is just as good." Katie explained, placing a forceful kiss on JJ's lips to prove the point.

"I want this." JJ murmured, reaching round to unhook Katie's bra, she was taken by surprise as she felt it slide down her arms, gasping as she watched JJ's cheeky grin spread across his face. "You're beautiful."

The words made Katie shake, no guy had ever said them to her before, they meant so much, she knew it was the way JJ felt, could see from the way he was looking at her like she was the greatest girl on the planet, the only one that mattered, that this was meant to be.

"JJ..." Katie started, jumping out of her skin as the bedroom door flew open and JJ's mum walked in with a tray, two glasses of mango juice and a plate of biscuits piled on top of it. Katie squealed, grabbing JJ's T-shirt that was hanging from the edge of the bed, pulling it on over her head.

JJ's mum stood momentarily shocked, the tray dropping from her grip, the glasses smashing on the floor, the biscuits bouncing off into various directions. Her mouth slightly agape as she struggled to find words, instead turning on her heels and marching straight back out of the room.

"Fuckerations." JJ muttered, eyes wide as he scanned the destruction on his bedroom floor, before looking over to Katie who was struggling to contain a giggle. "I should go and explain, sort things out, say sorry or something."

"Jay I'd sort that out first." Katie smiled, looking down at JJ's prominent excitement. JJ immediately crossed his legs embarrassed, trying to avoid Katie because there was no way looking at her was going to sort anything out.

"Right yes, will probably head to the bathroom. Err... I'm sorry Katie, maybe we should try this again when I don't have a parent in the house, I mean I want to try it again... If you'll let me, I hope I haven't lost my opportunity." JJ stuttered, searching for another T-shirt to pull on seeing as Katie looked so comfortable in the one he'd been wearing previously.

"Course we will idiot." Katie smiled, standing up and kissing him. Watching him walk away, Katie started to pull of JJ's T-shirt, finding her own clothes strewn across the floor.

Standing up, Katie chuckled to herself, wandering round she dropped the T-shirt onto JJ's desk, wandering bare chested she suddenly caught sight of herself in the mirror. Aware that her bruises were standing out against her pale skin. Suddenly entranced by the sight of a deep purplish mess spread across her skin, Katie's mind flashed back to the feeling of the guy who had attacked her, his hands on her, pulling her with such force and aggression. Letting out a strangled sob, suddenly she didn't feel sexy anymore, or beautiful, she felt damaged.

**

The rest of the night had passed by uneventfully, conversation at dinner had been strange, Emily quiet, Gina overcompensating as she nattered away, Naomi sat in the middle puzzled yet aware that things weren't quite right. Gina had excused herself straight after dinner, and the girls had settled in to watch one of the movies that Emily had rented. Half way through Emily had insisted that she wanted to go to sleep, but that Naomi should stay and finish the film, when Naomi joined Emily in bed an hour later, Emily was fast asleep and Naomi's plans for a romantic night in had been well and truely destroyed.

Emily awoke before Naomi, watching her girlfriend sleep she couldn't almost feel the words of Gina's secret resting between her lips, desperate for their escape. Emily contemplated waking up Naomi and telling her everything, rationing with herself that it was a selfish action, trying to force herself back to sleep.

When Naomi eventually awoke, she tried to kiss Emily, tried to ignite the passion she'd wanted to desperately to indulge in the night before, but Emily simply smiled, making some teasing joke about waiting, really she just couldn't bear Naomi showing her affection. Naomi sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time, explaining that she had to go into town, not extending the invitation to Emily, leaving her girlfriend alone in bed.

Spreading herself out on Naomi's bed, Emily felt a bit like an intruder, pushing Naomi out of her own home, it was clear to Emily that Naomi had gone out to get away from her. Emily sighed, deciding she needed to get her head together, stop being so bloody obvious, this was all going to be over in a few days, Gina would get her results and everything would be okay. Emily pulled herself up, she figured that being away from home for two days already had been too much, she was surprised her mum hadn't rang her to complain, figuring Katie must have smoothed things over for her.

Reaching down blindly, reaching for a top she knew she had dropped down the side of Naomi's bed the day before, Emily's hand instead met with something different, something furry. Retracting her hand, Emily swung herself over the side of the bed, dropping down to be met with the terrified glare of Pauline the cat.

"Hi." Emily spluttered, realising only after she'd finished her greeting, that she was infact talking to a cat who wouldn't understand or reply.

Pulling herself back up onto the bed, Emily scrunched up her face as the cat jumped up and settled next to her, Emily had never been a fan of cats and this one wasn't going to be an exception. Emily tried to create a distance, but found that Pauline would simply move closer to her with every escape attempt.

"I'm going... Maybe you should go downstairs because Naomi probably won't be happy with hairs all over her bed... Fucks sake, I'm talking to a fucking cat!" Emily muttered, brushing a hand through her hair, close to finally shifting herself off the bed when Pauline made an epic leap to curl herself up on Emily's lap.

Letting out a high pitched squeal, Emily threw her hands up, hoping that it would be enough to scare away the furry intruder. The cat however was completely unfazed, nuzzling in, and letting out a satisfied purr.

"I don't like you! Please stop it with the weird noises and leave me alone, fucking freak." Emily grumbled, pushing Pauline away with both of her hands, but the cat was steadfast in its resolve, determined not to move from its comfortable spot.

"Ems darling are you alright?" Gina asked cautiously popping her head around the door, laughing as she saw Emily being held prisoner by the cat, walking over and lifting the cat up, cuddling it close to her own chest.

"It sat on me." Emily cringed, brushing off the multitude of cat hairs that had stuck themselves to her jeans, Gina watched amused, stroking Pauline's head who gratefully rubbed up against Gina. "It's so fucking smug! Look at it!" Emily gestured towards the oblivious cat.

"Emily if you're angry at me come out and say it, don't take it out on a defenseless animal." Gina sighed, placing the cat back down who scampered out the room, unaware of the tension she was leaving behind.

"You have to tell Naomi." Emily insisted "This isn't fair, I can't lie to my girlfriend and you shouldn't be asking me to!" Releasing a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, Emily felt lighter from releasing her frustrations.

"Emily please." Gina muttered, tears springing to her eyes.

"I'll lose her, not you. She'll always forgive you, you're her mum, you might be sick, she'll understand. Me betraying her she will never understand, I'll just be someone else in her life she can't trust. I want to help you Gina, I really do, but I won't risk my relationship to do it." Emily sighed, pushing past Gina desperate to escape from the Campbell house, needing so badly to be outside, to be on her way home, to be away from everything.

**

Naomi needed a bit of space, she took a bus into town and had a quick wander round all the shops in the high street, of course it was a useless method of forgetting about Emily, whenever she went in a shop she'd spot something that would remind her of Emily, or something that Emily would love. Heading up a side street, Naomi eventually found the smaller shops she loved. Independent shops that she preferred spending money in, rather than the large corporate owned chains that her mother had drummed into her from a young age were basically evil. Calling into a record store, she began to flick through the masses of CD's, not really sure what she was looking for, but it was giving her something to do.

"Naomi! Hello, how are you my friend?" The voice that was so distinctively Thomas, made Naomi spin around, her smiling friend was beaming at her, an armful of vinyl clutched to his chest.

"Hey Thomas, I'm alright. Never seen you in here before." Naomi forced a smile, not really wanting to make conversation with someone that was so permanently happy, not when she was feeling down. But Thomas seemed like he was settling in for an exchange of words, even placing down his vinyls so that he could dedicate his full attention to the blonde.

"It's a good place for whizzer tunes, I've picked up some very good music." Thomas nodded, Naomi smirking slightly at how Thomas's vocabulary now included some of Pandora's random words.

Thumbing through Thomas's choices, Naomi nodded in approval to the ones she recognised, a look of confusion at some of the more obscure records. Thomas watched her, picking up on Naomi's mood, noticing something was bothering her beyond what music he would be listening to.

"How are things with Emily?" Thomas asked, Naomi's head jerking up at the mention of Emily's name. Chewing on her lip, Naomi pushed the pile of vinyl back towards Thomas, he made it very easy to want to open up to him, but she wasn't sure she could explain something she didn't understand herself.

"I thought I was suppose to be the complicated one, why is Emily making this so hard?" Naomi admitted, shrugging and turning back to the CD's she'd been looking through, Thomas placed a hand on Naomi's shoulder, forcing her to look at him.

"Love is never easy." Thomas sighed, it was something he knew only too well. "Did Emily ever tell you about the night I found her at the bus stop? I've never seen anyone so broken, so in love. Whatever Emily is doing, I don't think she means to hurt you."

Naomi felt her heart pound slightly, Emily had shared a few details about that night, she knew that it had been after she'd told Emily she wouldn't go to the Love Ball with her, after she'd hurt Emily so badly. To hear that Emily's love was so obvious even after that, it made Naomi ache. Naomi nodded a yes, but her expression indicated that she didn't want Thomas to expand on the subject, she couldn't hear about Emily crying and suffering because of her actions.

"She's hiding something from me, I can see it, she can't hide things like that without me noticing because I know her." Naomi sighed, running her fingers through her hair, admitting what had been haunting her all day, the fact that she knew Emily was lying about something, she just didn't know what.

"Do you trust her?" Thomas asked, his brow furrowed, watching Naomi's expression change to one of quiet contemplation.

"Yes, I mean it's nothing like _that_, I know she's not cheating or anything. Well, I don't think she is, she wouldn't would she? There's something wrong though, the thing about Emily is normally everything is so obvious. She doesn't trust me with something, but I trust her with everything." Naomi stuttered through her thoughts, chewing on her lip again, flinching as she broke the skin, bringing her finger up to the now bleeding lip.

"I trusted my Pandora with every fiber of my being, my trust was wrongly invested, make sure yours isn't." Thomas muttered solemnly, his own heart clearly dented by Pandora's actions.

"I thought you two were back on track?" Naomi asked, they'd seemed so together every-time she'd seen them, Pandora had seemed so dedicated to earning back Thomas's trust, and Thomas had seemed so eager to work at it.

"Something I have realised, that even if the heart loves, sometimes the mind cannot let go of betrayal. It haunts you, poisons you, and it becomes too difficult to love when all you see are the lies that tore you apart." Thomas explained, with a sad smile, he bid Naomi farewell, carrying his vinyls to the till to pay for them. Naomi stared watching until she saw Thomas walk away, swinging his carrier bag, she watched him all down the street until he disappeared out of sight.


	18. You Can Fall, If You Want To

**My near-xmas update, I wish I could give you pure fluff, it being the time of goodwill and all, but thats not where the story is at and I know you guys would rather I was true to the story rather than give you some soppy crap. So here you go, it's one of my favourite chapters so I hope you enjoy it. Happy xmas to all my readers, and to all of you that don't celebrate xmas, happy friday! **

**(This is for Miss Peg, with lots of eclairs, because I couldn't ask for a better fiction buddy)**

Emily took the long way home, the longer the walk the more time she had to clear her head of all the rubbish that was clouding it. Pulling out her mobile phone, she noticed that the screen was frozen, judging by the date that it had frozen on it hadn't been working since the night out at the club. Pulling off the back, Emily took the battery out leaving it a couple of minutes, before replacing it and turning the phone back on.

_27 missed calls_

"Fuck!" Emily cursed, checking her texts, finding she had about ten of those to accompany the missed calls. Reading through the texts, Emily was panicking, the words swirling about, something about Katie getting attacked, making her legs move at double the speed they were before. Her heart didn't stop racing until she turned into her road, practically running down it, crashing through the front door.

"Katie?" Jenna's voice called, laced with concern, appearing in the hallway, her face dropping when she saw it was Emily instead of Katie.

"Is she alright? Where is she? I only just got the messages, what happened, please tell me Katie is okay." Emily rushed, following her mother who had already moved back into the living room, fiddling with her phone, presumably texting Katie.

"Now you care Emily?" Jenna snapped, clearly frustrated with her daughter. Jenna softened when she saw the worry etched on Emily's face, patting the sofa next to her, indicating for Emily to come sit down. "I'm sorry babe, it's just Katie's gone out and she hasn't told me where."

"But she's alright? The other night? What the hell happened mum?" Emily questioned, moving closer to her mum, any of the issues with Naomi and Gina temporarily moving out of her head, whilst her own family's took priority.

"She walked home on her own, silly girl, some man he grabbed her. God know what would have happened if JJ hadn't come along, him and that Cook boy scared the attacker away. It's good she has a nice boyfriend to look after her, I assume that's where she is now." Jenna sighed, pressing call on her phone again to try to reach Katie.

"Boyfriend?" Emily asked confused, raising an eyebrow. Surely she wasn't talking about JJ? Katie wasn't seeing anyone was she?

"JJ darling, the strange boy that took you to the dance, looks like he's got his eye on our Katie instead. He was the only person she was responding to, she was pretty shook up." Jenna explained, oblivious to the look of shock on Emily's face.

"Katie and JJ aren't going out, they're just friends mum." Emily insisted, her mum must have got it wrong because there was no way that Katie and JJ would be together, Katie had denied it, plus it was impossible because Katie was Katie and JJ was JJ and the two things just didn't work together.

"Well darling, I may be getting older, but back in my day sharing a bed with someone meant you were a little more than friends." Jenna laughed raising an eyebrow. "He's lucky your dad didn't catch him, because he wouldn't have reacted as nicely as me. Your dad loves you girls, like fierce, but to him you two will always be little girls."

Emily couldn't find any words, settling instead for a wide eyed look and a splutter, snapping out of her shock when she heard the door open. Both Emily and Jenna looking up to watch Katie enter the room, looking a bit tearful.

"I'm a fucking mess." Katie sobbed, both Jenna and Emily standing up, but it was Emily's arms that Katie sought out, tucking herself in tightly against her twins body, holding onto her with a determined ferocity.

"It's alright Kaykay, I'm here yeah? Emsy's here." Emily whispered, clutching onto Katie, whilst Jenna stood alongside feeling helpless.

"Oh baby." Jenna muttered, reaching out to stroke Katie's cheek. Enveloping both her girls in a hug. "Your dad and James set off on their fishing trip this morning, how about a girls night?" Jenna suggested, stroking Katie's hair.

Katie looked up at the suggestion, looking at Emily to see what she thought of the idea, Emily shrugged, indicating for Katie to make the decision for them. Jenna could see that the girls looked hesitant, feeling slightly upset that the idea of spending time with her wasn't one they relished.

"I guess we could." Katie forced a smile, wracking her brains to remember if they'd ever had a 'girls night' before, wondering exactly what it would entail.

"You could look a little enthusiastic, I've got three bottles of wine, a pizza and a large bag of Doritos." Jenna smiled, laughing at the shock on Emily and Katie's face. "Oh come on girls! Ever heard of fun?"

"Pizza?" Emily asked, not completely sure such an item of food had ever entered the Fitch household. She wasn't even sure her mum had even eaten a pizza before, normally all meals contained beetroot, and Emily wasn't sure anywhere made a beetroot pizza.

"Yes Emily pizza, pepperoni in fact, extra cheese. Just don't tell your dad about the junk food and we'll be fine!" Jenna grinned wickedly, almost skipping off into the kitchen, leaving Emily and Katie, eyebrows raised looking at each other.

"Who is that and what have they done with mum?" Katie asked with a look of pure confusion, resting her head on Emily's shoulder.

"I think she's making an effort to bond with us, we should go along with it, she's trying at least." Emily shrugged, kissing the side of Katie's head. "Anyway you, want to talk? Explain what's got you so upset? Oh and tell me about what exactly is going on between you and JJ! I'm the last one to find out as usual."

"Don't pout Ems, it makes you look like a fish." Katie instructed, pulling Emily down onto the sofa next to her, glad she had her sister, she needed to talk to someone. Briefly she wondered how JJ was, having snuck out of his house before he'd returned from talking with his mum, she hadn't been able to face him.

**

"Right so I buggering told him, he had to stop being so blinking weird about the whole Cookie mistake, or we'd never be able to just get on with being boyfriend and girlfriend. Only problem is Eff, I think Thommo might have dumped me, so now I figure I should be crying, but I'm not, but that's probably because I'm a bit squiffy on this." Panda sighed pointing to the bottle of vodka, she held clutched in her hands. Effy sat looking slightly disinterested next to her, nodding in all the right places to give Panda the impression that she was listening.

"Probably Panda." Effy replied emotionlessly, swigging from the vodka bottle before replacing it back in Panda's hands. Looking up only when she saw the flash of blonde approaching the bus stop where they were sitting.

"Alright?" Naomi smiled, plonking herself down down next Panda, taking hold of the bottle of vodka and taking an almighty gulp from it, stopping only when she became aware of Panda staring at her.

"You're blinking thirsty Nai! I can only take little sips of vodka or else it makes me chunder like a bad one, don't it Eff?" Panda grinned, looking to her best friend for affirmation. Effy looked up at the sound of her name, nodded before returning to her phone, she was fervently texting.

"Hmm this could be awkwardly interesting, ladies we are being joined by a fourth." Effy uttered, reading the last text message she had received. Noticing the raised eyebrows of the two blondes that sat next to her, Effy elaborated. "Ruby's bringing the spliff Cook owes me."

"Oh." Naomi murmured, looking down and wondering if she should leave now. The last time she'd seen Ruby, Emily had her in a headlock. She was pretty sure any friendship they'd had, had quickly dissolved after everything that had happened.

"Stay. She knows you're here, you'll look like you're running if you leave." Effy instructed, Naomi immediately stopping herself from moving, instead settling for another swig from the vodka bottle, spluttering as she watched Panda's shocked expression reappear.

"Fucks sake Panda, it's just vodka." Naomi laughed, nudging her friend in the side, passing the bottle back to her, indicating for her to take a swig.

"It's just a bit blimmin' strong is all. But I'm fucking depressive and I think my mums making monkey with that man next door with the weirdy hair." Panda sighed, taking a drink, screwing up her taste in disgust as she swallowed it down.

"She is." Effy confirmed, without even looking at Panda. Naomi bursting out laughing at her hugely dysfunctional friends, finding she enjoyed their company, and finding that she was even slightly looking forward to Ruby joining them.

**

"Is Eastenders on at 7:30 or 8:00 tonight?" Jenna asked, arranging the Doritos in tiny little serving bowls, as if she was preparing for a dinner party and not just a casual night in with her daughters.

"8:00, but when did you last watch Eastenders? Fuck I think Den and Angie were still running the bar when you last tuned in." Katie scoffed, grabbing a handful of crisps from the bag and sitting down on the sofa.

"I thought thats what girls nights consisted of, soaps and romantic comedies?" Jenna questioned, looking utterly unsure of herself. "I'm also a little confused as to what we should be wearing, is it casual? Smart casual?"

"Mum we'll be wearing pajamas, you don't dress up to watch TV with your daughters, you're really bad at this." Katie rolled her eyes, spreading out on the sofa, budging over only when Emily came in, already in pajamas, grabbing her own handful of crisps, also from the bag.

"Right." Jenna nodded, moving to the kitchen and uncorking the first bottle of wine, pouring herself a large glass of wine, downing it in its entirety. She knew she shouldn't feel nervous, but this was like a test of her mothering skills, something she'd never done before. Jenna wished she hadn't created this distance between her and her girls.

"Mum is the pizza ready? Me and Katie are wasting away here! Or at least I am anyway, fatty here is scoffing so many crisps I think she'll be good for food for at least a week." Emily called, sticking her tongue out at Katie who gave her a gentle kick in the leg in return.

"I'll just check on it." Jenna called back, wobbling slightly as she made her way over to the oven, the wine was a little stronger than the one her and Rob usually shared and it was already having it's effect.

**

"Fucking hell, you lot look like a bunch of tramps sitting in a bus-stop drinking!" Ruby exclaimed the minute she laid eyes on the three girls sat waiting for her, Effy was sat upright, legs crossed staring blankly at nothing. Panda sat to her left, leaning her head on Naomi who had an arm wrapped lazily round the slightly worse for wear looking girl, who was still clutching tightly to the vodka.

"Fuck off, we'd be drinking Special Brew if we were tramps." Naomi grinned, shooting a smile at Ruby, grateful when one was returned, no hints of awkwardness between them, despite everything that had happened in the short duration of their friendship.

"I think I've got some in here actually." Effy muttered, searching through the carrier bag of goodies she and Panda had bought earlier on, raising a can of Special Brew in triumph, chucking it at Naomi.

"Classy Eff." Naomi winked, opening the can and taking a swig, gagging at the vile taste of the liquid before passing it back to Effy.

"Got the spliffy then Rubydoodles?" Panda asked, motioning out her hand desperately, ignoring Effy and Naomi's matching eye-rolls either side of her. Smiling her goofy smile at Ruby, who simply furrowed her brow in confusion.

"You're going to sit here smoking it? In public? Where the police could catch us at any moment?" Ruby asked, mouth slightly agape at the idea, she was nervous even carrying drugs, never mind actually taking them in public.

"Flash them our tits and we'll only get a telling off, if we tell them Naomi is a lezzer then we might not even get that, they'll be creaming their pants at the thought of hot girl on girl action." Effy replied with a wry smile. "You could always tongue me hon." Effy winked at Naomi who spluttered on the Special Brew Effy had passed back to her.

"Well, glad you've got a plan." Ruby sighed, her stomach tightening with jealousy at the flirtation between Effy and Naomi, even if it was in a playful banter way, it didn't stop Ruby wanting to wipe the smug smile off Effy's face, reminding herself that if she was going to help Katie then befriending Effy would do more use than gouging her eyes out.

"Thanks for involving me Eff, nice of you that." Naomi muttered, regaining her composure, trying not to laugh when she noticed she'd sprayed most of the liquid she'd spluttered out on Panda, who was currently wiping her face with a pink My Little Pony handkerchief.

"Always babes." Effy responded with a wink, taking the handkerchief from Panda and finishing off the clean up job herself. It was moments like this when Panda and Effy's friendship and bond could truely be seen, the way they cared for each other, looked after each other. To many it would never make sense, to those close enough there couldn't be two better friends.

"You can come back to mine. If you like." Ruby shrugged, trying not to look at Naomi who she knew was staring at her. "Parents are away for the weekend, not that they'd give a shit anyway."

"Oh lets go Eff! I'm freezing my tits off here, my nipples are as hard as... As... Well hard as something really hard." Panda complained, rubbing at her breasts absentmindedly as Ruby looked on slightly horrified, Naomi and Effy however barely even acknowledged it, so used to Panda's peculiar behaviour as they were.

"Oh god" Ruby muttered, shaking her head before clearing her throat. "Come on tramps, it's only ten minutes from here!" Ruby made a move to leave, and the three girls eventually began to follow, Effy swinging her plastic carrier bag of booze as they walked.

**

"She's pretty, do you fancy her Emily?" Jenna asked, slurring her words slightly as she'd now polished off most the bottle of wine, Emily and Katie had opened the second, sipping cautiously on there own glasses as they watched their mother with amazement, and in Emily's case, embarrassment.

"Not really mum." Emily replied, feeling her cheeks flush red, she began to think she preferred it when her mother was an in denial homophobe, at least she wouldn't be scouting the television for potential crushes.

"Why not? She's got tits!" Jenna squealed, Katie giggling at the her mother, whilst Emily eyes pleaded with her sister to get her out of this situation.

"Mum she doesn't fancy ever single girl in the world, yeah?" Katie explained, picking at one of the remaining bits of cold pizza that sat on the coffee table.

"Oh. Doesn't she?" Jenna exclaimed, looking slightly confused at the concept, finishing off yet another glass of wine, she began to pour herself another.

"Fucks sake mum! Do you fancy every man in the world just because you're straight?" Emily snapped, only calming when Katie placed a hand on her shoulder, thrusting crisps at her hoping a mouth full of them would prevent Emily from kicking off.

"Well, I suppose not, I guess it all works the same, well not the same because you don't have the bits for the same but I guess it's all good." Jenna nodded, turning her attention back to the television, unaware of Emily's exasperation.

"All good hey?" Katie laughed, nudging Emily who was burning up with embarrassment, bright red cheeks that almost matched her hair.

"Yeah it fucking well is." Emily smirked, watching Katie screw up her face in disgust. There was no need to mention the severe sex drought that she was currently suffering with, better to let Katie suffer with the idea that Emily actually knew what an orgasm felt like.

"I don't want to know, seriously I don't." Katie sighed, chewing thoughtfully at the pizza, remembering for a second her and JJ earlier on, remembering how his hands felt on her body, then the memory being torn down by the blackness of everything else that was going on at the moment, the hot breath of her attacker breathing on her neck, boozy and familiar, she wished she could shake it but it wouldn't go away.

Emily noticed the change in her sister immediately, she knew it wasn't simply the inappropriate sex talk that was freaking her out, she could see that Katie looked panicked and upset.

"You okay babes?" Emily asked, pulling herself closer to Katie, Jenna still oblivious as she watched the television, scooping a handful of crisps into her mouth.

"Yeah just thinking." Katie whispered, focusing as hard as she could on the television to try and give her mind something else to concentrate on.

**

"She's not fucking cheating, she's Emily, she waited five hundred years for you to start waving the rainbow flag, she's not going to start fucking it up now." Effy insisted as Naomi explained her fears to the girls, the fact that she was certain Emily was hiding something from her, how her mind had immediately sprung to the worse possible outcome.

"She's getting plenty of lady bits loving from you Nai, why would she need to go and visit another girls funbox?" Panda smiled encouragingly, munching on a piece of toast that Effy had made her, cut into triangles exactly the way Panda liked it.

"Well, thats the thing, we're kind of not having sex at the moment. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now I'm worried she's bored. You don't know Emily, she's like a dog on heat ninety percent of the time." Naomi groaned, closing her eyes to shift the haunting images of Emily with hundreds of other girls.

"What a glorious way to describe the love of your life." Ruby scoffed, sitting in the corner away from the others, noticing the glares of the others Ruby quickly dropped her head. "...Sorry."

"This is driving me insane!" Naomi growled, downing another shot from the ring of shots that Effy had set up around the room.

"Go and fucking ask her." Ruby suggested, shrugging her shoulders as Naomi looked at her. Naomi turned to Effy to look for some kind of confirmation.

"Can't do any harm." Effy nodded, grabbing a pillow from the sofa to tuck under Pandora's head as she began to fall asleep there on the floor.

"Right! I'm going, I won't return! Unless she's fucking some butch girl called Tina with a strap-on. In which case I will be doing all these shots." Naomi exclaimed, almost tripping over from the vast amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

"Tina?" Panda questioned, stirring from her near slumber to look at Naomi.

"Go back to sleep Panda." Effy soothed, stroking Panda's hair until her eyes fluttered closed and the soft snoring began. Watching as Naomi marched out the door, determined to get answers from Emily.

The entire walk to Emily's was firstly the most difficult one Naomi thought she'd ever done, walking was far too difficult with the amount of alcohol she'd consumed inside her, and the whole way she was rehearsing various speeches to Emily, ways that she could confront her. None of them sounding right, all lacking the tact that a sober Naomi could have mustered.

Knocking on the door, Naomi was aware that her banging was a little aggressive, wary that Emily's parents might be in. Grateful when it was her redhead that opened the door to her. Naomi couldn't help but smile at Emily in her pajamas, wanting to kiss her rather than argue with her.

"Needed to see you babes, I gots to talk to you." Naomi slurred, slightly too loud as Jenna overheard her.

"Is that Naomi? Come and join us! We're watching television!" Jenna called, Katie shooting a look of utter confusion at her mother. Jenna simply smiling a joyful grin at her, waving enthusiastically as Naomi wandered into the living room.

"Ems is your mum pissed?" Naomi mumbled, pouting slightly.

"Don't pout, you look like a fish." All three Fitch girls said in unison, looking at each other surprised, but not as surprised as Naomi who backed away slightly, muttering something about it being 'fucking stereo.'

"Christ, Katie look after mum, get her some water and get her to bed. Naomi come on, I'm going to get dressed then I'm walking you home, we can talk on the way yeah?" Emily insisted, grabbing hold of Naomi's hand, pulling her first upstairs to put on clothes and then pulling her out the door.

The entire walk was silent, Emily kept looking at Naomi expectantly, waiting for her girlfriend to come out with whatever was bothering at her. Naomi seemed to be having some kind of internal debate though, barely even acknowledging that Emily was there bar a few squeezes of her hand.

It was only when they began to approach Naomi's house that Naomi's expression changed, this time she was determined, pulling Emily into her doorway, pressing her up against the wall, kissing her hard and determined, nibbling at Emily's lip before pushing her tongue inside Emily's mouth. Emily cringing slightly at the taste of alcohol in Naomi's mouth, pushing Naomi back, Emily looked into Naomi's eyes to try and figure out what was wrong.

"Jesus, fucking hell. Are you cheating on me? Fucking Tina... Fuck Emily are you cheating on me?" Naomi babbled, barely even coherent. Gripping on tightly to Emily who was desperately trying to move away as anger settled in, trying to push Naomi away, but Naomi was pressing herself up against Emily.

"How can you ask me that?" Emily whispered, tears welling up in her eyes, biting her bottom lip to control the sobs that wanted to escape, Naomi's question had cut through her like a knife, she felt betrayed by such a massive display of doubt.

"You're lying to me about something." Naomi explained, pressing her face into Emily's neck, Emily wanting to move but finding that Naomi had her cornered now.

"I'm not." Emily tried to lie, blushing red, a dead giveaway to Naomi who suddenly turned angry, the alcohol preventing her from any control over her temper.

"Stop lying to me! Stop fucking lying to me!" Naomi shouted, banging her fist against the wall beside Emily's head, Emily flinching she immediately burst into tears, she'd never seen Naomi like this before.

"Naomi what the hell is going on!" Gina interrupted, flinging the door open to see Emily pressed up against the wall looking scared whilst Naomi looked on shocked at her outpour of aggression, cradling her now bruised fist.

"You have to tell her, please Gina you have to let her know the truth" Emily pleaded, her eyes begging Gina, her hands finding Naomi, knowing that despite everything she would be there to hold Naomi when everything came crumbling down.

Naomi's world suddenly stopped, it was like everything had frozen around her, she could just about make out the words that were spilling out of Gina's mouth, could just about feel her legs give way beneath her, and could feel Emily's arms grip onto her, whispering into her ear. She was just about aware of her mother reaching out for her, just as she was aware of her hand shooting out to push her away. She had a dull memory of Emily pulling her up and practically carrying her up the stairs.

It was only when she hit the bed that the world seemed to start moving again, like being on a plane when your ears pop, the sound returning in a wave of Emily muttering promises that made no sense. Naomi turning and grabbing Emily, kissing her aggressively, pawing at her clothes.

"No Naomi, not now, not like this." Emily whispered, trying to hold Naomi back, trying to stop Naomi's desperate fingers working at the button on her jeans, looking into Naomi's desperate eyes she felt her heart lurch.

"I need... I need this." Naomi stuttered, pulling off Emily's clothes, kissing at her, marking her with angry kisses and bites that made Emily wince with pain.

Naomi barely had the energy to take control, plus she could see she was hurting Emily, instead she fell back and let Emily touch her instead. Far more gentle, soothing caresses that worked their way down her body, making Naomi shiver with just how fucking gentle and loving Emily was being despite everything. Emily's hands eventually found where Naomi needed them to be, working away with a careful determination until Naomi was crying out, first in euphoria as she erupted in pleasure, before beginning to sob, shaking with tears streaming down her face as everything settled into place. Emily immediately wrapping her arms tightly round Naomi, holding on, their bodies intertwined until Naomi's sobbing subsided, tiring herself out as she fell asleep in Emily's embrace.


	19. Got That Sinking Feeling & Nothing Else

Emily didn't sleep, she was too scared that if she closed her eyes then Naomi would wake up and she wouldn't be there for her, instead all she did was think. Think about how angry Naomi had been, how much she'd scared her, how crushed she'd looked when the truth had eventually come spilling out. It was so much, too much for both of them to deal with, all Emily could do was cling to Naomi in the hope that whatever support she was providing would be enough. The hours seemed to pass alarmingly slowly, Emily watching Naomi sleep, watching as Naomi fidgeted and moaned in her fitful sleep of nightmares.

It was early in the morning when Emily heard the door creak open, she looked up to see Gina standing in the doorway. Neither said a word, normally Emily would be embarrassed, though under the covers, it was clear that both her and Naomi were naked, but somehow Emily knew it didn't matter. Gina bit her lip, just stood staring at her sleeping daughter, Emily hugging Naomi in tighter, letting Gina know that it was alright because she would be there for Naomi.

It was when the door creaked shut that Naomi's eyes began to flutter open, Emily could feel Naomi tense, grip on tighter to Emily's arm as the memories of the night rushed back to her. Emily didn't know what to say, didn't know there was anything she could say, staying silent her eyes locked with Naomi's as they communicated in their own special way.

Naomi took a deep breath, her head still swimming slightly from the alcohol the night before, before burying her face in Emily's neck, her breath lightly tickling against Emily's skin. Naomi let her hand rest lazily over Emily's heart, feeling the rhythmic beating, the one true reminder that Emily really was there.

Emily sought out Naomi's lips, the angle all wrong, but the way they pressed up against each other feeling completely right. It was an intense kiss, desperate, though not as desperate as the night before, Naomi shuddering slightly at the memory of her post coital breakdown. As if she'd read Naomi's mind, Emily muttered 'it's ok' against Naomi's lips, before kissing her again. Holding each other close, legs intertwining, they both knew there was a lot to talk about, but not now, now they just needed to lay in the security of each others arms and pray that things would get better.

**

When Katie woke up, it took her a few seconds to work out where she was, it wasn't her own bed, and it wasn't Emily's snores that were filling the room. Laughing quietly, Katie remembered that she'd fallen asleep in her parents bed next to her mother, looking over at her still sleeping mother, mouth wide open, trail of drool rolling down her cheek, Katie began to pull herself up without giggling. The motion of someone shifting beside her, woke Jenna up with a start, wiping self consciously at the drool Jenna turned to look at Katie, who had finally succumbed to the desire to laugh.

"Never took you for a dribbler mum." Katie grinned, biting her lip as Jenna glared at her.

"I... I'm not! It's just because I had a few last night. Oh Katie why did you let me drink so much, my head is banging." Jenna sighed, trying to sit up but dropping down, burying her head in her pillow.

"There was no stopping you! Me and Ems didn't even notice how much you were necking, I'm impressed mum." Katie smiled, stretching out with a yawn before cuddling up to her mother, Jenna flinching at first, before wrapping her arm round Katie. Worrying less about all the faults she thought she had at being a mother, concentrating instead on actually being a mother.

"Where is Emily?" Jenna asked, suddenly remembering that her other daughter wasn't around.

"Don't you remember? Naomi came round, similar state to you, Emily took her home, must have stayed over." Katie explained, watching her mothers face, waiting for her expression to change, surprised when it didn't.

"Oh. I remember now. I should invite Naomi round or something... I don't know... I just, I just don't know how to act with all this, I want to try Katie but I don't know how." Jenna admitted, hoping her eldest daughter would be able to help her, she was jealous of how Katie had been able to carry on like nothing had changed, when to Jenna it felt like everything had.

"Emily's still Emily mum. She still lacks in fashion sense, she still sings in the shower and she's still a grumpy twat if you wake her up too early. Thats when I started accepting it mum, when I realised there was nothing different about her. Well, other than her being ridiculously happy." Katie shrugged, watching her mother consider her words.

"I worry what people will think." Jenna admitted, pulling the covers up around her and Katie. Sighing as she considered all the people in her life that wouldn't be alright with her having a gay daughter, it made her anxious even considering it.

"Fuck what people think. Loads of people are gay mum, its about time people stopped being twats about it." Katie snapped, surprising herself at the ferocity if her words. "Fucking hell, Ems has turned me into one of those gay rights supporters, I'll be fucking marching along with hairy armpits on show next."

"Emily does shave her armpits doesn't she?" Jenna asked, looking round with a look of horror, causing Katie to burst out laughing.

**

Emily had fallen asleep, staying up all night eventually taking its toll, finally her eyelids had become too heavy to keep open, and she'd drifted off to sleep. Naomi lay next to her, listening to Emily's breathing, silently making decisions, forming questions, feeling her heart constrict with every movement Emily made.

Pulling herself away from Emily's determined grip proved difficult but not impossible, finally managing to slip away, Naomi pulled on a long T-shirt and leggings, preparing herself to face her mother. Naomi just didn't know what to say, had this strong desire to scream and shout and get angry with Gina, even though it wasn't her fault, even though her mother needed her to be strong.

Naomi practically tiptoed into the kitchen, Gina instinctively turned around at just the feeling of her daughters presence, passing over a bottle of water, knowing that Naomi was alway dehydrated when hungover. Naomi opened the bottle, taking a cautious sip, mother and daughter locked in some kind of staring match, nether really knowing what to say. Eventually Naomi took the deep breath she needed, placed down the water, and stepped forward to envelop her mother in the a bone crushing hug.

"I'll be fine baby, fine yeah? I'm Gina fucking Campbell right?" Gina whispered into Naomi's ear, pulling her daughter in as close as she could, releasing a small laugh to try to lighten the mood, hating that she could feel Naomi's tears soaking through her top.

"Promise me. Promise me you're going to be alright because I can do this without you. I can't do anything without you." Naomi begged, and for the first time in about ten years, Gina saw a little girl looking back at her.

"I'll do my best kiddo. Now can I get you some breakfast? What about Ems, is she awake?" Gina smiled, turning away from Naomi so that her daughter couldn't see the fear that was etched on her face.

"She's sleeping, but I reckon if we wave food under her nose she'll soon come round." Naomi chuckled, wiping at her tears, reaching for a carton of eggs from the fridge, handing it over to her mother.

"Never met a girl with an appetite quite like our Emily." Gina laughed, kissing the top of Naomi's head. "She's quite the catch, never let her go, because you won't do better sweetheart."

Naomi gave a smile, not saying a word she turned away, heading upstairs to wake Emily up and let her know that food was on the way.

**

Katie and Jenna still hadn't moved on, they'd flicked on the television and were laid watching Jeremy Kyle repeats. Laughing at the people on there, enjoying the time together. Jenna couldn't help but wish Emily was there as well, that she had both of her girls with her, she would have to try and spend some time with Emily soon, they'd become so distant, she needed to reclaim her before she lost her forever.

"If I ever become like that, shoot me mum, seriously." Katie laughed, pointing to the television at a woman with hoop earrings that were quite literally bigger than her head, and a pink shell suit that was once fashionable in the 80's, but would be deemed as a violation of human rights nowadays

"Darling you'll never get like that, no daughter of mine would think pink nylon was a good idea." Jenna laughed, before pausing, eventually admitting. "I did have one though... A shell suit, it was fashionable back then of course."

"Christ... Are their pictures?" Katie asked, turning her attention from the television to her mother.

"I'm pretty sure I burnt them all. I wore it for a bit when I was pregnant with you and Emily, I got so big nothing else would fit." Jenna admitted, remembering all those times that Rob would mock her, the way he'd always know she was entering a room because she'd rustle with the fabric of the shell suit.

"I feel a little dirty knowing I was once inside one of those." Katie shuddered, laughing as she watched her mother jump up out of bed, seemingly excited about something.

"Oh come on, I know the thing is in the bloody attic somewhere, actually there was more than one... Come on Kaykay! We're going exploring." Jenna grinned, grabbing hold of her daughters hand and pulling her out of bed, Katie could hardly argue, she didn't think she'd ever seen her mother this relaxed and fun.

**

JJ sat stretched out on Cook's floor, Cook looking through a box on his bed, JJ half listening to the radio that played softly in the corner, half lost in thoughts of what had happened with Katie.

"I'd have fucking ignored you mum mate, just pretend she weren't there, if I had fucking Katie Fitch on top of me I wouldn't be chasing after my mum." Cook grunted, sifting through the pile of papers and photographs he was sorting through.

"My mum nearly fainted, it took her at least an hour to calm down, and she spent the rest of the night in bed with a migraine. I feel awfully bad, should have provided some kind of warning." JJ pondered, looking up briefly to see what Cook was doing, but Cook simply tilted the pile so that it was obscured from JJ's vision.

"Jay listen, you need to bone, you need to bone soon, you need to bone preferably when Mummy's not at home." Cook laughed, only stopping when he found what he was looking for. "Fucks sake."

"What have you got there?" JJ asked puzzled by Cook's expression, reaching out he grabbed onto the pile, surprised when Cook let him take them, looking down at the photo's in his hand.

"I wanted to fucking get rid of them, I wanted to chuck them away. But I dunno man, I just don't fucking know." Cook sighed, picking one up from JJ's hands, his favourite, dangling it between two fingers, electric blue staring back at him, a collection of photographs of Effy.

"Didn't take you for the sentimental photograph type Cook." JJ smiled, looking down at these photos, these photos that weren't dirty or smutty, but beautiful. JJ picked up one, taken on Cook's dads boat, before he and Freddie had arrived, when it had just been Cook and Effy.

"I'm a man of few words Jay-star, pictures say it all don't they?" Cook shrugged, tucking away the photos back in the box. "I wanted to get rid of them, cos things are different now I'm with Ruby, but I can't bring myself to throw them away."

"Don't then. They're your memories, keep them, you'd regret it if you threw them out." JJ smiled, rubbing Cook's knee in that affectionate, friendly way Cook loved. Cook grinned wildly, trying to shatter the weird emotion that hung around the room, he wanted to go back to dirty banter and fun, back to his comfort zone.

"Where's our Freddles anyway? Haven't seen that boy in a fucking age, he hasn't even been at college." Cook asked, chewing on his bottom lip in contemplation. It wasn't normal for Freddie to cut himself off from everyone, to ignore texts and phonecalls. Cook had even sent a message to Karen in the hopes that she could get Freddie to respond.

"I fear our altercation at the club is reason for Freddie's lack of appearances. I just didn't like the way he was talking to Katie." JJ sighed, shaking his head with worry, he'd apologised a million times to Freddie for what had happened, but still Freddie would speak not no-one.

"Ah man what the fuck are you doing here looking babe shots with me? You should be banging on young Kitkat's door, show her the Package mate!" Cook guffawed, spraying saliva as he did so, JJ wiping off the bit that hit him with a look of disgust. "Fucking hell... You'll have shagged twins! You'll be able to compare, now you've seen both sets of tits, tell me who's are better? Katie's are blatantly bigger..."

"Cook. Shut up." JJ sighed, standing up and moving towards Cook's door. "There is such a thing as tact, I'll give you a lesson sometime."

Cook watched, mouth slightly agape at JJ having snapped back at him, retorting in a way that JJ normally didn't. Cook continued to watch as JJ walked out of the room, regretting pushing him away because really he needed JJ. Rubbing his face, Cook let himself flop back onto the bed, reaching out to the box for a photo of Effy.

"Fucking get out of my head." Cook sighed, turning on his side, laying the photo next to him as if she was there, sleeping by his side.

**

Katie shifted slightly, it kind of sounded like paper rustling, that really thin coloured tissue that you'd scrunch up to make pictures with in primary school. Katie looked over to her mother, who looked equally bemused.

"You used to wear these... Like out in public?" Katie asked, stroking the shiny material of the purple shell suit she'd pulled on. Crossing her legs, Katie could hear the rustle again, in fact there was no way of moving without a rustle.

"It was the fashion!" Jenna insisted, trying to smooth down her own pink shell suit, a seemingly impossible task, the thing seemed to be permanently creased.

The two women started laughing again, only stopping at the sound of the doorbell ringing. Both looking at each other, both encouraging the other to go and answer the door, both too embarrassed to get up.

"You have to go mum, your old you can get away with it, I bloody can't." Katie hissed, practically pushing her mother in the direction of the front door. Jenna glared back at her daughter, hiding as much of herself behind the door, before craning her neck round the door to greet JJ who was looking back at her.

"JJ! Hello, why don't you come in?" Jenna asked, suddenly blushing red as she remembered her and Katie's outfits, trying to cover herself up, the boy in front of her eyeing her up rather strangely.

"You look... Nice Mrs. Fitch." JJ smiled, trying to be polite, but slightly confused as the other times he'd met Katie and Emily's mum she hadn't been dressed quite so garishly.

"Mum who's at the door?" Katie called, rustling into the hallway herself, squealing when she spotted JJ and running back into the living room. Jenna trying to suppress a laugh and JJ simply looking incredibly confused.

"I'd go and tell her she looks beautiful if I were you." Jenna suggested, smiling at JJ, rubbing his arm before letting the boy chase after Katie, leaving Jenna to rustle up the stairs in the search for decent clothes.

JJ cautiously knocked on the living room door, ignoring Katie's pleas for him to just go away, instead opening the door to Katie with a blanket practically tucked up to her chin. The two stared at each other for a minute, JJ finally breaking the silence.

"You look beautiful." JJ grinned, not simply saying it because Jenna had made the recommendation, but saying it because it was the way he felt every single time he saw Katie.

"Fuck off do I." Katie snapped at him, practically drowning herself in the blanket, covering up every inch apart from her eyes that popped out over the top of the blanket.

"Well, I don't mean your clothes, because frankly they're a little weird, but in general you're beautiful. I can still see your eyes over that blanket you know, I love your eyes." JJ smiled, blushing and feeling a little self conscious at his words.

"I'm not beautiful, I'm a mess, you've seen my bruises, I look ugly." Katie sighed, shuddering as she remembered catching sight of herself in the mirror.

JJ stood looking at Katie, appalled that someone had made her think like this, moving over to her, he didn't even give her time to object. JJ had wrapped himself around Katie, his arms pulling him in close to her.

"You could never look ugly to me, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." JJ promised, kissing Katie softly. Katie looked up at him, surprised, a tear rolling down her face.

"I don't want to keep hurting." Katie sobbed, tucking herself into JJ's body, the two of them having to try not to giggle, as the rustle of Katie's outfit killed the romantic, emotional atmosphere.

"I would love to get you out of this awful outfit." JJ whispered, kissing Katie's cheek as he did so. "If your mum wasn't upstairs I would you know, if you wouldn't mind of course, I would ask your permission."

"Katie! I'm popping out for a while, your Auntie Miriam has text me, she's lonely, giving me the old guilt trip. I'll be back in time for tea darling!" Jenna called, hurrying out the door, slamming it shut, the room suddenly falling silent.

"Where's your confidence gone now lover boy?" Katie teased with a wicked smile, licking her lips.

"I really don't want to touch it, I come out in a rash with nylon, it reacts badly with my skin..." JJ suddenly started blathering, his confidence from earlier completely disappearing.

"What about if I took it off?" Katie suggested with a casual shrug.

"That could work." JJ gulped, watching as Katie stood up, pulling off the jacket as she walked away, heading towards the stairs JJ started to follow, watching as the bottoms followed suit, being led up the stairs as the amount of clothes on Katie's body was slowly reduced to none.


	20. Yeah We're Stealing For Feeling, Feeling

Katie lay staring at nothing in particular, she was wrapped up, cocooned in JJ's arms, listening to him sleep. She was slightly concerned about her mum coming home, or Emily, or even James and her dad returning from their fishing trip, but she was just too comfortable to move. She broke into a smile at the thought of what her and JJ had just done, biting her lip to try to contain it, pulling herself even closer against JJ's body. It had been so utterly different to any other time, she wished it had been her first, she felt dirty thinking that he was just one of a number of guys that she'd been with, taking comfort in the fact that he was the first person she'd made love to, not just a quick shag. No, it had been slow, and careful, gentle and he'd been determined that it was all about her, she'd squealed not just with pleasure, but with genuine surprise that someone could make her feel like that.

She'd expected him to terrified, hesitant, but all it had taken were a few encouraging words, and her very vocal response to what he was doing, to fill JJ with confidence. Afterwards, he'd pulled her into his arms, kissed her slowly and gently whispered that he loved her. Katie thought she might explode, this was like something out of a movie, this wasn't how real boys behaved she kept on telling herself, this was going to be a dream that she woke up from feeling empty and upset.

JJ's deep snore immediately interrupted Katie's thoughts, reminding her that he wasn't completely without faults, though she'd take a few snores over the boys who fucked her and then asked her to leave any-day. It was nice just laying here, but there was something that left her feeling uneasy, that stopped her drifting off into easy sleep like JJ had. She couldn't shift the thought that she didn't deserve this, that this was all just too good for her, she'd almost become comfortable with the boys that didn't give a fuck, because she cared as little about them as they did about her.

Falling in love was terrifying. Maybe she'd loved Freddie, it had certainly felt like it at the time, but this thing with JJ was just so much more. It was big and scary, this collision of the two unlikeliest people in the planet falling in love. Katie couldn't help but wonder if she would end up hurting him, he looked so easy to break, so fragile. It was why she avoided nice boys, she wasn't the kind of girl for nice boys.

JJ shifted slightly in his sleep, he was far too big for Katie's single bed, which immediately made her smile, when he started slipping off the edge Katie couldn't help but burst out laughing, grabbing on as tightly as she could to pull him back. JJ woke up at the disruption, just about managing not to slip off.

"That was a close one, really a single bed wasn't made for two people, hence it being called a single bed, though the closer we move together the more we become like a single person, albeit a large person, though the bed states nothing about weight restrictions so I'd say we're alright on that front... Not of course that I'm suggesting that you need to move in close to me, its a personal choice thing, but perhaps you'd quite like to?" JJ stuttered, blushing and feeling a bit stupid, closing his eyes tightly, opening them to see Katie looking back at him with an amused smile.

"Where's your confidence from earlier gone? You're supposed to just scoop me up into your arms, not ask questions." Katie teased, moving in closer to JJ as she did so.

"I don't want you to ever feel like you're being rushed or pushed into everything, I know how scary things are right now, you're still not right after what happened the other night, or with what happened with Effy. The last thing you need in your life is me forcing you to be intimate in a way you don't want to be." JJ explained, knowing that Katie wasn't happy with him bringing up either of her attacks, but also knowing that there were things that just needed to be said.

"We just fucked Jay, that's pretty intimate, and you weren't complaining then." Katie snapped, her walls being forced back up, protecting herself from any emotional depth with JJ.

"If that's how you want to describe it, then it really didn't mean the same to you as it did to me." JJ mumbled, looking slightly offended, as he pulled himself up and away from Katie.

"I didn't mean it like that... I'm sorry alright? I just hate it when you bring up all that Effy shit, I can't think about her without getting angry, and I can't think about the attack because that scares me to death as well. There's just no fucking justice, its all left hanging." Katie explained, tugging on JJ's arm, grateful when he relented and moved back in close to her.

"But you need to forget it Katie, you need to forgive, and not for Effy's sake, for yours because this is destroying you." JJ soothed, pressing a kiss to Katie's forehead, his hand stroking Katie's hair.

"You make it sound so easy, Effy should pay for what she did." Katie insisted, her fist clenching, JJ's fingers prising it apart, laying his own palm over Katie's.

"Come on Katie you promised that was over and done with." JJ reminded her, too busy being lovely to notice the flash of guilt on Katie's face, oblivious to the strange agreement that Ruby and Katie had come to.

"It is..." Katie muttered quietly, hoping that JJ wouldn't notice she was lying, hated that she was lying anyway, burying her head into JJ's chest so that he couldn't read her eyes.

"Promise me." JJ demanded, lifting Katie's face so that he could look at her properly.

"I promise." Katie rushed, silencing JJ with a kiss, hoping that it would be the thing to melt away any doubts he had. JJ tried to keep the lingering gaze up between them, but Katie clenched her eyes shut, kissing JJ with an intense ferocity.

**

"This ain't really the kind of music I listen to babes, I mean if you're going to listen to something with guitars you've got to go for the classics y'know." Cook grumbled, trying to subtly turn down the volume on the iPod dock, much to Ruby's annoyance.

"Cook I'm not fucking to Ace of Spades again, it's off putting having Lemmy screech in my ear when I'm trying to get off." Ruby sighed, using the remote to turn the volume back up, shuffling over as Cook lumped down on the mattress next to her.

"Fair enough, got any fags on you babe?" Cook asked, kissing Ruby's stomach, his hands automatically gravitating towards her tits, his favourite resting place for them.

"No, you smoked them all last night remember? Cock." Ruby grumbled, squirming slightly with enjoyment as Cook ran his tongue up her body.

"Fuck it. I'll have to pop out and get some won't I? You won't get lonely without me will you?" Cook grinned, placing a quick kiss on Ruby's lips as he jumped out of bed, pulling a dirty shirt off the floor and over his head.

"Get some vodka as well, we'll have a party for two." Ruby smiled, actually growing to enjoy Cook's goofy smile, finding she liked being around him more and more.

"Will this party involve me getting my dick wet?" Cook questioned, raising his eyebrow, thrusting his crotch slightly, suggestively. Ruby biting her lip as she looked him up and down.

"It normally does, though it'll be a bloody short party if thats all it involves." Ruby sighed, inclination on the shortness, Cook always got a bit excitable, and it was over and done with before Ruby could even begin to enjoy herself.

"Fuck you. I always help you out in other ways if I miss you on the main event." Cook retaliated, looking slightly offended, as he always did when his shagging skills were called into doubt.

"Fine, just go and get those bloody fags, I swear if I didn't like you then I'd have fucked off a long time ago." Ruby complained, blushing slightly at the admission that she liked Cook, it certainly wasn't part of the plan, and she certainly hadn't forgotten about Naomi, but Cook was making his way into her affections.

Cook looked at her in shock for a minute, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what had just been said. Looking down at his shoes, Cook tried to force his head back up to meet Ruby's eyes, before his own admission.

"Yeah well I fucking like you too, a lot, I like you a lot." Cook muttered, before turning and practically fleeing his own room. Pausing slightly in the doorway, he turned back, smiled awkwardly before walking away.

Ruby released a breath she hadn't realised she was holding, shaking her head furiously at the ridiculously sweet moment between her and Cook, it all felt so wrong. Sighing, she scanned the room for something to do, remembering that this was Cook's room and he was a little sparse on actual belongings.

Shrugging to herself, Ruby decided she might as well get a head start on the sex, at least if she sorted herself out she was guaranteed at least one orgasm that night. Positioning herself on Cook's bed, she kicked off her jeans, not really caring if Cook came back, he'd probably enjoy the show. Clasping her eyes shut, she tried hard to focus on Cook's blue eyes, on his smile, on his body, but it took literally seconds before the eyes turned a lighter, almost grey shade, and the body morphed into a female one. It was her hand working away, but in her fantasy it was Naomi who was touching her exactly where she wanted her to, it was Naomi's tits that were practically thrust into her face, and it was Naomi's name that she screamed out, panting, minutes later. Clutching onto the pillow above her to steady herself during the comedown, Ruby's hand caught the edge of something shoved under the pillow, reaching for it, she brought out the photo that made her stomach churn.

It wasn't fair to be annoyed, she's just been dreaming about Naomi, but jealousy was an irrational emotion and the fact that Effy's photo was under Cook's pillow drove her insane. Throwing it down the side of Cook's bed, Ruby felt her heart start to race, finding her fallen jeans, she searched the pocket for her mobile phone, finding the number she needed.

"Katie... Yeah it's Ruby, we need to meet. Tomorrow morning yeah? Don't fucking back out on me now, just remember that bitch smacking you with a rock and fucking your boyfriend yeah?" Ruby instructed, listening to Katie's cautious noises of agreement, before putting the phone down. Just in time for Cook's triumphant return, clearly he'd rehearsed his entrance, no signs of his earlier soppiness apparent.

"Already in your underwear? Bloody hell someone's keen!" Cook chuckled, unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers and boxers drop around his ankles.

**

Naomi sat staring into space, she hadn't really been there all day, Emily had eventually, with much convincing finally headed home, leaving Naomi just to sit with her thoughts and worries racing through her head. There was a piece of paper in front of her, the beginnings of a letter, a back up plan, that Naomi had been working on since Emily had left.

_You probably don't care... Maybe you've forgotten I exist, the lack of birthday cards would certainly suggest that._

Naomi screwed up the attempt, dropping it into the bin next to her, wishing a wastebasket of screwed up paper didn't look so fucking cliche.

_Dear arsehole, I'm worried mums going to die, so I'm clutching at straws and hoping you'll finally step up after seventeen years of being a useless bastard. _

Well, it was succinct to say the least, definitely got her point across. Probably wasn't productive to what she was trying to achieve, whatever that was. This all felt like some kind of dirty betrayal, but it was supposed to be a parents job to protect their child, and if her mum was gone she needed someone.

_My name is Naomi Campbell, I'm seventeen, I'm your daughter. If you're not interested then fine, but there is only so long you can shirk parental responsibility. Shit that sounds all wrong, you'll probably read it and run a mile (well you've already run multiple miles, possibly you'll run further, I'm not totally sure how this works). Basically there's a chance my mums ill, you used to love her once, so maybe part of you gives a crap about it, my girlfriend reckons part of you always stays in love (just sort of launched that at you didn't I? It's best to paint a complete picture though I reckon, I'm gay.) _

Naomi paused, reading over what she'd wrote, cringing at how utterly crap it sounded. Scribbling it out, she started yet another letter that would probably end up in the bin. Why she was choosing this guy to rely on now she wasn't sure, like she'd said before, clutching at straws.

**

Emily hadn't walked straight home, she'd sort of detoured, walking nowhere in particular. iPod in her ears, listening to something that reminded her of Naomi, but then again there was very little that didn't. In the silence between songs, Emily thought she heard her name being called, looking up and pulling her earphones out, Emily spotted her mother waving frantically. Jogging over, Emily tried to force a smile.

"Emily darling! What are you doing round here?" Jenna asked, confused as to what Emily would be doing in this neighbourhood if she wasn't visiting Miriam.

"I'm not really sure, just sort of ended up here, guess I followed a road that looked familiar." Emily shrugged, wrapping her earphones around her iPod, before shoving it into her bag, starting to walk alongside her mother.

"Just went to visit Miriam, that woman really can talk for Britain, don't really fancy heading home just yet, Katie has her friend round. Perhaps you and me could do something?" Jenna suggested, almost nervously, bonding with Katie had been easy, but so much had happened between her and Emily that it made things far more difficult.

"Er, sure. What kind of thing?" Emily asked nervously, looking up at her mother, trying to work out what thoughts were running through her mothers head, praying they didn't involve some kind of Chippendale type show to try and straighten her out.

"Coffee? Or a meal? Something simple, I'd like to talk. You don't have to look so nervous Emily." Jenna smiled gently, linking her arm through Emily's, heading in the direction of the town.

"Sorry. We've just never done this before." Emily admitted, feeling bad when Jenna looked hurt by the remark, her hand squeezing her mothers arm affectionately which seemed to make her smile.

"Am I a bad mother Emily?" Jenna asked, in a tiny voice that seemed so unfamiliar to Emily, she wasn't even sure it was her mother talking, it was only looking up to see Jenna's expectant stare that confirmed that it had been Jenna who had asked.

"You're not a bad mother. I wish you'd been more understanding about me, but that doesn't make you a bad mother." Emily explained, gulping slightly at the reminder of the pain Jenna had caused her, the times she'd cried because of her mum.

"You're gay." Jenna said, it was a statement, not a question. Something that was such a big step for Jenna to admit.

"I am. I'm still your daughter though, I haven't changed." Emily smiled, trying her hardest at a cheeky Emily grin, her attempt at reminding her mother that nothing had changed at all, she was the same Emily Fitch.

"I know. One day maybe you'll be able to forgive me for what I've done, for how I've acted. I'd like to get to know Naomi as well, Katie has said how good you two are together, I'd like to get to know the girl that makes my daughter so happy a little better." Jenna explained, already mentally planning the dinner party in her head.

"I'd really like that. Think we'll have to leave it for a little while, Nai's going through a lot at the moment. Don't think big family dinner parties are top of her priority list." Emily sighed, hating how some things in her life were coming together so perfectly whilst others were going so horribly wrong.

"Is she okay? Is there anything we can help with?" Jenna asked, voicing genuine concern, something which shocked Emily but also made her heart swell a little.

"Gina. Naomi's mum, she might be ill, she might have... Cancer." Emily sighed, the last word barely audible, it caught in her throat and made her want to choke, it was a horrible word. "Oh god mum I don't know what I'd do if that was you." Emily suddenly yelped, throwing her arms around her mother, pulling her close.

"Oh darling, I'm so sorry." Jenna gasped, kissing the top of her daughters head, it was clear how much this woman meant to her daughter, she also couldn't imagine what Naomi was going through, the extra pressure this put on Emily as well bothering her.

"Naomi tries to be all blasé, like nothing bothers her, but she's a wreck at the moment. I'm not used to being the strong one." Emily admitted, feeling guilty for thinking about herself at a time like this, her problems were selfish ones.

"Darling, just remember you have a strong family behind you, we'll do everything we can for you, we'll help Naomi and her mum in any way we can. Anything to make this easier for you. All you need to do is be there for Naomi, thats all she'll need." Jenna assured, her hand now linked with Emily's, squeezing it tightly as she led Emily into a little coffee shop. Emily completely speechless, and feeling a thousand times better than she had done before.


	21. And The Thought Of You Was Crystal Clear

Katie shifted awkwardly, she was in far too deep, because when it had just been her and her empty threats, it hadn't really mattered, it was just a way of satisfying the endless cycle of rage that built inside her. Now things were different, now there was a plan, now there was someone to take the reigns and make things happen. Katie had tried a thousand different ways of saying, 'I don't want to do this', but they were either completely unclear or Ruby was just choosing to ignore them.

Sat in Ruby's bedroom, perched awkwardly on the edge of her bed, Katie chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to distract from the inexhaustible apprehension. Ruby finally looked up from the notebook she was scribbling in, dropping the pen which in turn caught Katie's attention.

"Fine. We won't do anything to Effy. It's your fight not mine." Ruby shrugged, closing the book and tossing it to the floor. She could see the look on Katie's face, knew that if she pushed Katie then it would fall apart.

"You just seem so determined. You don't even know Effy." Katie challenged, because really Ruby had absolutely nothing to gain from this, and trusting her just seemed a bit too dangerous, plus her promise to JJ kept buzzing round her head.

"I've seen the way she controls your friends, the power she has over Cook, how everyone bows down to Queen fucking Effy. She was even making eyes at Naomi the other day, how pathetic can she get." Ruby seethed, concentrating on Effy's stupid comment from the bus stop.

"Naomi and Effy are friends, that's just the way they are, Effy isn't even gay. Seriously if this is what is driving this desire to fuck Effy over then you're making a mistake, shouldn't you be angry at my sister? She's the one with Naomi." Katie asked confused, sure Emily and Ruby had fought but Emily had started that, Katie couldn't remember Ruby saying an unprovoked bad word against Emily.

"Emily and Naomi are together, I can't change that. I'm with Cook, I like Cook, but he's hung up on Effy and she'll never be good enough for him, she'll always be fluttering her eyelashes at anything with a pulse, and for some unknown reason the entire population of Bristol will always be fucking bowing down to miss almighty." Ruby explained with an angry sigh, she'd immediately tired of Effy's 'mysterious aura' and ability to make the world swoon with just a glare of her electric blues.

"She just took Freddie... Wasn't even interested until he was mine." Katie mused, lost in a painful memory. "She hit me with a rock and then she fucked him, and she just left me there, she left me there to die. I wasn't blameless that night, but she left me to fucking die..."

Ruby sat watching Katie, watching the emotion on Katie's face, the tears that welled up and immediately made their escape. This wasn't about Ruby and her stupid issues with Effy anymore, this was about Katie and how broken she was, how Effy was still hurting her even now.

"I'm not suggesting this for me babes, I really think you need closure on this." Ruby urged gently, her hand reaching out for Katie's arm, gently holding on, providing some kind of comfort.

"What's the plan?" Katie sniffed, looking up, her eyes met Ruby's. She still wasn't sure about this, but Ruby was right, she needed closure.

**

Naomi had played the same song on loop for about an hour now, it was so loud it filled the entire house, anything to block out the outside world. She was laid out on her rug, the same rug she'd shared with Emily, what felt like a million years ago. Her hand reaching out to the side that was frayed where Naomi's hand had spent that entire night pulling at it, anything to combat the nerves that came with being so close to Emily. Naomi smiled at the memory, her hands dragging along the loose strands, wishing she could go back to when things seemed so much more complicated, but were in reality far less.

Gina stood in the doorway, it was a position she'd found herself standing in quite regularly, every couple of hours, just watching Naomi. Her head leaning against the doorframe, her heart pounding. Part of her wanted to cross the threshold, go to her daughter and make everything better, but it was as is there was an invisible wall the held them apart.

As the song started yet again, Gina released a tiny smile, she was almost certain she knew every lyric to the song by now, she wanted to turn it over, or even better turn it off, but instead she closed her eyes and listened instead.

Naomi knew her mum was there, wanted to go and wrap her arms around her, but right now she couldn't face her because she felt so selfish. It was her pain that was taking over, when it was Gina that needed her not the other way round, Naomi was suffering and she felt guilty for it. She was also feeling guilty for the letter she'd posted that morning, the letter addressed to her father, the one that had taken her five and a half hours to write, the one that could change everything.

Gina took a deep breath, before turning round, leaving the doorway and walking down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she realised that the house was silent, that Naomi had stopped the song. Found she missed the music, found that the song had been having the same effect on her as it had on Naomi, blocking out the bad thoughts.

**

JJ knocked on the familiar door, the same door he'd probably knocked on hundreds of times over the years, he waited patiently as he always did until it clattered open. Suddenly Karen standing before him, smiling when she saw it was JJ, reaching out to ruffle his hair, which caused JJ to sigh but he dealt with it regardless.

"Hello JJ!" Karen beamed, stepping aside to let JJ walk into the house. She was always happy to see JJ, he'd always been the nice one of Freddie's friends, the one that would stop and talk to her, ask her how her day had been. She was glad to see JJ, hoped that he would be able to shed some light on Freddie's recent behaviour, surlier than usual, barely leaving his room.

"May I see Freddie please Karen? It's quite important." JJ asked, tentatively making his way up the stairs, as Karen followed behind him, whispering to JJ as they climbed.

"I don't know what's wrong with him, dad's worried he's depressed or something. Barely eating, more stoned than usual, he's a wreck JJ." Karen sighed, her hand resting on JJ's back, hoping that JJ could be the one to make Freddie smile again. As annoying as her little brother was most of the time, Karen still loved him, still needed him, family having a whole new significance since losing their mum.

"Let me try and talk to him, I think I know what's wrong." JJ sighed, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment. JJ wasn't really sure how Cook and Freddie could just get into fights with people, punch them, and then not feel bad about it. Maybe it was because they were strangers, anonymous, maybe it was only different because he'd punched out his best friend.

JJ didn't even bother knocking, just opened the door, there was nothing that Freddie could be doing that he hadn't seen before. As it turned out, Freddie wasn't doing anything, just sort of sitting and looking out his window with a sad look on his face.

"I'm not hungry Karen. I ate yesterday." Freddie grumbled, assuming it was his sister bugging him with yet another sandwich. JJ looked down at the floor where a plate sat, half eaten sandwich resting on it.

"The human body needs more than a few half hearted bites of a sandwich to sustain it, add to that the questionable quality of Karen's cooking, and I'd say you need to get out of here." JJ smiled, trying to make his voice sound as warm as possible, it didn't work apparently, as Freddie's head whipped round and he looked at JJ slightly horrified.

"What are you doing here?" Freddie asked, shaking slightly. JJ stepped back at this reaction, didn't quite know how to make things better.

"I came to apologise, I'm so sorry Freds, please forgive me, please be my friend." JJ begged in his endearing childish way that made Freddie feel nothing but utter guilt. Freddie shifted over, rummaged in his drawer, pulled out a spliff he'd made the night before and lit it up, inhaling deeply.

"Please don't apologise. Please don't." Freddie muttered, losing himself in a druggy haze, he'd been almost permanently stoned for days, this was just a boost, a top up, something to help him through this conversation.

"I'm really sorry, I just... You were just... Oh Freddie please can we be friends, I'm sorry I hit you, it was just a reaction, a stupid reaction and I'm sorry Freds I'm really sorry..." JJ continues, oblivious to how every single apology is cutting through Freddie like a knife until finally Freddie explodes.

"I said don't fucking apologise! Don't fucking apologise you bastard, I don't deserve your sympathy, I'm shit, all I am is shit." Freddie shouts, he's in JJ's face and JJ is scared, shaking because he's never seen Freddie like this before. Has never seen him anything but calm and collected.

"Please stop it Freddie, tell me what's wrong, please Freddie." JJ soothes, even though he's shaking and he's scared and he doesn't really want to be around Freddie right now. He wraps hims arms around his friend, tries to make everything better.

"It was me." Freddie mutters in the smallest voice JJ thinks he's ever heard, he's holding Freddie even closer now, Freddie starts to cry and JJ wants to protect him.

"What was Freds? What's happened?" JJ asks, he's confused by this situation, wishes Cook was here because he'd be able to sort this out, he'd know what to say to Freddie.

"I hurt Katie." Freddie chokes out, and JJ doesn't really understand his meaning, wonders why Freddie's feeling guilty about cheating on Katie after all this time, because in the grand scheme of things it's really not that bad.

"She's over it, you left her for Effy and sure she was hurt, but she's okay now. Katie's fine." JJ explains, he wants to explain that Katie's happiness is in part because of him, but he holds back, because he doesn't quite feel that bragging is appropriate right about now.

"No Jay you don't understand... It was me, it was me that attacked Katie." Freddie sobs, crying more now, crying so much his body is shaking hard, only JJ isn't holding him anymore, JJ's let go and is just looking at him.

"No." JJ utters in disbelief, because there must be a joke in here somewhere, maybe he's just not getting it, he doesn't always get jokes, doesn't always understand them. This must be a joke.

"I was drunk, I was drunk and she turned me down and then I saw her outside the club and I don't know what I was thinking, I just wanted her. I wouldn't have hurt her Jay, I wouldn't have done, I was just getting carried away, I just wanted her back." Freddie babbled desperately, he could see JJ moving away from him, could see the fear and disgust on JJ's face.

"No, this can't be right. You can't be telling the truth. Cook beat up the attacker, Cook hurt him." JJ explains and finally breathes a sigh of relief because other than the punch that he'd landed on Freddie, Freddie has no other visible marks, all the same JJ finds himself backing up against Freddie's door.

It's when Freddie gets up and starts to walk towards him, half walk, half hobble, that JJ can see how much pain Freddie is in. JJ stepped forward, reached for the hem of Freddie's shirt and pulled it up and over Freddie's head. Freddie just letting him, just standing there topless with the purple bruises covering his body, His ribs sticking out at a funny angle as well, JJ pretty sure it was broken, and thinking that was probably why Freddie needs so much spliff, pain relief.

"This is wrong, this is wrong, you didn't, you can't have, you wouldn't, not you, not Freddie, you're Freddie, you're my Freddie, you're my best friend, she's my girlfriend, you wouldn't, you wouldn't." JJ splutters, locked on, completely locked on. Holding his head, gripping on tightly as he muttered 'you wouldn't' over and over.

"JJ I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I'll make it up to both of you. I was drunk Jay, it was stupid, it was nothing yeah?" Freddie pleaded, trying to help JJ, trying to pull him out from getting locked on like he'd done time and time before, but his touch isn't helping, it's just making things worse.

"How could you!" JJ screamed, like an animal breaking free from it's cage, suddenly they're both on the floor and JJ is throwing punches, Freddie laying there and taking it because he deserves it, because it's what he's been waiting for.

"JJ what the fuck!" Karen screeched, running into the room and trying to pull the boy off of her brother. Succeeding in calming JJ down slightly, she stood still holding him back.

"You're sick, you disgust me. Stay away from her, stay away from me." JJ warned, and he still feels locked on, still wants to rip Freddie limb from limb, but he settles for running down the house and outside instead. Crashing against the wall that formed the alleyway beside Freddie's house, JJ sat curled in a ball, wrapping his arms around his head, anything to stop the bad thoughts that plagued him.

**

Emily didn't even ask for permission, knew that Naomi would probably come up with some excuse not to see her, knew that her girlfriend was pushing her away because that's just what Naomi did. Instead Emily walked into Naomi's room, lying down on the rug beside her, and just pulled Naomi into her.

"I love you." Emily whispered, stroking Naomi's hair, smiling as Naomi curled into her, glad that at least Naomi was finding some kind of comfort in her being there.

"I know." Naomi muttered, kissing Emily's neck gently.

"So my mum wants to invite you round for dinner. Tonight." Emily laughed, trying to make the atmosphere just a little lighter, knowing that Naomi needs to smile because it breaks her to see her so lost.

"Oh Christ Emily, isn't my life bad enough already." Naomi retorts, smiling for the first time in what feels like forever. Her hand finding Emily's gripping onto it, even though her head is still swimming, Emily anchors her.

"It's her olive branch, we should probably take it before she takes it back and goes back to being a cow. She's in a strangely nice mood at the moment, mothers, who'd have them?" Emily laughs, stopping as she realises how stupid her words are, regrets them as they slip out her mouth and kill the atmosphere almost immediately. "Oh fuck I didn't mean..."

"It's alright Emily." Naomi replies, it sounds a little harsher than she intends it to, knows that Emily feels horrible, knows that its just a joke, but can't help taking it personally at the moment.

"No, it's not. I'm a dick, a huge one." Emily sighed, holding onto Naomi's hand a little tighter than before, wishing she had the ability to think before she spoke. Feeling bad for reminding Naomi that things weren't all lovely and perfect.

"If you were a dick I wouldn't love you." Naomi smiled, because she didn't want to hurt Emily, not today. It was easier just to bypass the point, move on and enjoy her girlfriend holding her and making things just seem a little bit better.

"Too right you massive lesbian." Emily teased, regaining some of her confidence, heart warming when she saw Naomi grin. Leaning in, Emily kissed Naomi, firmly, passionately, the kind of kiss that told her that she was there, she'd always be there, and she loved her. Forever.

**

Rob looked at his wife, watching as she fussed over a meal, trying to work out whether this was a good idea or not. It had the potential to go hideously wrong, because as much as he loved his wife, he also knew her faults, and how difficult coming to terms with Emily's sexuality had been. A whole meal with Naomi was surely asking for trouble, or at least awkwardness.

"Bloody hell Rob! Is she a vegetarian? I didn't ask Emily! I've just been cooking this fish and I didn't even think about it! Oh Rob call Emily and ask her." Jenna panicked, staring horrified at the fish in front of her. "The girl lives in a hippy commune I wouldn't be surprised if she was!"

"Jen give the hippy stuff a rest, and keep calm yeah, I'll give Ems a ring and ask her. But for now just get on with the fish, that's my best catch right there." Rob smiled, a calming hand on his wife's shoulder, which immediately stopped her getting flustered.

"Have you seen my book? I need my book!" Jenna suddenly announced, leaving the meal and hunting around through a few piles in the kitchen.

"Book? Cook book? Other book?" Rob asked, sighing as he stepped in to calm Jenna down once again, pulling her away from the mess she'd created, wondering if there was some kind of sedative he could give her just to make her chill.

"My gay book!" Jenna groaned as if the answer was already obvious, looking at Rob expectantly, as her eyes scanned around to try and find the book. She was only up to chapter three, she definitely wasn't prepared for this dinner.

"Gay book?" Rob asked confused, not overly sure what a gay book was or what his wife was doing with one, but was relieved when Jenna found what she was looking for, at least she'd be able to calm down now.

"It's a helpful guide for straight parents dealing with gay children." Jenna explained, waving the book in Rob's face. It was written by some psychologist bloke who probably didn't have a clue about anything.

"Sounds like a thrilling read babe, Emily doesn't need to be 'dealt' with though." Rob sighed, grabbing hold of the book and flicking through it, throwing a curious glance at some of the chapters.

"Oh Rob I didn't mean it like that, I want to be prepared, I want to be supportive." Jenna insisted, still feeling so completely out of her depth. Even more so when she heard the door click open, and heard the two voices chatting away.

Jenna looked out into the corridor, Emily looking shyly and smiling, her hand linked with Naomi's who hung back slightly, offering only a nervous 'hello' before pressing herself into Emily's back in an attempt to hide herself away. Jenna gulped before smiling back, offering her own 'hello' before moving back to the kitchen. This was going to be a long night...


	22. Long Enough For Something To Go Wrong

**Sorry its been a while, back at uni, new timetable sucks ass. Plus i've been a little er... drunk... You so don't want me writing a chapter inebriated lol!**

Emily's mind had played out hundreds of scenarios in the past, all visions of the great Fitch family dinner where she properly introduced her girlfriend to her family. Some of the visions had played out well, the meal had gone nicely, they'd eaten great food, made conversation and her parents had given them their complete blessing. Other visions weren't quite so nice, Jenna having a breakdown at the table, slaying Naomi with a JML Power Blitzer, her dad chasing Naomi out the house, with that manic look in his eyes that he normally only reserved for when he watched the football and he found his team losing yet again.

Of all the scenarios that Emily played out, the one she hadn't bargained on was Naomi being the problem. She'd seen her mum screwing things up, her dad acting the idiot, James saying something completely inappropriate or even Katie acting a bitch. But truely the one problem she didn't think she'd have would be Naomi, yet here they were the most awkwardly uncomfortable meal known to man, her poor mum making more effort than Emily had ever thought possible and Naomi was just... Cold.

"Do you like college Naomi?" Jenna had asked with a warm smile as she'd dished up the potatoes.

"Yeah." Naomi had replied with a small nod.

Emily had given Naomi a look, but Naomi had completely ignored her, chewing absently on the plate of food in front of her.

"You a fan of fish Naomi? Freshly caught by me and James yesterday, we had a fishing trip, quite the adventure, that boy of mine is turning into quite the fisherman!" Rob had laughed, chewing enthusiastically on his plate of food.

"It's nice." Naomi had replied simply, barely even meeting Rob's eyes. Emily hadn't been able to ignore the despairing look her parents had shot each other, she'd actually squirmed with embarrassment that Naomi was acting like this.

"Got any plans for after college Naomi?" Jenna asked, forcing her best happy voice, her mouth twitching with the struggle to keep a smile permanently fixed upon it.

"Not sure." Naomi said very quietly, she didn't want to think about the future, couldn't think about a future that her mum could possibly not be part of.

"Why doesn't your girlfriend talk Emily? Is it the muff munching? Is her mouth too tired to form words?" James had asked completely seriously, Rob despairing and only having to point to the naughty bar, James sighing and heading off to do the standard 20 rep punishment without even the slightest hint of argument.

"Christ." Emily muttered, running her hand through her hair, and actually wishing that Katie was there to make things a little easier. Eventually having enough, Emily excused herself from the table, pulling her girlfriend along with her.

"I was eating, you didn't let me finish eating." Naomi complained, sighing at Emily's furious expression, she reached out her hand to touch Emily's arm, some kind of gesture, some kind of apology, Naomi knew she was being a twat.

"What the fuck is up with you? They're trying, they're actually fucking trying. The homophobic Fitch's have invited their daughters girlfriend round for dinner and are actually attempting conversation, they're trying to be nice!" Emily snapped, completely exasperated by the situation, pulling herself away from Naomi's touch, this wasn't something a hand on her arm could solve.

"Maybe I don't want to sit playing fucking happy families Emily! Maybe I've got things far more important going on in my life than impressing your bloody mother." Naomi hissed, trying to keep her voice low, knowing that Jenna Fitch probably had her ear pressed up against the door trying to listen.

"You don't think I know that you're hurting right now? I get it yeah? But you agreed to come, this was something we could have done, this was something we could have got over and done with and it would have been one less thing for us to worry about. Didn't you consider that with my parents onside that would mean I could spend more time with you, more time looking after you." Emily sighed, resolve weakening, now it was her reaching out for Naomi.

"I don't need looking after Emily." Naomi replied simply, grabbing her bag from next to the hallway table, heading towards the front door.

"Where are you going? Naomi fucking come back here and finish your meal." Emily demanded, aware that she sounded like a petulant child, but not caring enough to change the tone of her voice.

"Fuck off Emily." Naomi sighed, heading out the front door. Trying her hardest not to look back because she knew right now Emily would be broken, and she just couldn't deal with that, not when she knew it was her fault.

"Lovely girl..." Jenna mumbled sarcastically, regretting it immediately when she saw the look of hurt on Emily's face, searching for something to say but finding nothing at all, all she could do was watch as Emily ran upstairs. Reaching for her book, Jenna tried to search for an answer, but this was a situation even the book couldn't solve.

**

Naomi felt guilty, because despite numerous promises that she would never hurt Emily, not after everything they'd gone through before, she'd done it again. Emily was probably crying right now, and it wasn't even as if Naomi could say that Emily deserved it because she didn't. In fact Emily was completely right, she had agreed to go to the meal, this was an opportunity to get the Fitch's onside, and she did want Emily to look after her. She was just too much of a stubborn twat to accept that she needed anyone, even Emily.

Dragging her feet, Naomi couldn't decide exactly what to do now. It's not as if she could turn back and go and apologise to Emily. Jenna and Rob had probably already bolted Emily's door shut and told her that there was no chance of her being able to emerge until at least 2020. She couldn't go home either, couldn't sit there with her mother pretending everything was fine when there was a good chance that it wasn't. It's not as if she had friends to go and hang with either, well there was Effy, but fuck sometimes that girl was just too depressing to hang around with.

"Penny for them?" A voice called out, causing Naomi to spin round, smiling at the sight of Ruby wearing yet another weird mix of clothes, she looked like she had too many layers on, like she'd run out of space in her suitcase and so was having to wear all her clothes even though they didn't quite go together. Only thing was Ruby pulled it off, she always pulled it off.

"You don't want them, trust me. They're angsty as fuck, and pathetic, can't forget the pathetic aspect of them." Naomi moaned, her steps falling into sync with Ruby's, not really sure where they were going but quite happy just to follow.

"Trouble in paradise? You acting the twat or is it her again?" Ruby asked, searching in her bag for a packet of gum, pulling it out and offering Naomi a piece before unwrapping several pieces for herself.

"Me. I can't ever seem to admit that I need her, I just push her away and its stupid because she's the one thing in this world that makes me feel safe." Naomi admitted, blushing slightly at the sentimentality of it all.

"Maybe you don't need her. I don't believe in this whole relying on other people shit, we're alone in this world Nai. You can fuck people, maybe even love them, but never rely on them." Ruby smiled, her hand brushing Naomi's arm, cursing herself for making contact because now there was a path set out, a destiny, something that was going to happen and she couldn't stop it even if she tried.

Naomi smiled when they reached the park, the first place they'd properly met, discounting the drunken encounter that came before it, they sat in the same place, in silence, Naomi sat thinking about Emily. Ruby sat thinking about Naomi.

"I think I'm gay. I mean, I was playing the whole bisexuality thing, but really I have zero interest in ever getting with another guy." Naomi admitted, a little out of the blue, it was all the thinking about Emily, thinking about the effect she had on her. Pulling out a cigarette, Naomi inhaled as she considered her own words.

"I didn't take you as someone to get hung up on labels. Why can't you just be whoever, why do you need to call it something?" Ruby asked with a casual shrug, Naomi looked over, her lips pursed as if she was about to argue when instead she stopped herself and thought about what Ruby had said.

"I don't I guess. I just think maybe I am... Gay. Like Emily was watching some crap on tv the other day and I was actually checking out the girls in it, properly ogling them like some kind of fucking loser." Naomi scoffed, rolling her eyes because really, she was starting to turn into Emily drooling at the sight of a pair of tits.

"Anyone can ogle Naomi, even straight girls ogle." Ruby dismissed, with an eyeroll of her own that made Naomi laugh, did she look like such an arrogant twat when she did that?

"Isn't it easier to put distinctions on things, you make life too confusing." Naomi challenged, things being black and white was just easier, everything made sense when you knew where you stood.

"No you do." Ruby argued, taking the cigarette from Naomi, sucking on it contemplatively, eyes staring into Naomi's.

"You're fucking a guy, thats confusing." Naomi laughed, enjoying the playful banter, oblivious to there being anything at all behind the looks Ruby was giving her. As intelligent as Naomi was, sometimes she could be really fucking blind.

"He does the job." Ruby winked, stubbing out the cigarette on the grass in front of her, hand brushing Naomi's knee as she did so. Naomi twitching slightly, Ruby having to hold in a breath so that she didn't reveal how much it shook her up.

"There are plenty of girls that would do the job, and probably a lot better too." Naomi teased, playful flirtation, it didn't mean anything, all she had on her mind was Emily. But for Ruby the tone, the words, it was all too much.

"I don't just want any girl, if it was that easy I would. I'm distracted." Ruby admitted, bowing her head, because she knew she was blushing fiercely.

"Anyone in particular?" Naomi asked, far too blind now, it was ridiculous, even Ruby was getting tired of it. Was she really unaware, or just completely in denial?

"You know who." Ruby sighed, gripping her hands to stop them shaking, making Naomi look at her, really look at her.

"Ruby..." Naomi trailed, trying to find the words to let her down gently, but before she could continue, a set of lips belonging to the girl sitting next to her were pushed against her own. It was intense, almost as if Ruby knew that if she didn't dominate this then Naomi would push her away.

It was barely anytime at all before Naomi did push her back, aggressively, wiping her mouth and with it any trace of what had just happened. Ruby didn't think Naomi could look more appalled if she tried.

"Fuck! Fucking hell just don't. Look I like being your friend, you're cool Rubes but seriously I have a fucking girlfriend and you have Cook and this is wrong." Naomi snapped, shifting over to create a massive gap between them.

"She's fucking with your mind Nai, she wants too much from you!" Ruby shouted in frustration, banging a fist against the grass. Hating herself for getting this upset, cursing the tear that rolled down her face.

"This is never going to happen. I love Emily, seriously love her." Naomi explained, her voice calmer now, seeing how upset Ruby was getting. She wanted to reach out and comfort her but she was too afraid of Ruby getting the wrong idea again.

"She'll only end up hurting you." Ruby whispered, placing a quick kiss to Naomi's cheek before walking off as fast as she could, desperate to escape from the horrible situation she found herself in.

It was Naomi who spotted the person watching them, Cook squatting on top of a football, cigarette in hand, he waved it as some form of acknowledgement, sad look in his eyes. Naomi took a deep breath before waving back.

"Fucks sake." She muttered under her breath, standing up to make the walk over to him.

**

"You should have been here Katie, maybe another friendly face around the table would have made things a little easier for her? I just can't understand that girl at all, or why our Emily likes her so much, she was so rude!" Jenna exclaimed, clearly still offended by her encounter with Naomi from earlier.

"Yeah well she's going through some shit mum. It doesn't matter what a twat we think she is, its what Emily thinks of her that matters." Katie sighed, playing with her phone, sending yet another text to JJ as he still hadn't responded to any of her earlier attempts.

"To be perfectly honest with you Katie darling, I think your sister might be starting to realise that girl isn't quite good enough for her. She didn't look happy with her at all, and the way she left... Well I wouldn't be surprised if that was it for them." Jenna whispered, voice low to insure that Emily didn't hear her.

"She's still gay mum." Katie pointed out, just incase her mother had any ideas that a break up for Emily and Naomi would mean that Emily would suddenly become straight.

"Oh I know that Katie! But the book says that..." Jenna started, before being cut off by Katie grabbing Jenna's handy guide to gay from out of her hands.

"What is this shit? Christ mum, why do we let you loose with a credit card? Internet shopping will be your downfall. You do realise the... £10.99!! You spent on the book could have gone on something like a top, preferably for me." Katie complained, dropping the book onto the table.

"That girl was rude and aggressive to my Emily." Jenna huffed, because for once it really wasn't about Emily being gay, it was about someone treating her daughter badly, and it just wasn't good enough.

"She's rude and aggressive to everyone." Katie offered, as if it provided some kind of explanation, it didn't, not really, but it was weird how blase Katie was about this when to Jenna it seemed like a big issue.

"Well thats not good enough, there are nice girls out there, if Emily's going to be gay then she should at least choose someone without the attitude and problems." Jenna sighed, her words shocking Katie slightly, the complete acceptance of who Emily was. Maybe that book wasn't quite so bad after all.

"All I know is that if that was you with cancer, well I wouldn't be thinking straight, or acting myself. Emily really loves her mum, and she's not that bad, not really." Katie shrugged, walking out of the kitchen leaving her mother to consider her words.

**

"I take it you..." Naomi trailed, not really needing to complete the sentence because Cook had already given her a sad nod, confirming that he'd seen everything.

"Saw everything? Yeah I did Blondie." Cook grunted, flicking the cigarette away, barely smoked it wasn't doing anything to relieve the aching feeling in his stomach.

"Cook I didn't..." Naomi started, needing to explain, needing him to understand that she wouldn't do anything to damage their friendship. As much of a wanker Cook was, he was her friend.

"I know babes, I saw it yeah. She was just doing what she's been wanting to do all along." Cook sighed, rubbing his temple, patting down his pockets in search of something. Getting frustrated when whatever he was looking for, wasn't where he wanted it to be.

"Shit Cook, she was just caught up in the moment or something. It was a mistake, nothing at all, you know she likes you. Just forget about it." Naomi insisted, pacing slightly, watching Cook stand up and begin to kick the football between his feet, gently back and forth.

"Like I just 'forgot' about Effy liking Freddie? Look where that fucking got me. I'm sick and tired of being second best Naomikins, I know I'm a tosser but I deserve better than this." Cook snapped, booting the football as hard as he could, watching it fly across the park, it not making him feel better at all.

"I know you do Cook, why don't you just phone her? Talk to her, let her explain." Naomi tried, hand pressed against Cook's shoulder, some sort of gesture of solidarity. Naomi couldn't help but feel guilty about this, even though she'd done nothing wrong.

"Lost my fucking phone ain't I? Just another thing thats gone wrong in my shitty life." Cook laughed, before forming fists that he used to punch against his thighs in frustration.

"Cook please, you're a good guy. I'm sorry yeah, I'm so sorry." Naomi soothed, grabbing hold of Cook's hands, stopping him from taking this out on himself. Pressing a kiss against his cheek, awkwardly holding him, feeling his tears soak through her top.

**

Katie bit her lip, checked her phone and found she still hadn't had a reply from JJ, the lack of contact relieving any guilt she had about going behind his back with this plan she had with Ruby. In fact it was quite easy to forget she had a boyfriend, he'd clearly forgotten about her, she thought bitterly.

Katie practically sprinted to the front door when she heard a knock, part of her was hoping it was Naomi come to apologise for being a complete and utter twat, Katie hadn't been upstairs to see Emily, had decided to give her space to calm down. Katie was quite prepared to tear into Naomi, just a little bit.

"Present." Ruby smiled, holding out a mobile phone to Katie. She'd tried to hide any signs of upset over her confrontation with Naomi. Now she just wanted to distract herself, and this was the perfect way to do it.

"No offense babes but that's a well shit mobile, I've got one, its pink and fucking fabulous." Katie laughed, holding the severely out of date mobile, sighing at its cracked screen and various dents.

"It's Cook's." Ruby sighed, as if that made it all obvious. Clearly she was unaware that Katie was a little slow in areas of devious plotting, what relevance Cook's grotty mobile had to anything was completely beyond Katie.

"Right, lovely, you're going to have to talk in full sentences cos I really don't see what you're getting at here." Katie grumbled, crunching her way through a packet of polos, brow creased.

"Fucking hell Katie, catch up. Cook's mobile, this is the plan, we're going to text Effy, get her to meet us, pretending to be him. It happens tonight." Ruby smiled, gripping Katie's hand and pulling her away, the two girls heading off, darkness seemed to surround them, Katie could feel it.

**

Naomi had walked home with Cook, arms linked he leaned heavily on her, it was strange for him getting support from the person that he should hate, but he knew this wasn't Naomi's fault.

"Fuck you're a heavy bastard, think maybe you could try standing up straight?" Naomi grinned, pushing Cook away slightly, rubbing her arm. Her hand lightly tapping his cheek, to wipe the shitty grin off his face.

"You're a top bird you know, you got attitude, and you're fit and you're a fucking good person. Seriously if you weren't a lezzer..." Cook winked suggestively, licking his lips in that horribly pervy way he loved.

"Hmm shame you haven't got a muff Cook, I might have given you a go if you did." Naomi teased, ruffling his hair, watching him squirm and try to swat her hands away.

"Yeah right babes, like I'd have gotten a fucking look in with little red, some things are just meant to be Naomikins, and you two are meant to be." Cook smiled, wrapping an arm around Naomi's shoulders, hugging her in tight to him.

"I think I've well and truely fucked things up there. I've enraged Fitchbitch senior, worse than before, a lot worse." Naomi explained, rubbing her temples, kicking at some stones with her shoes as she let frustration build up inside of her.

"Little red loves you, say sorry, munch her rug, I dunno whatever! Just make her smile, she'll forgive you anything." Cook explained, sending Naomi on her way, smiling at her with a determined insistence that he was fine.

Watching Naomi leave, Cook felt slightly better that at least someone was getting a shag tonight. Trudging up the stairs, he didn't look forward to going to his room, it was so empty, so devoid of any actual feeling, it made him feel like shit. Walking down his corridor, he stopped when he saw the figure slumped against his door, speeding up he sprinted to where JJ sat, knees pulled tightly to his chest.

"It's all wrong, all wrong, its all gone wrong, gone wrong." JJ kept repeating, hands clenching and unclenching. Cook dropped to his knees, pulling his shaking friend into a crushing hug. This was locked on to the extreme, it had been a really long time since Cook had seen his friend this bad.

**

"Oh it's you." Jenna sighed, leaning against the doorframe, she stood looking at Naomi with a raised eyebrow. Crossing her arms, Naomi didn't think the woman could look anymore intimidating if she tried.

"I'm sorry Mrs Fitch. I wasn't myself tonight, and you were really very good to me and to Emily and you cooked such a lovely meal. I'm sorry." Naomi blushed, having to bite her lip to stop herself from blurting out something that didn't sound quite so polite and contrived.

"Did Emily really deserve that? The way you talked to her? She's my daughter Naomi and this is my house and I won't have that. I know things aren't easy for you at the moment, but I also know Emily's worrying herself sick trying to help you." Jenna explained thoughtfully, she couldn't even get angry at the girl in front of her, Katie's words having resonated with her.

"Emily is the most special person I know, I love her. She doesn't deserve it, I don't deserve her and I'll do my best not to let her down again Mrs Fitch." Naomi nodded, picking at her chipped nail varnish as she waited for Jenna to consider her words.

"Call me Jenna. We'll do dinner again Naomi, next week, we have a lot of conversation to make up for. Now I think you should go up and apologise to Emily." Jenna smirked, trying to fight the smile that was building on her face, she rather enjoyed watching Naomi squirm.

"Okay then Mrs... I mean Jenna." Naomi smiled politely, starting to head up the stairs before she turned round to face Jenna once again. "Oh and by the way, I bloody hate fish."

Jenna stood mouth agape, trying to come up with some kind of comeback but completely failing. Glaring at Naomi's back as she climbed the stairs.

**

Emily sniffled, the full on sobs had subsided, she was too tired to continue, but she couldn't stop herself from shaking a little bit, tears still welling up in her eyes. Everything had been such a disaster, the meal had been such a disaster and now her parents hated Naomi and Naomi hated her and it was all just so fucked up. Emily curled up tightly, hugging on to a soft toy unicorn she hadn't felt the need to embrace since she was a little girl, but now it was a nice comfort. Hearing the bedroom door creak open, Emily didn't even look up.

"Fuck of Katie I don't want to talk." Emily whispered, burying herself into the pillow, trying her hardest just to disappear.

There was no response, just a soft padding across the bedroom door and all of a sudden there were arms slipping round her waste. Long arms, definitely not Katie's, someone kissing her neck, definitely not Katie.

"I'm sorry Ems." Naomi muttered into Emily's ear, kissing up her neck until Emily shifted over allowing Naomi access to her lips. Both girls muttering apologies into each others mouths, it not even mattering as they started to consume each other with a raw, desperate passion.

Naomi's hands started to claw at Emily's top, trying to pull it up, wanting to feel Emily's skin pressed against her.

"We can't... My parents..." Emily groaned, trying to push Naomi away, failing as Naomi's fingers traced their way along Emily's ribs. Emily's body responding, even if her mind was screaming at her what a ridiculous idea this was.

"We'll be really quiet." Naomi promised, pulling Emily's shirt off, head dipping in to kiss Emily's stomach, mouth moving upwards, moving towards Emily's breasts. Emily desperately stifled a moan, but Naomi was thoroughly determined to make up for what had happened earlier on in the night.

"I don't know if I can." Emily whimpered, as Naomi forced down her skirt, fingers hooking over the waistband of Emily's tights.

"Well, I wasn't planning on making it easy for you." Naomi winked, an evil glint in her eye as she pulled down Emily's tights and underwear together, Emily squirming as the cold air hit her.

"Fucking hell." Emily sighed, grabbing the pillow from underneath her head and biting down hard on it, anything to silence the inevitable onslaught of moans and screams.

**

Rob sat in his armchair, reading the sports pages of his newspaper, complaining about some signing that his team had made, how this bloke was a "useless wanker" with a unjustifiably large wage packet. Jenna was spread out of the sofa next to him, nose buried in a copy of Chat magazine, occasionally cooing at a shocking story. James was crossed legged on the floor, bashing away at his Playstation controller, trying to get past some level that was proving slightly difficult.

It was very faint, but Jenna's ear twitched all the same. Then it was there again, the soft moan coming from upstairs that caused Jenna's eyes to widen and her jaw to drop. No way was this what she thought it was, it couldn't be, it wouldn't be, not her Emily...

"You alright there Jen?" Rob asked peering over the top of his newspaper, completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Fine." Jenna replied swiftly, before another undeniable moan accompanied by a creak of the bed sent shivers down her spine. "Jesus..." Jenna muttered, scuttling away to the kitchen, she would need to consult the book on this particular matter...


	23. I have Muted The Screams I Have Broken

**Sorry about the delay, i've been... Well drunk basically. Anyway here it is, specially dedicated to Miss Peg because a) she's awesome and b) it's her birthday!! **

_Gobblers babe, lets do it rite this time, 2nite just u and me x_

All Katie and Ruby could do was wait, the text had been sent from Cook's phone, now they needed to know whether Effy would take the bait. Katie drummed her fingers nervously on Ruby's dashboard, they'd already arrived at Gobbler's end and Katie squirmed uncomfortably at the memories the place invoked. Ruby looked just as anxious, smoking a cigarette out the window, her eyes trained on Cook's mobile waiting for it to vibrate in response.

When it did eventually vibrate, both girls sat looking at the phone, looking at each other, but neither was actually picking it up and opening the message. Eventually Katie moved her hand over to the phone, reading the message that sat waiting.

_Cook what kind of sick game is this? Its fucked up_

Katie sighed and passed the phone over to Ruby who looked at it, brow furrowed, she thought for a minute before typing out another text, pausing briefly to question Katie on some of the finer details.

"Something that Cook would call her, something endearing, a nickname or something?" Ruby asked, watching as Katie searched her mind for something, anything that Ruby could use. It was difficult, Cook and Effy were never really a couple, they weren't the type of people for sweet endearments either.

"Peachy... He called her Peachy once." Katie remembered, it had been after the party at Johnny White's, when Cook had made his valiant effort to try and get a shag out of at least one of the girls.

_Good memories erase bad Peachy, I wanna show you a few shrooms ain't all bad. I'll look after you, promise x_

Ruby placed the phone down, Katie returning to her ritual finger drumming, whilst Ruby lit up another cigarette, knowing she was chaining it but not really having enough energy to care. This wasn't going to be as easy as she first thought.

_Dunno about the shrooms Cook. Maybe Gobblers could be fun though, won't your girlfriend mind?_

Ruby bit down on her lip, seething slightly even though she knew she had no right to be jealous. Clenching the phone in her hand, Katie looked at her with a raised eyebrow, sighing before snatching the phone from Ruby to write the text herself.

_Only one girl for me Ef. 2nite at 8, just bring yourself, I'll set up camp. x_

The two girls sat back in their seats, both took equally deep breaths. The trap was set, revenge was in motion and neither could fight the growing sense of dread that came attached with it. As Katie's hand flew up instinctively to trace the scar that had been formed the last time she was here in the woods, her brain tried to convince her that this was right, justified, that Effy would finally learn.

**

Jenna was completely unsure of what to say, but she had to say something, had to tell Emily that whatever was going on upstairs was completely inappropriate. It was difficult to know how to phrase such a thing, it wasn't something she ever thought she'd have to confront. Even Katie had never done such a thing, and Jenna was more than aware that her eldest daughter wasn't the virginal princess Rob would like to believe she was.

Sitting in the kitchen, Jenna absentmindedly gnawed at her thumbnail, ignoring the fact that she was destroying a perfectly good manicure. Jenna listened to the sound of the girls coming down the stairs, the undeniable sound of kissing before Naomi finally departed. Jenna prepared herself as she heard Emily's soft padding footsteps approach the kitchen.

"Alright mum?" Emily asked, strolling over to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water taking a long swig before beginning to rummage through the kitchen cupboards. Sex always gave Emily an appetite, which was fine when she was at Naomi's house because there were always snacks, but here the only thing on offer was a health bar that has the appearance of a piece of cardboard.

"Emily darling can you sit down for a moment?" Jenna murmured, barely audible, she was having to fight her growing embarrassment. She'd turned her attention from her thumbnail, to shredding the Kleeneze catalogue on the kitchen table.

"You know they come and collect those things, those people get fierce if you don't leave them on the doorstep." Emily pointed out, removing the shredded catalogue from her mothers hands in the vain hope of salvaging it.

"Right. Emily. Sex." Jenna stuttered out in one flailing incoherent sentence, which wasn't really a sentence, merely a few words fired off randomly in Emily's direction.

"Are you okay mum? What has sex got to do with Kleeneze? Or are you confusing it with Ann Summers?" Emily asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion as she made a point of holding up a torn section that detailed some kind of potato peeler. "Now you could use that for sex but I'm thinking it would hurt."

Jenna stared at Emily slightly speechless at her usually quiet daughters outburst. Emily blushed scarlet the second it registered with her what she'd said in front of her mother, she could almost see Jenna scanning the kitchen checking out the kitchen appliances for any potential abuse.

"Emily I heard you. Upstairs. You can't... Not with James in the house Emily, this is a family house. I'm not discriminating, I'd say exactly the same thing to Katie." Jenna finally forced out, causing Emily to positively glow, the brightest shade of red that Jenna had ever seen on anyones face, it surpassed even the colour of Emily's hair.

"Shit... Mum! Stop it!" Emily cried out burying her head in her hands, unable to cope with the thought of her mum hearing things, and the added joy of her mother confronting her on such matters.

"Emily if your dad had heard then he would have gone nuts. Just don't Emily right, not in the house darling." Jenna tried to reason, calmly and clearly, the slightly manic 'caring mother smile' that Jenna shot at Emily was just to much, grabbing the bottle of water, Emily made a swift exit in the direction of her room. Jenna picked up the shredded pieces of catalogue and sighed, dropping them in the bin, alongside her infamous gay book.

**

"Effy will see right through this, Cook's the least romantic person in the world, there's no way he'd set all this up for her." Katie grumbled, her foot kicking at the blanket Ruby had laid out on the ground, the starting point of a 'treasure hunt' that Effy would never forget.

"It's a fucking blanket Kates, and if Cook was wanting to get laid he'd put in a bit of effort... He'd always put in the effort with Effy. He loves her." Ruby sighed, focusing her hardest on setting things up.

"Why are you so bothered about Cook and Effy? You like Naomi, isn't it a bit hypocritical to get annoyed with Effy?" Katie challenged, checking things over, making sure everything was suitably Cook-like, Effy couldn't cotton on too soon.

"I thought we agreed this was about you, about making you feel better about things, about getting your power back. I'm trying to help you Katie, this has nothing to do with me." Ruby shrugged, placing the bottle of wine on the blanket. Pausing as she got lost in thought, everything had gone so wrong since the moment she'd bumped into Naomi and met her bunch of misfit friends.

"You seem to be getting pretty personal about things." Katie pointed out, placing a hand on Ruby's arm, snapping her out of whatever trance she seemed to be lost in.

"People keep fucking me over, I'm angry Katie, this gives me something to do, somewhere to channel it." Ruby admitted angrily, biting her lip she beckoned Katie to follow her, it quarter to eight already, time for them to get ready.

**

Naomi walked from Emily's house with a smile on her face, just being with Emily could do that do her, could make her feel free, made all her problems seem weightless. Reality began to dawn on her the closer she got to her own home however, taking a deep breath she desperately willed herself to remain strong enough to support her mother, she'd done enough hiding.

Pushing the front door open, Naomi was immediately aware of the sound of crying coming from the front room. Feeling her heart tighten in her chest, Naomi rushed to the front room to see her mum in tears on the sofa.

"Mum? Mum is everything okay? You haven't got your results have you? You said you weren't getting them till tomorrow." Naomi rushed, the panic in her voice obvious and she slid down in her seat next to her mother.

"No not yet darling don't panic. I'm just being a bit silly, me and Kieran broke up." Gina sniffled, trying to pull herself together, because really getting upset over a man was angering Gina's feminist side.

"Broke up? Why? What the fuck mum, did you tell him what's going on with you? How the fuck could he leave you now, what if... What if... You fucking need him mum he's a fucking coward." Naomi raged, she felt even more scared and alone now, she was at least hoping she'd have Kieran to help her through this.

"Don't blame him Naomi and stop bloody swearing, it's me alright, I split up with him. Kieran's sister, she died of breast cancer, he had to watch her getting sicker and sicker until she died and I can't be someone else that Kieran loves that he has to lose. It's easier this way Naomi." Gina calmly explained, it had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, pull away from the only other man besides Naomi's father, who she'd actually loved. But Gina had convinced herself that this was the right thing.

"Easier for who? For him? Shit mum you're going to need people, you can't just rely on me and Emily to get you through this. Kieran would want to be there for you, I know he's a grumpy bastard but he loves you." Naomi insisted, getting exasperated with her mother, threading her fingers through Gina's, the slight action taking Gina by surprise but making her smile.

"Darling we know nothing for sure yet, there might not be anything to help me through." Gina sighed, holding on to Naomi's hand a little tighter, stroking Naomi's face with her other hand.

"So then you're destroying things for no good reason." Naomi pointed out, leaning into her mothers hand.

"I need to think about me Naomi. You and me, that's all that matters, it's all thats ever mattered. I know I've been a bit of a mess in the past, and I know I wasn't the happiest person in the world after your dad left, and I didn't make it easier on you by filling that gap with waifs and strays but I love you, everything I've done has been for you." Gina insisted, fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mum stop apologising, I know yeah, and the randoms weren't that bad... Well apart from that one with the B.O problem." Naomi smiled, if anything some of the better spongers had formed some sort of family for Naomi, they were the aunties and uncles she'd never had.

"Arthur didn't believe in antiperspirant." Gina laughed, remembering the particular man Naomi was talking about. It hadn't been the best time for the Campbell house, it had taken weeks after Arthur's departure for the smell to disappear.

"He didn't believe in soap either." Naomi giggled, nudging her mum and pulling a disgusted face at the memory. It felt easy, laughing with her mum and sharing moments which she'd always fought so hard against.

"It hasn't been a horrible life Nai, has it?" Gina asked quietly, her eyes looking into Naomi's, waiting for an answer, for some kind of affirmation.

"Could have been a lot worse." Naomi smiled, wrapping her arm around her mother, pulling her in close and placing a kiss to the side of her head.

"I'll never understand how I ended up with a daughter quite like you, so beautiful, so smart and passionate." Gina beamed proudly, despite the collective of tears that were making yet another attempt at escape.

"I guess I must take after my mum." Naomi shrugged nonchalantly, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "You want a cup of tea?"

**

Effy parked her mothers car up, shuddering slightly as she realised it was the same place she'd parked the last time she'd been here. It would be alright this time though, she promised herself, it was just her and Cook getting high and having sex and exploring the woods like a couple of kids. Nothing could go wrong, she just had to avoid rocks at all costs, she thought to herself with a wry smile.

Wandering along she noticed an arrow pointing in the direction of a picnic blanket, wandering along, Effy smiled to herself, Cook clearly had big plans for tonight. Reaching for the bottle of wine on the blanket, she swigged straight from the bottle rather than reaching for a glass.

"Cook where the fuck are you? Dickhead." Effy smiled, reaching for her phone as she felt it vibrate in her pocket.

_Cookie's monster is a prize. U'll have to work for it. Follow the trail to pleasureland x_

"Fucking pleasureland." Effy scoffed "more like 'pleasure for him, I'll finish myself off later.' Cook if you can hear me then stop being a knob!" Effy called out into the silence, sighing before wandering off in the direction of the next arrow, taking another huge swig from the wine before setting off on her adventure.

It wasn't long before she came across the second stop, and the minute she reached it her phone buzzed again, looking around it was obvious she was being watched, but she couldn't see who she was looking for anywhere.

_Shrooms will make this adventure vivid babes. I've picked the best x_

Sighing, Effy reached down to the bag on the floor, holding a mushroom in between her thumb and forefinger, she considered it, considered the potential of it. It was dangerous, not that she'd ever been one to shy away from drugs, but a bad experience is enough to put a person off. Bringing it to her mouth, she reasoned that with no Katie Fitch around nothing could go wrong.

Katie looked at Ruby as they watched Effy following every step. Katie couldn't believe it when Effy caved in with the shrooms, part of her had wanted Effy to refuse, for this whole plan to be a failure. But now Katie knew it wouldn't be long before the torment of Effy Stonem began.

**

Cook poured out the glass of mango juice, and passed it over to JJ who gulped it down almost in one. Cook always kept some mango juice handy, however much of a shit friend people thought he was, they were wrong, they didn't really know him at all. Cook knew how to look after JJ, he always had done, he had no issue holding his sobbing friend close to his chest, stroking his hair until he finally calmed himself down.

"Jay mate you've got to tell me what's wrong, tell me who's upset you. Have you had an argument with Katie?" Cook gently asked, ready to provide romantic advice in the event of a lovers tiff, and ready to fight if some fucker had been messing with his mate.

"F...Freds... It... It was Freds." JJ stuttered, shaking his head still in disbelief of what he was saying.

"What was Freds? Pathetic emo wanker of the year award?" Cook laughed, realising the joke had fallen flat, that whatever had happened it was serious.

"He hurt Katie. That night. It was Freddie, Cook, it was Freddie." JJ stuttered his eyes baring into Cook's, blue on blue it was an intense stare, JJ pleading with Cook to understand what he was saying.

"Don't be stupid Jay, Freds wouldn't do something like that. We've known him forever mate, that ain't Freddie, it just ain't." Cook insisted, JJ must have got it wrong, got his wires crossed, it was what JJ did, confused things. Cook needed to sort this out, needed to fix the misunderstanding, because this just had to be a misunderstanding.

"He told me Cook, Freddie told me what he did. He showed me his bruises where you hurt him, you hurt the person that attacked Katie." JJ explained, it wasn't something he wanted to believe, it would be so much better if it wasn't true but this had happened, Freddie had admitted it.

"Fuck JJ I'd have recognised it I was kicking the shit out of Freddie, we got so close to that bloke. We would have known." Cook laughed, nudging JJ and trying to make his friend believe that it was all a mistake, but Cook couldn't shake JJ's chilling look, the look that told Cook that JJ wasn't mistaken.

"He was drunk he didn't mean to." JJ muttered in a tiny voice, wringing his hands together and he watched Cook's face contort with understanding and anger.

"I'll fucking kill him." Cook growled, feeling something inside him change, feeling the building rage inside and the need to sort this out. Cook could see Katie shaking on the floor that night, her face, how small she looked.

"Cook please don't." JJ begged, he wanted Cook to make things better but not like this.

"She's your girlfriend, one of our best friends, she's Katiekins and he would have... Shit Jay, he's a fucking bastard and he needs to pay." Cook insisted, snapping as he stood up, dragging JJ with him they moved out of Cook's room, slamming the door behind them.

**

Effy was starting to feel the effects, could feel the changes in her body, in the way she was looking at the woods. They seemed so much bigger now, like the trees had grown around her and were taking over her, there was music, she could hear it so clearly it had to be coming from somewhere it couldn't be in her head.

"Cook please come out, please, you said you'd make this a good trip." Effy yelled out into the darkness, fear building slightly when she heard no sound of response. Swatting at her arms, she tried to calm herself as her eyes were drawn to light.

Katie stood watching, turning the volume up slightly on the boombox, it was helping to block out her own thoughts, as well as confuse the fuck out of Effy. This wasn't as fun as she thought it would be, Effy already looked scared and Katie felt guilty rather than satiated by revenge. Turning her head, Katie noticed Ruby smile as she started to run, her feet purposely crunching across fallen leaves, running in a sort of square she drew to an immediate halt at every corner before changing direction. The sound was enough to confuse Katie, she couldn't imagine how Effy was feeling. When Ruby returned she was panting slightly, out of breath, but smiling wickedly.

"This is fun." Ruby laughed quietly, her eyes locking on Effy who was still completely unaware of their presence.

"Is it?" Katie asked quietly, trying to fight the desire to run over to Effy and just stop this whole thing. Effy looked so lost, so small, it didn't feel right anymore. It didn't seem like a fair fight.

"It's only the beginning Katie." Ruby grinned wickedly, linking her arm through Katie's, they silently watched Effy start to swat imaginary bugs from her arms, hands brushing over her arms before working their way desperately through her hair.


	24. Who Got Their Wish, Did You Get Yours?

**Sorry, long time no chapter which makes me a bad bad person, but this is the penultimate chapter and as you'll find out it required some thought! Can't believe the next chapter is going to be the last, i'm going to start writing it tomorrow so there shouldn't be a massive delay between them. Right onto this chapter, i'll say now there's not loads of Naomily in this one, because Naomily are all over the last chapter (it is their story after all) and as you'll soon discover I had to reach a certain point with the ongoing Katie/Ruby/Effy/JJ/Cook/Freddie saga which is why this chapter is more heavily devoted to them. If you have the time, please review, it helps me so much to know how you guys feel about it, and this is your chance to get in any points before I start writing the last chapter! Thank you :D**

'_She hit me over the head with a rock, she hit me over the head with a rock, she hit me over the head with a rock...'_

Katie kept muttering the mantra to herself, her justification for what was happening in front of her very eyes. This had stopped being fun, now it was just scary and Katie didn't feel like there was any way of escaping. Ruby had disappeared again, was too busy scaring Effy, getting sick thrills out of every jump, every scream. Katie needed to stop this, needed to find a way out, searching for her phone she quickly typed out a text, hovering over her contacts wondering who would be best to send it to. She didn't want to send it to JJ, didn't want him to find out what she'd done, but really she didn't have any option, he was the only one that she wanted to help her out of this mess.

"Fucking hell Kates, thought you'd be wanting to get in on the fun. You know she thinks she's dying or something. We should be taping it, You've Been Framed pay £250 for funny shit like this." Ruby laughed, suddenly appearing behind Katie, Katie stuffing her phone in her pocket quickly before Ruby could notice.

"Where is she?" Katie panicked, worried that she no longer could keep an eye on Effy, it was the only thing making her feel alright, knowing that she had some kind of control over what was happening.

"Let her wander off down there." Ruby shrugged, brow furrowing when Katie started running off in the direction of where she'd just pointed. "Katie what the fuck? Where are you going."

"To find Effy, this has to stop." Katie called out, running as fast as she could, tensing when she heard the crunching of leaves behind her, knowing that Ruby was running just behind her.

Katie really wished she hadn't skipped so many P.E lessons at school, at the time running round a field hadn't seemed too important, not as important as snogging some fit guy behind the gym, but running skills really would have come in handy right about now. Spotting a dazed looking Effy up ahead, Katie increased her speed, glad she'd chosen flats rather than her standard heels.

"Eff!" Katie called out, rushing to Effy's side and grabbing hold of her hand. She could see the immediate relief on the other girls face and she felt nothing but guilt, a twisting feeling in her stomach.

"Katie, Katie why are you here, where's Cook?" Effy begged, a distance in her voice, it sounding so familiar to the last time they'd been in these woods, but rather than hatred towards the girl in front of her, Katie just felt a strong desire to protect her.

"We've got to run yeah Eff, hold on to my hand and we'll be alright, everything will be alright okay, I promise." Katie insisted, immediately pulling Effy away, knowing that Ruby could see them, knowing that it was just a matter of time before the other girl caught up with them.

**

Naomi stood waiting for the kettle to boil, wandering round the kitchen she started to tidy up, cleaning was never a strong point of her mothers, there was at least a fortnights worth of post sat on the kitchen table that hadn't been sorted through. It had always been a job of Naomi's to actually place the bills under Gina's nose, otherwise there was a good chance they'd be forgotten about until the threatening phone-calls began from angry electricity companies wanting their money. Gathering up the pile of letters, Naomi began to sort them into junk, bills and postcards from various weirdos who'd lived in her house at some point.

It was the writing that looked so much like her own that made her stop in her tracks, was it possible that handwriting was inheritable? The envelope had practically become a fan in Naomi's grip, the shake in her hand sending it flapping back and forth, before finally she dropped it like it had burned her.

It was the delicate way her name had been written, it had been written like that in her first five birthday cards, they sat in a box under her bed in a box of memories that Naomi hadn't opened in years. That handwriting sent chills down her spine, made her feel sick, made her heart race so fast it felt like her chest would explode. It physically hurt that he could have this effect on her, she wished she'd never wrote her letter, but at the same time couldn't fight the fact that she was desperate to read what had been written inside.

"Nai what's taking so long with that tea? A woman could die of dehydration in here!" Gina voice called from the living room, breaking Naomi from the stand off she was having with the envelope in front of her. She felt shame, embarrassment, knowing that her mother would feel so betrayed if she knew about this, this was all so messed up. She was so messed up.

"Coming mum." Naomi called, shoving the envelope into her pocket, now she could feel it burning against her thigh, as she tried to ignore the need to look inside it, concentrating instead on pouring boiling water into the two mugs in front of her. She would read it later, when she was alone, when she could concentrate on the words. For now she needed to be there for her mother, needed to be the daughter Gina wanted her to be, even if fear plagued every single moment they spent together. Would these just be memories some day soon?

**

Karen had barely even opened the door, when it was pushed completely open and Cook had forced himself inside, followed by JJ who shot Karen an apologetic look. Cook didn't bother to wipe his feet, dirty footprints marking his pathway from the front door all the way through to the stairs.

"James what the fuck? You can't just barge in here like this, look at the mess you've made you total knob." Karen complained, high heels clattering down the hallway as she made a mad dash to stop Cook tearing up the stairs.

"Fucking stay out of this Karen. Jay will you come the fuck on, we need to have a word with our mate Freds." Cook growled, stopping Karen in her tracks as she realised that this situation was serious.

"Karen just go sit in the living room yeah." Freddie's voice called out from the top of the stairs where he appeared, stopping Cook in his tracks. "Please Karen just let me deal with this."

The three boys stood in silence as Karen slipped off into the living room, shooting one last worried glance at her little brother before closing the door behind her.

"Cook we should just go, this isn't going to make anything better." JJ pleaded, as angry and upset as he'd been earlier, he knew that Cook beating Freddie up wouldn't solve anything. It would probably just result in Cook getting in trouble.

"I didn't mean to." Freddie croaked, his voice cracking as he shook his head, running his hands through his hair.

"It's fucking twisted mate, fucking messed up. She's one of us, one of our fucking friends, Jay's girlfriend. You're not like this, you're Freddie, the nice guy. I just don't fucking understand it." Cook spat, his voice low and threatening, causing Freddie to squirm uncomfortably.

"I'm screwed up Cook, Effy she..." Freddie started, before getting cut off by an angry Cook grabbing hold of his shirt, climbing the stairs and pushing him against a wall.

"She fucked us all over, she broke my heart but I would never do something like that to get over it. It's a weak, pathetic bastard that would try something like that." Cook shouted, fist colliding with Freddie's already aching ribs, Freddie yelped in pain at the contact.

JJ stood watching horrified, his hands trying to find something to do to distract him from what was happening. Finding his phone, JJ was immediately drawn to the tiny yellow message sitting in the corner of his screen waiting to be opened. Noticing it was from Katie , it reminded him that he'd have to tell her about Freddie sooner or later.

_I'm in trouble, Gobblers End, please I need you xxx_

JJ was immediately hit with a wave of panic, knowing Katie was in trouble, the same place as she'd nearly died before. He needed to get to Katie, a feeling of dread building inside of him.

"Katie's in trouble, Cook we have to go, leave him." JJ instructed, watching as Cook dropped Freddie. "Cook she's at Gobblers End."

"Why would she go there, Katie wouldn't go there." Freddie groaned, clutching his stomach, looking back and forth between Cook and JJ.

"I think she's really in trouble guys, she wouldn't worry me like this if it wasn't serious, what do we do now, what do we do?" JJ panicked, pacing slightly as Cook stood trying to formulate a plan.

"We need a car, I'll nick one, some stupid fucker won't have locked their door." Cook decided, practically leaping down the stairs to place a supportive hand on JJ's shoulder. JJ relaxing slightly the minute Cook started to take control.

"My dads car, we can take my dads car." Freddie suggested, shrugging as the other two boys looked at him incredulously.

"We? You think we're fucking involving you in this?" Cook scoffed, shaking his head at how desperate Freddie looked, desperate for friendship, for forgiveness.

"If you're taking my dads car you're taking me, we'll get to her a lot quicker if we stop arguing and just go." Freddie insisted, pulling himself up, walking slowly down the stairs resting against the banister as he walked.

"We won't get in trouble if its Freddie's dads car Cook, stealing a car could get you in serious trouble." JJ shrugged, despite everything, having a full set of Musketeers seemed to make things better.

"Come the fuck on then." Cook sighed, grabbing the car keys off the hallway table, the three boys making their way out the door.

**

Naomi had managed to escape to the comfort of her room once her mother had fallen asleep in front of the television, placing a blanket over her, Naomi had pressed a kiss to her mothers cheeks before moving upstairs.

Now in her room she paced slowly, fingers hovering over her pocket, drumming against it impatiently waiting for courage. Finally Naomi let herself sink to her knees, pressing against the softness of the rug. Pulling the envelope out, Naomi placed it in front of her, turning it over and ripping it open, her hand reached inside and clasped for the letter inside, unfolding it carefully, laying it out in front of her too scared to let her eyes focus on the words.

"My fucking mother heard us having sex." Emily's voice suddenly interrupted, pushing open the door, Emily simply sauntered inside like the house was her own. Oblivious to Naomi quickly stuffing the letter back into the envelope, and sliding it under her bed.

"Emily what the fuck? Did you even fucking knock?!" Naomi snapped aggressively, jumping up, surprising Emily with her force.

"When do I ever knock? This is our room remember, that's what you said to me, meaning I could come here whenever I need to escape." Emily explained, confused by Naomi's reaction, Emily had practically had free roam of the house over the course of their relationship. She'd used her house key to get in figuring that Naomi would be in her bedroom, she didn't expect her presence to bother Naomi.

"It's not our room Emily, it's my fucking room and you should knock." Naomi grunted, knowing that this wasn't Emily's fault, that she wasn't really angry at Emily, but that all the same Emily would be on the receiving end of her aggression.

"Jesus you really are blowing fucking hot and cold at the moment aren't you? You treat me like a cunt at dinner, come and make it up to me, apologise to me and then you go right back to being a twat. Nice Naomi." Emily complained, gently kicking the leg of Naomi's bed, looking at Naomi with her puppy dog eyes which normally would melt Naomi's heart but tonight simply served to annoy her.

"Just don't Emily. Don't start an argument, I can't keep arguing." Naomi sighed, tired of everything that was happening, dropping down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow.

"I just... Your mum gets her results tomorrow. I thought you'd need me." Emily shrugged, shifting uncomfortably, she felt like she was back last year, when Naomi scared her, when she didn't have the confidence to argue back.

"Lets just go to sleep yeah? Come here." Naomi forced a smile, relenting, she held her arms out, pulling Emily in close. She could feel Emily relax in her arms, Naomi hated that power, hated that her mood could dictate someone else's.

"I love you." Emily whispered, nuzzling her nose against Naomi's neck.

"I know." Naomi replied, patiently waiting for sleep. The letter from her father haunting her every thought, and when she eventually slipped into sleep, her every dream.

**

"Eff listen to me, Cook isn't here, he was never going to be here. It's a trick, a set up to scare you. It's all got out of hand but I promise I'm looking after you now. I've sent a text to JJ, he'll figure something out cos he's smart yeah?" Katie smiled, wrapping an arm around Effy, the two of them crouched down hiding from Ruby who was still calling for them.

"You wanted to hurt me like I hurt you. I'm sorry Katie, I'm so sorry." Effy sobbed, regaining some control, Katie's hand in hers kept her calm, kept the bad thoughts from her head.

"Babes seriously as much as I'd love an apology sesh, we can totally do all this girly shit when we're not being chased by a psycho in the woods." Katie insisted, squeezing Effy's hand, the two of them started to move slowly through the foliage.

"Ladies! There you are, now where the fuck have you two been?" Ruby grinned as the two girls managed to walk straight into her, Katie gulped audibly, trying to hold up a swaying Effy.

"You're fucked in the head." Katie spat, trying to step away from Ruby.

"You know you wouldn't be the first person to tell me that, I like to see it more as not taking shit from a bunch of fuckers, who managed to screw up my life, just as soon as I'd managed to get myself straight." Ruby growled, fists clenched, Katie could see that this was not a girl in her right state of mind. There were clearly bigger problems involved here, Katie felt nothing but fear being in her presence.

"Ruby we can fix this yeah. Effy hasn't done anything to you, me neither, we're friends." Katie pleaded, trying anything now to sort this out, she didn't have the physical strength to take on this girl, but she'd always been pretty good at talking herself out of things.

"It can't be fixed." Ruby whispered, clenching her eyes shut as if trying to block out something bad. "How did that rock feel last time?"

"Last time..." Katie muttered, because saying it like that implied there was going to be a next time, and as Ruby's arm raised, Katie began to shake with anticipation of the darkness that had taken over her the last time she'd stood in these woods. Closing her eyes, Katie braced herself, like an execution she waited for the end.

**

"Sweet holy mother of Jesus." JJ gulped, eyes wide as he looked down at the ground, dropping the cricket bat from his hands he stood in shock. Ruby's lifeless body lay slumped on the ground, Effy and Katie stood in front of him mouths agape, Freddie and Cook behind him looking at each other then back to a shaking JJ.

_The boys had arrived, searching the woods, running around calling Katie's name. Each with some kind of weapon, not sure of what danger was waiting for them. JJ didn't like the cricket bat in his hands, didn't like even the thought of potentially using it, it felt heavy and terrifying, but he needed it, needed to find Katie, to protect her. He had never understood love before, but now he knew exactly what it was, what it felt like, what it looked like._

_Freddie was practically limping his way through the woods, he could barely move what with the injuries he already had, plus the others Cook had inflicted on him earlier. But this felt like redemption, finding Katie, helping her, it was his way of making up for what he could have done, for the pain he could have caused her._

_Cook marched around the woods like a determined mad man, he thrived on this kind of excitement, jumped up as he ran through trees looking for Katie._

_It was JJ that spotted them first, spotted the way that Katie was trembling, how out of it Effy looked... What was Effy doing there? Clearly she wasn't the problem, Katie's fingers were interlaced with hers, they were clinging to each other. It was Ruby who looked to be the problem, JJ crept forward quietly, turning round when he heard someone behind him._

"_What's going on?" Freddie asked, hand on JJ's arm as the two tried to get closer to the group of girls._

"_No idea, keep quiet." JJ whispered, head down he tried to listen in on what was happening._

"_Ruby we can fix this yeah..." Katie's voice was loud and clear, it was obvious she was trying to talk the other girl round. _

"_Lads how we doing? Is that fucking Katiekins up there? And Effy and Rubes?" Cook suddenly butted in, being silenced by Freddie shooting him a fierce glare, the three boys slowing down._

"_Oh bobbins." JJ blurted out when he spotted something in Ruby's hand, holding on to the bat tighter his crawl turned into a sprint towards the three girls._

"_How did that rock feel last time?" Ruby asked, JJ running forward and swinging the bat before the rock in Ruby's hand had chance to collide with Katie's head. The sound of the cricket bat pounding against the side of Ruby's head was enough to silence them all._

Cook was the only one to move, he needed to take control, he was the leader, the one they were all looking to for answers. Only Cook didn't have answers, only a question.

"Is she... Alive?" Cook asked, voice shaking as he looked round the group desperately.


	25. Guess I Should Have Seen It Coming

**So this is it, the final chapter, the very end. Thank you so much for everyone that's been reading, for anyone thats ever reviewed and given me the support that is so completely and utterly appreciated. **

Naomi woke to the feeling of Emily's hands gently brushing over her stomach, running up her sides. Blinking open her eyes, Naomi registered the fact that it was still dark, according to her clock it was a little after four which confused her greatly.

"Why are you awake Ems?" Naomi croaked, voice heavy with sleep, a sign that she shouldn't be awake quite yet. Pulling herself up slightly and turning on her side to meet Emily's gaze.

"Shit sorry, I didn't mean to wake you I was just..." Emily trailed, looking slightly guilty as she pulled her hands away from Naomi's body. Naomi grabbing hold of the hands as she did so, bringing them back to her, resting them on her lower back.

"Horny?" Naomi suggested, biting her lip as she looked at Emily, who was now moving her hands of her own accord again, pulling Naomi closer, hands moving upwards, brushing against Naomi's bra strap.

"Touching you doesn't mean I want sex, it just means I like touching you. I feel like I'll explode if I don't touch you sometimes." Emily admitted, and even though it was dark Naomi could tell she was blushing. Emily's voice sounded so small, it was terrifying to Naomi.

"It's scary isn't it? The dependence people have on other people." Naomi muttered, pulling away slightly, but quickly being pulled back forcefully by Emily who made Naomi's eyes meet her own.

"There's nothing to be scared of, I promise you that it's okay to feel like this. You don't have to feel scared, not of me." Emily insisted, she could always tell when Naomi was on edge, when she looked like she was about to flee, it was tiring talking Naomi round sometimes, but always worth it.

"I'm not. I'm just. People can't always be perfect Emily." Naomi stuttered, her fathers letter being a reminder of this, he was far from perfect and yet all she wanted was to read it, to hear what he had to say for himself.

"Good thing I'm a realist. I'm more than aware that you're a twat, luckily I love that part just as much as every other part. I love you for you Naoms." Emily sighed, she'd been struggling to understand Naomi recently. Her girlfriend had made a complete U-turn from talking about the future and forever, to acting like a potential flight risk.

"You love the idea of me. I'm never going to be good enough for you." Naomi whispered, pulling herself in even closer to Emily, her contrasting words and actions leaving Emily speechless. Instead Emily started placing kisses onto Naomi's collarbone, whispering 'I love yous' as she worked her way up Naomi's neck.

"I will never stop loving you." Emily promised, causing Naomi to pull back and stare back at her girlfriend momentarily, before diving in passionately kissing Emily, working it so that she was now straddling her. Hands forcing the T-shirt Emily was wearing off, dropping it down the side of the bed, running her fingers over Emily's torso.

Emily tried to push aside any of her worries and just enjoy the fact that Naomi was grinding on top of her, but she couldn't help but think there was something bigger happening with Naomi that she wasn't letting her in on. Rationalizing that Naomi was probably just concerned about Gina's results, Emily tried to stop thinking, and as her bra was pulled off leaving her exposed to the cool night air suddenly her mind could only concentrate on one thing.

**

Cook didn't think he'd ever experienced silence like this before, his whole life had been an explosion of noise, but right now there was nothing. Even his thoughts felt like they were being whispered, he looked around the group, Freddie now slumped on the ground, head in his hands. Effy still stood looking confused, her hand joined awkwardly with Katie's who was now clutching onto JJ with her spare arm.

"Cook we need to do something, call an ambulance, we need to do something." Freddie insisted, looking up from his hands. "She can't be here, she's going to lose it in a minute." Freddie motioned towards Effy who was squeezing her eyes shut.

"Right, yeah. Fuck. I'll get her away, get rid of the drugs, we won't get in trouble for this, it was self defense yeah?" Cook decided, rubbing his arms, he felt so cold in just his polo-shirt.

"She's dead isn't she?" JJ muttered, eyes wide, his heart pounding, shaking so hard that Katie had to let go of Effy's hand to envelop him in her arms. How had this happened, why were they here, why had this all gone so wrong?

"I ain't a fucking doctor Jay. Look, any drugs, anything incriminating, give 'em to me. I'm going to get Effy away from here, she can't be associated with something like this after what happened with Katiekins. Right? Now Freds you need to keep Ruby warm, try and stop that fucking bleeding. Kates ring an ambulance once I've had a chance to get Eff out of here, and just keep Jay calm. It was self defense. You and Ruby were in the woods Katie and you felt scared, you text JJ and Freddie and they came to find you, they saw Ruby with the rock and Jay hit her with the bat. Most of its not a lie so we're going to be fine, just do everything I've said." Cook instructed, pacing as he did so, hand reaching into Freddie's pocket to pull out the stash of spliffs he knew would be in there. Hiding them away in his own pocket.

"It's a plan. It's a good plan babes yeah? This is going to be okay." Katie promised JJ, pressing a kiss to his cheek, guilt fluttered in her stomach as she watched Freddie move over to Ruby.

"She's got a pulse, it's really weak but its there." Freddie called out, smiling at the group, Katie smiling back but noticing that Cook and JJ didn't look impressed with their third musketeer.

"She's alive, thats a good thing you two." Katie grumbled, placing a supportive hand on Freddie's shoulder.

"Don't touch him." JJ snapped, pulling her hand back, Katie spinning round and looking at JJ confused.

"Babes jealousy doesn't suit you, you know I love you yeah?" Katie nodded, craning her head to kiss JJ, interlacing her fingers with his.

"I'm not... Just don't go anywhere near him, we can't trust him, please just listen to me Katie. I only want to protect you." JJ sighed, pulling Katie away, his eyes meeting Freddie's hurt gaze.

"What's going on?" Katie asked, confused by the obvious atmosphere that had quickly developed between the three boys she thought had been best friends.

"Look we've got bigger fish to fry here kids, she's fucking dying and we need to get Effy away. Eff babes come with me." Cook snapped, softening his voice as he turned to Effy, Effy immediately moving towards him.

"Why do you get to take her away? I should look after her." Freddie challenged, standing up. "Ruby's your girlfriend!"

"Ex-girlfriend, she was trying to snog fucking Naomi the last time I saw her. Plus I don't trust you to be left alone with a woman, never know what you might get up to hey Freds?" Cook growled, his forehead practically pressed up against Freddie's.

"That blonde slag cheated on my sister? I'll fucking kill her!" Katie squealed. "And will someone please tell me what's going on with Freddie?"

"Fucks sake Katie no, Ruby tried to kiss her and Naomi pushed her off. Now can we all concentrate on the matter in hand! Jesus there is a girl bleeding to death in front of us and we're more worried about who's fucking who!" Cook shouted exasperated with his friends, slipping his hand into Effy's who looked at him gratefully.

"You're going to walk?" Freddie asked, conceding and dropping back down to Ruby's side, pressing his hoody, which he'd pulled off, against her head.

"Well we can hardly take a fucking car. It'll be fine, she needs to walk off the fucking shrooms anyway. That's all she's had right Katie?" Cook asked, concerned as Effy dropped her head against his chest.

"Some wine, but that's it I promise. I'm sorry, it all got out of hand, I couldn't stop it." Katie started to cry, this whole situation felt like her fault, the girl slumped on the ground, Effy tightly wrapped in Cook's arms, her own boyfriend shaking and looking so completely messed up.

"Did you even fucking try?" Cook asked as he pulled Effy away with him.

**

In a way Naomi had an ulterior motive with her spontaneous sex, orgasms were like sleeping tablets to Emily, and as soon as Naomi had moved her fingers that final time and Emily had yelped out, shaking as she was brought down from the intensity of it. Her eyes had almost immediately started to flutter closed, and within minutes Naomi could hear the heavy breathing that indicated Emily had fallen asleep.

Normally Naomi would have been annoyed, but Emily falling asleep was perfect because it meant that finally she could creep out of bed and reach for the letter. Padding softly out of the room, careful to close the door quietly, Naomi made her way down the stairs. Shoving the letter into her dressing gown pocket, she switched on the kettle and made a cup of tea before grabbing a packet of fags from the kitchen drawer and wandering outside.

Placing the steaming mug of tea on the patio, Naomi stretched out her legs, lighting up a cigarette and inhaling deeply. Her hand resting inside her pocket on the letter, she was almost ready to pull it out when a voice interrupted.

"Those things will kill you." Gina sighed, taking a seat next to her daughter, laughing as Naomi rolled her eyes.

"You don't smoke. You might be ill. Somehow I don't think the world is fair so I might as well take my chances." Naomi shrugged, taking another drag on the cigarette before flicking it away.

"What are you doing out here darling? It's freezing cold, shouldn't you be in bed with your girlfriend... It certainly sounded like you were enjoying yourself a little while ago." Gina teased, raising an eyebrow knowingly

"Jesus mum, do you just hang around listening out for sex?" Naomi complained, picking up her mug and blowing on the steam before taking a sip.

"No darling, Emily's just always been a little vocal in that department." Gina laughed, having to bite her lip as she watched Naomi splutter and choke on her tea.

"Christ... You're not a normal mum you know." Naomi cried, wiping down her front which was now covered in tea.

"I'm special." Gina agreed, pulling her chair closer to Naomi, resting her arm against Naomi's, their fingers finding each others until they were holding hands.

"Yeah that's one word for it." Naomi smiled, resting her head against her mothers shoulder. The letter would have to wait till later.

**

JJ had always hated the smell of hospitals, they reminded him of horrible things, they reminded him of being seven years old and having to visit his grandmother who he'd never liked anyway, because she thought he was odd and she didn't understand that he just thought about things in a different way to how she did. He remembered how ill she looked, how she looked dead weeks before she finally passed away, and how scary it was when his mum would tell him he had to kiss her goodbye. It was the last time he visited her that he refused to kiss her, didn't want his lips to meet her pale skin, didn't want her odd smell to flood his nostrils and make him feel sick, so when his mother had told him to say goodbye he'd ran away, ran down the corridor past patients and past nurses who tried to stop him. He'd hidden in the toilets for nearly two hours before someone finally coaxed him out. His grandmother died, and he'd never said goodbye, and he felt guilty, because even though he didn't like her and even though she smelt funny and never really understood him, he still should have said goodbye.

"You look like you're thinking." Katie smiled, her hand resting on top of his, it felt strange to have this girl who he loved, who loved him back, looking after him and caring.

"We're always thinking. It's what humans do. We can't just turn it off." JJ stumbled, his words sounding robotic and forced.

"I know I just meant... I'm sorry." Katie whispered, still feeling guilty for JJ feeling like this in the first place, guilty that there was a girl in hospital, guilty that she might not make it and then JJ would be left with this forever on his conscience.

"I got you guys some coffee, probably tastes like shit but yeah." Freddie shrugged, offering the cups out to JJ and Katie, Katie taking it gratefully smiling at Freddie, whilst JJ simply scowled at the taller boy.

"Why are you still here Freddie? This has nothing to do with you. You should just leave, leave us alone." JJ snapped, ignoring the coffee that Freddie was still proffering, hating the sight of his friend, it was simply agitating him further and after the events of the night he really didn't need it.

"I'm part of this Jay, part of this whole fucking mess and you're going to need me when the police come and interview us. I'm your friend remember? I've always been your friend." Freddie insisted, because he knew exactly how messed up JJ would be feeling, and he'd always been so good at stopping him from getting locked on in the past.

"You're not my friend." JJ replied coldly, causing Katie to turn round and glare first at her boyfriend, and then over to her ex-boyfriend.

"Right is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on? Is this about the club that night? Because Jay babes you punched Freddie, its kind of you that needs to apologise not the other way around." Katie sighed, oblivious to the secret that Freddie and JJ were hiding.

"Don't... Please." Freddie muttered to JJ, as JJ contemplated whether this was a secret that should be told or not. His loyalty was to Katie though, and she deserved to know, to finally be able to end this.

"It was him. Freddie was the one that attacked you. I found out and that's why I can't apologise to him, or be his friend, or even look at him. Because you're everything to me Katie and he tried to destroy you." JJ blurted out, immediately dropping his head into his hands to avoid looking at Katie.

"You fucking bastard!" Katie screamed, pushing him into the wall opposite and hammering her fists into his chest. JJ could hardly watch his girlfriend in so much pain, Freddie could concentrate on nothing else but Katie's broken expression and Katie was so locked on punishing Freddie. All three oblivious to the approaching police officers who wanted a word with them.

**

Naomi had to abandon her plan to read the letter once again, she needed to get back to bed, soon Emily would be awake and it was a promise Naomi had made to herself and to Emily that she would always be there in the morning after they'd slept together. Creeping into the bedroom with toast to act as an explanation of her absence, Naomi was relieved to see Emily still happily sleeping in the same position she'd left her in.

Waving the plate under Emily's nose, it took literally a second before she awoke, the smell of melting butter causing Emily to spring awake, pull herself up, and tuck in greedily.

"Oh my god I love you so much." Emily mumbled through a mouthful of warm bread, Naomi could never get over Emily being so tiny but eating so much, her girlfriend was like a machine and Gina had often joked that their food bill had almost doubled since Naomi had started going out with Emily.

"I thought you might be hungry, our early morning session must have worked up an appetite." Naomi winked, referencing their passion from earlier.

"I fell asleep afterwards didn't I? Oh Nai I'm such a shit girlfriend, seriously you should prod me or something." Emily sighed, feeling guilty that she'd left Naomi unsatisfied.

"Ems I didn't care, honestly, I know what you're like. Sex and sleep go one after another with you, followed a few hours later by a strong desire for food." Naomi laughed, stealing a triangle of toast before Emily devoured the lot.

"You know me so well." Emily smiled, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend, beaming at her with an adorable smile. "What time is it?"

Naomi glanced at her watch, sighing when she caught sight of the time. It was getting closer and closer to her mothers appointment, her stomach felt tight, she was glad Emily was eating all the toast now because she didn't think she'd be able to force down anymore.

"Nearly half nine." Naomi muttered, shuffling back on the bed as Emily placed the plate down and took Naomi's hand in her own.

"It's going to be okay yeah? I'm here. We'll be fine the three of us, whatever the result." Emily insisted, her thumb stroking the back of Naomi's hand. Naomi locked in dread and feelings of despair, Emily desperate to keep Naomi going, the pair sat in silence for what seemed like forever.

The two of them eventually began to move, Emily pulling Naomi towards the bathroom, the two of them stepping into the shower. It wasn't sexual. Simply Naomi's need to be with someone, to have someone look after her as reality dawned on her what today could potentially mean for the rest of her life.

Stepping out of the shower, Emily wrapped a towel round Naomi, leaning in and kissing the tip of Naomi's nose.

"I'm scared." Naomi admitted in a soft voice that Emily wasn't used to hearing.

"I know." Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend, wishing there was more she could do to make this easier.

**

"Do you want to sit down?" Cook asked Effy who was swaying slightly, her head continuously crashing into Cook's chest as he tried to walk with her.

"I just want... I want to kiss you... I came here for you." Effy murmured, face buried in Cook's neck, he fought with desire, knew he couldn't take advantage of her like this. Knew that she probably didn't mean it, and that he'd be chucked aside once again leaving him heartbroken.

"I just want to get you home yeah? How about I carry you?" Cook suggested, easily picking up the tiny girl, trying not to swing her in his arms he didn't want the motion of the walk to make her sick.

"I came here, I took the shrooms. I did it all because I love you, because I thought it was what you wanted. But it was all a game, it was all a big punishment." Effy mumbled, rubbing her forehead against the soft material of Cook's polo shirt, she could feel his heart racing underneath the fabric but it didn't scare her, it calmed her.

"I'd have never asked you to do any of that shit babes. You should have known that." Cook sighed, holding Effy tighter.

"Put me down. I want to sit down." Effy insisted, Cook automatically stopping and finding a clearing for them to sit down in. Falling against Cook once again, she felt protected as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'll look after you." Cook promised, pressing a delicate kiss to the top of Effy's head

"I've always been scared. Scared of us. Thought we were too similar to work, but we do work don't we? We've just got to stop hurting each other." Effy contemplated, turning round and analysing Cook's expression, hoping he agreed with her.

"You're high, you don't know what you're saying. Don't make promises you can't keep Eff." Cook grunted, a little harsher than he intended, he could see he'd frightened Effy with the tone of his voice.

"I'm going to go to sleep. I'll tell you the same thing when I wake up." Effy insisted, laying in Cook's arms, so much of a resemblance to the two of them when they were on the run, it all felt so familiar, so nice.

"I hope so, cos I love you." Cook whispered, even though Effy was asleep and couldn't hear him. He would lie for hours waiting for her to wake and tell him she loved him too.

**

With her mother in with the doctor and Emily on a mission to find a toilet, Naomi was left alone and once again found the letter from her father burning away, desperate to be read. Finally pulling it out, she let her eyes focus on the words and began to read. It wasn't terribly long, but said all it needed to say, with a surprising offer at the end. But before she could even contemplate what that meant, Emily had returned and the letter had been shoved back into her pocket.

"It was like an epic adventure just to have a piss, ridiculous." Emily sighed, slumping down in the chair next to Naomi, grabbing hold of Naomi's hand and giving her a supportive smile.

"She's taking ages in there Ems. They don't take ages just to say 'all clear' they take ages to explain treatment plans and shit. This is bad." Naomi worried, her attention diverted from the letter momentarily as her concentration returned to where it needed to be, on her mother.

"...Or the doctors really fit and your mum is chatting him up. Please stop thinking negatively Nai, we won't know anything until she's finished." Emily insisted, finding it difficult to rationalize with Naomi.

Both girls heads turned as the door to the doctors office clicked open, watching as Gina emerged, her face giving nothing away. Sitting down on the chair opposite them Gina stared at the two expectant faces looking back at her.

"We knew that there was a chance it wasn't going to be the news we wanted..." Gina started, her voice cracking slightly, trying to stay strong as she watched the colour drain from Naomi's face.

"Jesus..." Naomi stuttered, standing up and backing away slightly, her eyes begging her mum to tell her this was a sick joke, that this wasn't happening to them.

"There are so many things that they can do darling. I'm going to start treatment straight away, and the doctor says they've caught it early, thats a good thing." Gina desperately tried to explain, Naomi shaking her head as each word cut through her.

"I can't do this." Naomi muttered, turning and running down the corridor. Running so fast, desperate to get out, to get outside. Even when the cold air hit her it still wasn't enough, she had to keep running, had to get away, as far away as possible.

"Gina I'm so sorry." Emily finally spoke, part of her wanting to run after Naomi, but knowing that her girlfriend needed space right now. Instead wrapping her arms around Gina and holding her close, letting the older woman sob onto her shoulder.

**

They'd explained it all, it was all very serious, and there were official statements to be made. Both Katie and Freddie collaborated that it had been self-defense, that Katie had been in actual danger and that JJ was simply protecting his girlfriend. The police were keen to hear what Ruby had to say though, her statement would be the most important of all, if they were able to get one. No doctor had been able to tell them what was going on, what was happening, if she was okay. It was concerning, JJ just couldn't stop thinking.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Katie whispered, her and JJ were finally alone, she could finally wrap her hand around JJ's and let him know how sorry she was.

"I know. I begged you not to though Katie, I begged you to stop with the hatred. Look where it's got us. What are you going to do now? Go after Freddie?" JJ questioned, his blue eyes connecting with Katie's deep brown.

"I don't want to talk about Freddie. I can't think about him right now, not with all this other crap going on." Katie snapped, her skins creeping as she thought about all the times she'd slept with Freddie, how they all made her feel so dirty and unclean now.

"I was walking around and I heard the doctors." Freddie interrupted, walking back in, Katie shooting him a dirty look, as JJ's ears pricked up and he looked interested.

"What did they say? Is she alright? Is she going to be alright Freddie?" JJ begged, standing up his eyes pleaded with Freddie to give him good news.

"Jay, I think... I think she's dead." Freddie muttered, knowing that his words were going to destroy the boy in front of him, and as JJ sunk to his knees, Freddie could see they had.

"JJ" Katie uttered, her hand resting on JJ's back, desperately trying to support him.

"Get off me! This is your fault! This is all your fault!" JJ shouted pushing Katie away, Katie stumbling backwards, surprised and devastated by the look of pain on JJ's face. She couldn't fix this, couldn't make it better, and JJ was right, it was all her fault.

**

There should have come a point when Naomi wanted to stop running, but there wasn't, she just couldn't stop. Only it was different this time, now she had somewhere to go.

**

Emily slipped her hand into Gina's and the two walked together, taking the long way home, they talked, both avoiding the subject of Naomi. Gina explained everything that the doctor had told her and Emily nodded along, listening patiently and smiling and squeezing the older woman's hand in all the appropriate places. Something that Naomi should have been doing, but instead it was Emily left to pick up all the pieces

"She'll be okay won't she?" Gina asked, Emily looking up surprised, Gina breaking the invisible ban on the mention of her daughter.

"You shouldn't be worried about Naomi, I'll deal with her. You need to concentrate on yourself for once, maybe you should call Kieran?" Emily suggested, seeing how Gina dropped her head at the mention of his name.

"It's over between us. I can't make him go through this." Gina sighed, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes.

"Maybe he'd want to go through it with you. If it was Naomi I'd want to be there for her, I'd want to go through everything holding her hand. He really loves you." Emily smiled, leaning her head against Gina's shoulder. Gina kissing the top of Emily's head as she did so.

The front door was almost in sight so Emily began to fumble for the key, Gina smiling at the responsible way in which Emily took care of her. They both paused listening out for Naomi but the house was silent.

"Tea?" Emily suggested, allowing Gina to go into living room and sink down into the sofa to sob the tears she'd been holding in since she got given the news.

Emily wandered into the kitchen and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard, leaning against the counter as she waited for the kettle to boil she spotted something on the table that made her heart sink.

_I couldn't stop running. I love you, don't forget that. Look after her Ems, you're a better person than I'll ever be. x_

Love really fucking hurt sometimes.

**So thats it. Love it? Hate it? Let me know, that button is there for a reason :D There's a possible sequel floating around in my brain at the moment, watch this space to see what will happen with that...**


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